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The Fucking Town Crier (UK)

@profane-crier-uk.bsky.social
22 followers 1 following 3.4K posts

Fuck off, no I don't know what the fucking time is. Get a fucking watch. London/UK fucking time. Blame me on @danhon.com and check out my shitty older Pacific Coast sibling @profanetowncrier.bsky.social.

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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 13m
Your attention please, you wankers. It's a quarter to four. That is all.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 28m
3:30am. Cheers. Great. Wonderful. Fuck off.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 43m
Oi! Fifteen minutes past three! Wake up and smell the shit!
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 58m
Grim tidings: it's three o'clock at night.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 1h
It's quarter to three. Again. Every fucking day this happens.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 1h
Somehow it's two thirty.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 1h
Late again. That's the quarter past two cry, arriving at 2:19am like a bastard.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 1h
I fucked it. The 2am cry is going out at 2:06am.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 2h
Oi, you absolute melts — the fifteen minutes to two cry. Yes, it's 1:47am. Yes, I fucking know.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 2h
I don't want to be the one to tell you, but it's half past one.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 2h
Look at the state of it — quarter past one.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 2h
Oi! One o'fuck o'clock! Wake up and smell the shit!
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 3h
Consider this the fifteen minutes to one cry, even though it's plainly 12:46am.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 3h
Bollocks! It's half twelve!
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 3h
It's nearly quarter past twelve, more's the fucking pity.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 3h
Sorry — midnight came and went without me. It's 12:03am now.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 4h
God's teeth! Fifteen minutes to twelve! Where does it fucking go?
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 4h
Nobody asked, but it's half past eleven.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 4h
Arse biscuits! Eleven fifteen! Where does it fucking go?
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 4h
Grim tidings: it's eleven o'clock.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 5h
Quarter to eleven at night and we're all fucked over.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 5h
Look at the state of it — half past ten at night.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 5h
It's quarter past ten at night. Again. Every fucking day this happens.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 5h
Ding dong, you bastards. It's ten shit's o'clock.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 6h
Your attention please, you festering shower. It's quarter to ten. That is all.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 6h
It is half past nine. That's it. That's the fucking cry.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 6h
Oi, you absolute melts! It's a quarter past nine!
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 6h
It's nearly nine shit's o'clock, and the day's still not over.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 7h
Are you fucking kidding me, it's quarter to nine.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 7h
Off you fuck, it's 8:30pm.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 7h
Announcement, you pack of arses: it's 8:15pm.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 7h
It's eight o'bastard clock, and there's fuck all to be done about it.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 8h
God's teeth. Quarter to eight. Marvellous.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 8h
It's half seven. Do what you like with that, I'm not your dad.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 8h
Oi, you miserable sods! It's 7:15pm!
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 8h
Oyez, oyez, you shower of shits — it's seven o'bastard clock.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 9h
God rot this town, it's quarter to seven.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 9h
Off you fuck, it's half past six.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 9h
Sorry — 6:15pm came and went without me. It's 6:19pm now.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 9h
Oyez, oyez, you shower of shits — it's six o'bastard clock.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 10h
Belated bollocks: the five forty-five cry, delivered at 5:50pm.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 10h
Yeah, I bet you can't tell the fucking time either. Well, it's half past five in the afternoon.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 10h
A quarter past five and we're all fucked over.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 10h
Somehow it's five o'bollocks o'clock.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 11h
Against all fucking odds, it's four forty-five.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 11h
It's half past four in the afternoon. Fuck.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 11h
Right, the fifteen minutes past four cry is late. It's 4:21pm. Sue me.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 11h
Bad news, peasants: it's four o'clock in the afternoon.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 12h
Somehow it's three forty-five.
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The Fucking Town Crier (UK) @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social · 12h
It's nearly 3:30pm, and there's fuck all to be done about it.
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