iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 41m

I hope ppl aren't reading this and thinking I'm being weird or dramatic or something, this is just me lol. The two distinct me's

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 47m

Part of me wants to call it fake and artificial but it's not. I am growing and steering my trajectory, building on decades of life experience. Ceejay and Faith just feel on par with one another. But most of the time Ceejay is somewhere between a version of me in amber and an imaginary friend

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 53m

I don't consider myself plural, but others can. I prefer just being seen as a boymoding trans woman, as Faith is very intertwined with my meat body. But there are two very distinct characters that live inside of the virtual space of my imagination, that are both me, that can communicate (not often)

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 59m

These are the two halves of my whole self. Hormones helped me find and nurture my real feminine identity, but it did not eliminate Ceejay. He is never going away. Faith and Ceejay both distinct in interests, personality and needs. I switch between being one or the other. Ceejay sucks at being a girl

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 1h

Faith is big sister to the core. She loves to pour attention into others and away from her. She can only do things that actively interest her. But also she has to be good at everything she does. She loathes making fetish art. She is very self serious. She loves herself. Ceejay does not

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 1h

Ceejay is the part of me that *needs* love and validation. I was visualizing myself cuddling him on the couch as I was dozing off. Being all reassuring and stuff. He is still basically a 19 year old in terms of maturity and also ability to handle any rejection or boredom. He is so dramatic

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 3h

Alcohol and/or weed would go crazy rn but alas......

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 3h

when you get mad cause ur always domming

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 7h

Tbh larger brain move would be designing pooltoys ahead of time and seeing if puffypaws will let me run them in an official capacity if I hype them the fuck up

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 8h

It's actually crazy I haven't designed pooltoys in an official capacity for any company except helping on some design docs for puffypaws. Like you would think someone would reach out but there's another pooltoy 3d modeler that everyone defers to lol

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 9h

It's absolutely worth pursuing! Even non stimulants made a massive difference in my life, I also got on them late so I know the feel

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 14h

Voice training really sucks considering I don't really have voice privacy, even if it's just Fliss, it doesn't make it any less embarrassing. Maybe it's a good thing to get over the embarrassment, but I hate being bad at things. Especially if it's, yknow, talking

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Reposted by Faith (personal)

Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 14h

operator: 911, please state the nature of your emergency me: hey. why was liberty biberty beheaded operator: he constructed the forbidden fractal me: i don't know what that means operator: some 300 light-years from earth, there exists what you might describe as a "palace of time." the me: nevermind

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 15h

I think Determination over Perseverance implies intuitive vs analytical thinking. But it also implies a strong sense of self, and I do not have that. Transitioning helps, but I'm the most depersonalized girlie you will ever meet lol

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 16h

I think Perseverance might even be #1 and Kindness #2. Then bravery probably followed by everything else which do not describe me. It's obvious to me now that I *have* to be really good at things that interest me. And I am a deep analytical thinker and not really an emotional one

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 16h

I am a Kindness girlie but probably more Perseverance than Patience. Idk why I'm thinking about the deltarune personality thing like months later but I am not patient even though the test said I was

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Is it normal to get a feeling like you are not sure where you belong that lingers for a while? My transition, quitting weed, irl stuff etc has contributed. But I am often feeling like I don't know where I slot in with life or communities lately, lots of relationships but craving more depth maybe

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Check out a few different vids cause this one underexplains it tbh but youtu.be/5aCDuzN0lds?... I'm doing the exercises from this in bed. Also don't overdo it. You can strain your throat

youtu.be

An Actually Simple Trans MTF Voice Tutorial: The Larynx ( great for beginners! )

YouTube video by FairyPrincessLucy

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I'm just doing some larynx exercises for now til I have a better idea of what I want my voice to sound like, aside from "girl version of my voice"

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

The voice thing is probably gonna be the hardest part of my transition........

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Thank you for all of this, I wish I had more words atm but it means a lot. I am going to get started on voice training before bed after reading this... I probably would have put it off again without it all. Again, thank you

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I'm a masked autistic person... I don't think sounding like a big fat chill af pothead is exactly natural either but it's just how I sound... aughhhh dysphoria is such a bitch

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

But then again I am finding the concept of voice training to be painful in its own way, that I'm suddenly fake, or something. Or that I don't want to be inauthentic... but is my voice and inflection really authentic? Or not just maintaining a reflection of who I used to hang out with in high school?

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I keep dragging my heels on voice training but I literally have man voice to the extreme, if I don't I'm gonna risk showing up to ANE with a complete mismatch between my physical appearance and my voice

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Not looking for reassurance here, just getting it off my chest. I get this feeling like I don't come across as a girl *at all* in VR and voice calls... it's not just my voice but maybe my attitude in general? In real life I have the benefit of looking hella trans. Calls and VR are brutal now

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Similarly when someone uses Degenerate, even to describe themselves. The use of fascist lingo like this is so detrimental, it only legitimizes & internalizes these toxic ideas

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I do art for a living and it's nerve wracking with my imposter syndrome and all. Objectively I'm "good enough" but I'm getting an increasing sense of dissatisfaction with my 2D art. Maybe I'm about to improve? I've been busting my ass learning how to paint this past month. Who knows

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I have to get better at art............

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

This may be the start of my metamucil era

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Find me at the Super-Kamioka Neutrino Detection Experiment if you want an ass kicking

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I have had a nice and productive week! Taking actual positive steps towards improving my health n hopefully prevent more CHS (probiotics and metamucil lol) and more than anything just so glad I'm getting so much queue work done one day at a time 🙏

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Finished two drawing comms! Gonna be working on 3d for an animation project most of the day tomorrow, got a friend hangout around afternoon and dinner. After that it'll be painting til I earn Wuckle time... :3

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Awww thank you! And yes absolutely it's a similar thing with me. Not to be so on the nose but faith in a higher power becomes faith that there is a brighter future possible if I/we put in the effort, for myself and Fliss and for trans and queer folks, autistic ppl and the world at large...

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

My name is kinda like. Religious bro..., like but also kind of mirrors edge about it

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Quitting weed alongside also is a huge difference maker too. Feels like I unlocked more of myself (in exchange for CHS+being grouchy and miserable a lottt lol)

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

There will be new challenges with my transition, bumps in the road and more to learn. I'm a long way from being super cis passing for instance. But it feels like I'm downhill of the hardest parts of my transition finally. 🙏

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

TF2 sounds less fun than this, and my queue wouldn't be budging all the while someone calls me the t-slur on the opposite team

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Trying to learn painting and one of my owed comms is now a painting, working on a huge blender project and doing more of the fun modeling stuff atm, might dig through old art for a Patreon post, and possibly finishing up an audio editing comm which is also pretty fun to work on tbh

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Okay today actually feels like a day where I clocked in and just got a bunch done... Won't be finishing anything (probably), but workin on several different comms and having me-time late tonight. If anything I might not even mind working the entire day, I'm not really bored of what I'm working on

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Faith (personal) @printedonsmile.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

In about 2 weeks, after I've cleared a bunch of my 2d queue, I'd like to take some painting commissions :3 I'll be practicing more and timing myself so I know what to charge!

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Reposted by Faith (personal)

Fliss...! @fairygirl.me · 06/10/2026

Faith really is the boobs of the relationship

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