Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 23/05/2026There are two types of polyamorous people when it comes to disclosure boundaries: those who do better with more information about what their partner(s) are doing with other people, and those who do better with less. Here's how you figure out which type you are: 1145
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 23/05/2026If your partner is struggling with your polyamory, which response do you think they’d respond better to? 1. “You agreed to it, so why are you still upset about it? Maybe you aren’t really polyamorous if you’re going to be so difficult.” 1103
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 21/05/2026If you’re struggling in your polyamorous relationship and all your partner has to say to you is “maybe you aren’t actually polyamorous” instead of being empathetic and curious, what they’re actually saying is “your emotions are inconvenient to me, so I’m going to shame you about it.” 1101
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 15/05/2026Polyamorous people who take an overly dogmatic, holier-than-thou proselytising approach when talking about what polyamory 'should' look like are not only reinforcing feelings of shame and judgment in people who are just looking for support, but are also buying into purity culture. 1154
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 13/05/2026Polyamorous people who aren't aware of their couple privilege can do a lot of harm, but on the flip side, those who rush to escalate newer relationships before they're ready in the name of "fairness" are also mishandling their couple privilege. Here's how to avoid this pitfall... 1114
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 04/05/2026polyamorous people love talking about how polyamory offers so much novelty and variety in the partners we date but in reality 90% of us just date multiple versions of the same person in slightly different fonts and I love that for us 0223
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 02/05/2026The polyamorous community love to say "love is infinite but time/energy are not", but at the same time, how one spends their time/energy is a way to demonstrate that love for their partners. 1151
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 01/05/2026Moving from scarcity to abundance mindset in non-monogamy can be extremely useful for reframing core beliefs that are shaped by mononormativity AND it's also important to remember that you can't gratitude journal your way into dropping your standards and expectations for a relationship. 192
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 29/04/2026Polyamory doesn’t mean I feel I SHOULD pursue every opportunity for connection that comes my way. It’s the freedom of choice in knowing that I COULD if I wanted to 💛 0254
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 16/04/2026A lot of polyamorous people will NOT like what I have to say about this, but…your partner is unfortunately allowed to make the choice to be in shitty, toxic, and even abusive relationships. 1153
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 11/04/2026when I meet a polyamorous person who clearly communicates their expectations, respects my boundaries, and knows how to manage their time and energy 1213
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 09/04/2026'Freedom' in polyamory doesn't mean 'doing whatever you want without consequences'. We are 'free' in the sense that we have AGENCY and CHOICE to customise our relationships according to what feels good to the people involved. 1154
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 05/04/2026If you’re trying polyamory specifically because you want to “trade up” and find a better monogamous partner while keeping your existing partner around as a safety net in case you fail so you never have to be alone...that's not polyamory, that's called monkey branching. 2274
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 02/04/2026polyamorous person: I’m really struggling in my relationship! society: hm well it’s your fault cuz polyamory never works, maybe just be normal polyamorous person: I’m really happy in my relationship! society: impossible. you must be lying. or being manipulated. you need help 1337
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 02/04/2026polyamorous folks, what is the name of your polycule group chat and why is it “polycool”, “polycute”, or “polycult” 3182
Reposted by Leanne YauUK Polyamory Association @uk-poly-assoc.bsky.social · 01/04/2026If you're not subscribed to @polyphiliablog.bsky.social 's newsletter you should strongly consider doing so. www.polyphilia.blogpolyphilia.blogPoly Philia 053
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 31/03/2026We live in a ragebait economy where most people are more interested in mess, drama, and confirming their existing biases than learning about healthy polyamorous relationships. 2185
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 28/03/2026to every polyamorous man who says “I only let my bi girlfriend/wife date women because I know she’ll never leave me for a woman” - karma is about to come at you real fast 0223
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 28/03/2026There are three types of polyamorous people: those who send personalised messages to each of their partners, those who send the same message to all their partners, and those who just text the group chat. 0175
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 27/03/2026If you are polyamorous and you don’t disclose that in your dating profile (esp on mainstream apps), sure, you’ll probably get more matches and a small ego boost…until you realise the majority of them are monogamous people who aren’t looking for the same thing, and will likely be upset with you. 1192
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 21/03/2026What do Lily Allen and Lindy West have in common? They're both women who have recently published works that led to the entire internet dunking on the polyamorous community. *sarcastically* YAY! My thoughts as a non-monogamist of 10 years and a polyamory educator of 5... 182
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 19/03/2026If someone isn't treating you the way you feel you deserve in your polyamorous relationship despite multiple a) reminders of your needs, b) conversations about boundaries, and c) requests for change, you have put in your fair share of effort already, and they are simply not the person for you. 1256
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 19/03/2026Relationship orientation exists on a spectrum, so that means someone out there is the Most Polyamorous Person On Earth. It's you 🎉 032
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 16/03/2026Hudson Williams being a bisexual polyamorous king according to this Twitter AI summary is sending me 🤣 0130
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 15/03/2026When I say I don't recommend opening your relationship unless you are genuinely prepared for the relationship to change and potentially to end, this isn't because I think polyamory is bad or doomed to fail. It's because any change involves uncertainty and risk. 1212
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 13/03/2026I don’t mind couples seeking threesomes on dating apps as long as they are upfront about it. But if you use the woman as bait and sneak the man in the last photo, not only is that predatory creep behaviour, it also tells me you don’t like your partner enough to show them off. 1224
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Something we don't talk enough about in polyamory is how there is this subtle pressure not to "rain on your partner's parade" - and that can lead some people to not be fully honest about how they are feeling, even when they REALLY need to be. 1162
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 12/03/2026In polyamory, with freedom comes responsibility. If you want to connect with multiple people, you also have to be prepared to support multiple people with their emotions, including the difficult ones. Unfortunately, here's where I see this typically go wrong... 1235
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Two things can be true at the same time: your partner deserves to be happy about their connections with other people, AND your tender feelings also deserve support and consideration. 1143
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Here are the signs that show you may 🚩 lack emotional awareness 🚩 in non-monogamy - and how to fix it 🧵 1103
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 19/02/2026I had a foursome two nights ago - and last night I found a ring that wasn't mine under my bed. So I texted the three people going "is this your ring?" Reader, the ring did not belong to any of them. So now I need to text at least 6 other people! 1160
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 19/02/2026If you are polyamorous and looking for long-term connection: learn to be disciplined with your time and energy management, or risk disappointing multiple people at once. 1267
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 13/02/2026me when I see a straight monogamous vanilla person on Feeld: 081
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 11/02/2026As a former semi-successful fanfiction writer: if you’re not writing fanfiction purely for the love of the game, kindly get the fuck off fanfiction sites. Monetising fanfiction is ILLEGAL loser behaviour. Same goes for anyone who “writes” AI fanfiction. Grifters need to fucking stop. 1121
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 10/02/2026Just because you're struggling IN polyamory, it doesn't mean you're struggling WITH polyamory. You're allowed to find something challenging without it having to mean anything about who you are or what you want. 0174
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 10/02/2026I want all the “I want two boyfriends who also kiss each other” girlies to know that polyamorous bisexual men exist and you can absolutely make that a reality right now, but you'd better make sure to unpack your internalised biphobia and mononormativity before you attempt ANY of that 💁🏻♀️ 2316
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 10/02/2026When you're experiencing challenging emotions in polyamory, here are some phrases you can use to defuse the tension and stay in connection, rather than escalating into further conflict: 1172
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 10/02/2026If your first reaction to your friend telling you that they're struggling in their polyamorous relationship is “maybe you should just go back to monogamy”, you're being a terrible friend. I said what I said. 1184
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 10/02/2026I actually disagree with the advice that you should "go at the pace of the slowest person" when you're opening up a monogamous relationship, because hot take: I think that is an approach that panders to mononormativity. 141
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 09/02/2026"How do I stop feeling jealous?" is the wrong question to ask. When we feel uncomfortable, it's natural to want the feeling to stop, but this can easily slide into suppressing the emotions, which usually leads to them coming back with even more intensity later on. To avoid this, try these instead: 1213
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 08/02/2026cold take but to me, the entire point of being an influencer is to a) authentically connect with your audience and b) be creative, so if you’re using generative AI to make your content for you, then you are doing neither of those things and are in it purely for the profit 🤷🏻♀️ 1102
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 07/02/2026The best thing you can do for your non-monogamous journey is learn not to take things personally - especially when it comes to what your partner is doing with other people. 1234
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 28/01/2026Mono-poly relationships are rare, but they can and do work - and, as with any relationship, it highly depends on the people involved. Here are the 5 traits that I see in functional relationships between a monogamous person and a polyamorous person that set them up for long-term happiness: 1156
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 21/01/2026I've started a new series about KINK on my Patreon, where every month, I talk about one of my many sexual fantasies: what they are, what makes them hot, where they might come from, and how I turn fantasy into reality with my partners. Here's a preview: www.patreon.com/posts/nsfw-i...patreon.com(NSFW) I Have A Kink For...Being Ignored | Leanne YauGet more from Leanne Yau on Patreon 042
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 19/01/2026You can’t say you want to be polyamorous and then flake on dates whenever you feel like it, have zero consideration for your partners’ feelings and needs, get defensive when they try to communicate with you, and bail as soon as things start to feel inconvenient or uncomfortable. I said what I said 🤷🏻♀️ 2185
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 18/01/2026a real text that my 17-year-old non-monogamous ass sent in 2016 to my partner: 1241
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 18/01/2026We all need to get better at recognising and boycotting AI generated content and content “creators” because if I see yet another bunch of short sentences like “No A. No B. Everything is C” followed by “it’s not X, it’s Y” with a bunch of em dashes and generic language I am going to fucking scream. 0230
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 16/01/2026This is WILD - I just found screenshots of my first ever dating app profile from 2016 while looking for photos to post for a throwback! I made this in October, so I had turned 18 three months before (😱), and I was in my first non-monogamous relationship of 8 months. Would you have swiped right? 🤣 2111
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 16/01/2026Dan and Phil reacting to Heated Rivalry was my crossover of the century. I am living in the best timeline. My year has been made. 060
Leanne Yau @polyphiliablog.bsky.social · 16/01/2026Mononormativity taught us that your partner having other partners is a "one up" on you, that you're the "weak" one being "taken advantage of", "cucked", and perceived as "losing" to them. 1146