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PraetorKyiv

@praetorkyiv.bsky.social
185 followers 223 following 489 posts

Your local feral archaeologist (I promise I don’t have rabies) 💙💜❤️ She/They

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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
“You should be a teacher” Bold to assume I am actually good at teaching. I know a lot of shit and I like telling people what I know if it can help them but I am far from a teacher. I’d rather support the people who know they can be teachers and are good at it
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Moose booooogelow @moosebigelow.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Lenny from the simpsons changing a sign that says 365 days without charlie kirk saying something racist
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I can’t believe I just watched @samreich.bsky.social eat his cousin’s ass on Game Changer
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
“You’ll just dig yourself into a new hole” Gurl I am an ARCHAEOLOGIST! I dig HOLES for a LIVING! I dove head first in a hole before my professor even finished her sentence. It was a GLORIOUS HOLE I tell ya. Real fucking weird one too. I still ask about it when I get the chance
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Enrichment Time but it’s mean with the fridge open foraging out of various bags of berries
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
“You got two messages. Would you like AI to summarize it for you?” Anyone who would need messages summarized should not be considered mentally capable
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
We should let the lesbians be in charge for the 250 years
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The Onion @theonion.com · 12/08/2026
“It might seem like a lot of money, but it’s worth it to have to a bird chittering away two feet from that guy’s bedroom from dusk till dawn,” AIPAC CEO Elliot Brandt said
theonion.com
Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed’s Window
ANN ARBOR, MI—In an effort to irritate the recent winner of Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night, a spiteful American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent...
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Average @gamechanger.dropout.tv Episode with Vic Michaelis be like: Sam: Vic. You had to sign 10 strangers up for a magazine subscriptions. You got 10? Vic: Well, Sam. I thought about doing the challenge when I realized I could just steal your credit card info. Also I’ve stolen your wife and dad
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
“Delta 0420, pwease begin your descent at a 69 degree angle, UwU” “*sigh* Copy that Air Control. Beginning descent now, over”
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Whatever comes, perhaps it’s best if I don’t see it
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
To be loved is to be changed.
Dragon, a scruffy grey stray, squints and hisses at the camera from a garage floor after being rescued. Large patches of fur are shaved away after he got beat up by other cats and he has lacerations all over his body. His eyes are squinty and crusty.Dragon — a little more than 3 months later — looks much healthier. His face is calm and smiley with his beautiful green eyes open to the world. He is wearing a little green shirt with a teddy bear on it because it stops him from meowing in the middle of the night when he feels comfy and secure.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
The owl is out tonight 💜
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
@brennanleemulligan.bsky.social Do you could identify this bird?
If you thought you’d find the answer here, you’d be wrong!
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
They know so many people will cheer
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I can’t help but imagine that the earliest stages of domestication first happened because some humans saw a wolf pup and refused to let nature take its course. Might be idealistic but if humans are humans across time, I can see this scenario playing out. I can see all the ways it may have went wrong
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Throwing rocks can really be therapeutic
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
All this because white people in white majority states saw a few brown families moved into their small town and got scared of “being replaced” by immigrants…again
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
“But what if it WAS aliens” You can entertain yourself with that question all you want Kevin but at the end of the day, even if was aliens, your life would not change. Like I don’t know what these people expect other than maybe they think we’ll join some intergalactic union? What a fucking joke
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I pronounced it like Tequila with ‘r’ and removed the ‘l’ which got me pretty close. Anyway, TERQUIA! DA DA DA DA DA DA-
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
“Yes, very good sir. This will absolutely own the liberals”
A meme of the Infamous American Anti-Pope, JD Vance
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
I’m so serious when I say this: Teach your kids how to properly build a campfire and they’ll love you for it. “What if they get burned?” Then it’s a great time to learn first aid and they’ll learn to be more careful around it
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Ah so this is their final solution on the matter then in their minds
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
“Hey I think I’m gonna runaway to the woods” always sounds like a fun idea but most people can’t handle the shadow people being perpetually in the corners of their eyes after awhile for some reason. I don’t think they’re too bad. Idk, they don’t really do anything other than lurk. Kind of lame
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
It seems I’ve gone to birds. That’s ok. The birds are so pretty anyway
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Russell T. Davies almost certainly made sure he wasn’t in Britain when he dropped one of the biggest bomb shell of disappoints in recent Doctor Who history. I’ve seen how insane the brits get over soccer, they’ll give him the Cromwell treatment for this
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
It’s funnier knowing the owners want to do this because they fucked up by buying the land for a new stadium without checking the area to see if a stadium would work in the area and so now they are losing money. That’s why they wanted the tax payers to build their stadium
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Alexis Christensen @amchristensen.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Yes, please, learn Latin. It’s definitely not the “woke professors.” Rather it’s university systems/admin, educational boards, and legislators who are cutting and limiting the teaching of things like Latin.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Tempted to eat some strange fruit I found
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Alex Wild @alexwild.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
tl,dr; Scientists no longer allowed to use federal funding to publish, attend meetings, or talk to the public. They cannot collaborate internationally. Grants can be cancelled for any reason, at any time, political appointees have a final say over what gets funded, and who gets funded.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
“What’s your source” I was communing with the spirits and verbally harassed the original author
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Of course Gen Ai doesn’t do anything meaningful. The people who keep pushing for it think otherwise and amazed by it are the dullest people around at best. “I asked ChatGPT” Well I asked your mom what she thought of you and she regrets not getting that abortion
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Midwesterners aren’t actually 70% water like the rest of humanity. 70% of various liquids sure but I’d hardly call Ethanol and cheap beer but there’s some water in there somewhere if you look around enough
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
I’ve never seen anymore reveal just how selfish they really are other than the boomers when it comes to the death of one of their relatives
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
“Now I’m going to have to build a better friend.” Jfc, these people need to be forced outside for like 6 months straight at all times
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Vampires are real. They just don’t sparkle or drink blood anymore. They still feed off us but not in the way that’s familiar to us. They just feed on your wealth, fear, and labor.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
140 years. They’ll take your blood, data, and time. They’ll tell you that you should be grateful for what you have when it isn’t even the bare minimum. 140 years. The economy is booming. Need help? No handouts unless you are a company of course. The economy must never not be booming.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
If you need a machine to help you make decisions, seek therapy anyway possible. Genuinely, for your own sake, if not everyone else’s
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
It was just pointed out to me that I say “spelt” instead spelled. I’ve never used “spelt” in place of ‘spelled’ in my writings afaik, but I never noticed I adopted the British pronunciation at some point ig
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
In 20 years, those kids are gonna go no contact from their parents I’m almost sure of it
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
“I wish I could ask ‘Who hurt you?’ to whoever wrote this.” They were talking about the KJV Bible 💀 I mean I think it’s safe to say Queen Lizzie didn’t…help the situation
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Is it illegal to curse someone with eternal hemorrhoids? It’s amazing how something so small can cause so much discomfort
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Ooo I can hear the bats are outside tonight 💜
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
If you can hear something walking in the dark, it’s intentional
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Mama made spaghet gobbless
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
“It’s actually Belisarius, not Belusarius. I don’t understand how anyone…” My Latin teacher told me I didn’t have to worry about people like you outside of cocktail parties. Like you could have just given me the proper pronunciation instead and moved on. Christ I hope I was never that insufferable
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Dr Alex Fitzpatrick @animalarchaeology.com · 18/04/2026
“Oh, these aren’t prehistoric so Alex wouldn’t be interested in eating them…” Incorrect, I respect my contemporary archaeology colleagues and will honour them by eating these too.
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
If you die before me, I’ll think “What would you do?” As if you were still here get a drink Even if my memory fades, I’ll see you Death is an end, but you’d still live on In every tabby and orange cat In every rose and shot of tequila I hope you can be ok with that
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PraetorKyiv @praetorkyiv.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
media.tenor.com
a statue of a man standing in a cloudy area
Alt: Moses from The Bible using a beyblade blessed by God Herself to part the Red Sea.
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More Perfect Union @moreperfectunion.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
BREAKING: Maryland is about to become the first state in the nation to ban the use of surveillance data and dynamic pricing at grocery stores. The Maryland House has just passed the Protection from Predatory Pricing Act. Governor Wes Moore plans to sign the bill.
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