iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

non-existence sounds kind of nice right now

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forever jealous of people who found the love of their life before age 40 I know it's not evolved & I try not to be jealous but I'm just so fucking jealous It's not fair that I was created unlovable in a world where love is everywhere

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I don't wish I were dead. But I kind of wish I wasn't hurting so bad. The only thing keeping me going right now is that in three days I'm going on a vacation I paid for 6 months ago.

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a cool thing about posting your depression freakout thoughts at 4:44 in the morning is no one will see them, so no one will comment

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if anyone were to say, wow Mark, why is it so hard for you to imagine good things happening? Because the narrative of my life has always been "Go fuck yourself" (or at least, it's felt that way) I made it to 40 & I've got: --trauma --mild ptsd --anxiety --no gf or wife I'm tired, man. No hope

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

It's so funny because I went my entire adolescence feeling like I was so different no one would ever want to date me, & flash forward to being single at 40 it's like, Wow, 14 year old me was right. Ladies do not care about a furry toy designer. Kinda feel like I have no soulmate in this life

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I have that Aquarius thing where if I decide I'm done with you, or done with a situation, I'm gone forever just like that, and it's not hard to walk away It's not callousness or being cold, it's just a switch that gets flipped when I've made my mind up

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Reposted by Plush Rush

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

wanted to draw a fluffy & furry fox lady this is Ivy, a mid-20s cutie w/ a pixie-cut

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

wanted to draw a fluffy & furry fox lady this is Ivy, a mid-20s cutie w/ a pixie-cut

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Shayla, one of my black OCs. I think her pretty face and big nose are really cute

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I was looking through old photos of myself, of my artwork, of the things I've built & done & made, of the person I am & have been, and I got emotional I forget sometimes, how special I am... I really do sometimes not see the unique & lovely guy that I am.. I love myself & am thankful to be alive🥲

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

something not everyone understands is that sometimes someone's attitude can make them ugly there was this one woman on Insta I was super attracted to, & she made a joke one day in the comments that was cruel, mean, & tasteless. Any attraction I had for her just evaporated away, instantly

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I hate that Nickit & Thievul have two of the coolest, most interesting designs but they are saddled w/ terrible stats Whenever GF designs something super cool-looking & then give it crappy stats, I call it the "Tropius" effect In an alternate universe Thievul's competitively viable..

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Anytime I imagine a lady dating me I think of all the negative things in my life she'd have to put up w/, & I'm like "well of course no woman would want to be w/ me", when there are men out there who are hotter, funnier, more fit & more interesting than I I feel like I'm not exceptional enough

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

so glad I don't work anymore for the company I used to work for. Being forced me to work a later shift that effectively meant I couldn't socialize or go to family dinners for 3 years is something I don't miss. I don't miss my ex-manager's anti-plush bias. I don't miss being an afterthought to her

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as someone who has looked at fakemon art for literally 20 years online, I've realized I'm kind of over it, personally the problem for me is that I feel like everyone tends to design the characters the same way. Let me explain in this thread

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slight NSFW but as someone who has a kink for furry art/transformation art I sometimes think about it a lot I have mild OCD & so sometimes i'm like "am I thinking about it TOO much??" Like it doesn't run my life but I'm a sexual person & it's part of who I am. I dunno know it that makes sense

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don't do it, Steve; don't go bananas ---Go bananas, Steve -- do it

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

loose doodle doreen the monkey jokes about her hubby Monty's celebrity crush Inde Navarette lol

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Finally phased on my shiny Minun hunt with shiny Scraggy! I don't have that yet so I'll take it. I was delighted to FINALLY see something after going over odds

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

the fun thing about having ocs is that you can draw a bear husband asking his duck wife to get heavier, and no one can stop you lol

monty the bear asking his wife fionna the duck if she'll gain weight; she cutely humorously says "aww, sure!"

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that feeling when you commissioned a popular cartoonist to illustrate an oc & it's been a long time since you heard back 🫠

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been doing more self-work & I realized it's not so much that I suck at dating or am undesirable it's more that I have never once really been able to truly SEE myself, for how impressive, special, interesting, & lovable a guy I am.

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more late night journalling: i think in the past I've put people in relationships on a pedestal, above me. Like, "if you're married, I'm not as good as you" Part of this is because of my depersonalization issues from childhood. But it goes beyond that, too

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I think part of why my heart aches so much over being single is just that I have... --so much-- love to give.. I always have. It's not something I can care less about.. I really believe part of my life story was to love someone. I want to meet that person, & I hold hope I will. 1 day at a time

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I'm not trying to be a sad-sack here, but... you ever catch a glimpse of your past, of the person you used to be 5 or 10 years ago, & you get kinda sad? It can hurt to recall an awkward time in your life, to recall something that didn't work out, or to see a past version of yourself you used to be

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

sometimes I go through periods w/ my art where I think I'm a hack & I have no talent But then I look at something I made for a client & I'm like "what the hell.. I'm great at what I do.." it's weird because I'm so used to focusing on what I can't do that I forget sometimes what I CAN do

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I know that cheating is one of those things that everyone has a different opinion on, but to me it's an instant dealbreaker & a relationship-extinction event. I could never forgive cheating. It's like Letterkenny "If they cheat, it's over" I'm forgiving of a lot but that's my hard line

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

not every straight guy likes women w/ huge boobs. I know some people think that but it's not true I personally prefer smaller-to-average size chest. My dream lady is like, a latina w/ a big butt & small chest. (No shade to big boobs they're just not for me)

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

it's okay if the thing that keeps you going when you're sad is small right now 1 of the things keeping me going is that I might one day meet & date a woman with a cute layered bob cut, which is the *sexiest* woman's haircut to me whatever keeps us moving forward, that's okay

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

had to block an artist on instagram. They seemed nice but their artwork was of Big Bang Theory fanart & I'm sorry but I just can't risk getting jump-scared w/ anything even tangentially related to Chuck Lorre I hate Chuck Lorre, BBT was sexist, racist, ableist. I want nothing to do w/ it

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

i know I've had a tough year, but in some weird small way I can't explain I feel a small, faint, tiny ember of hope Maybe.. just maybe out in the world there is some sweet, loving, compassionate woman out there for me.. Maybe the simple idea of "maybe" is a start..

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

also, w/ the idea of dating, there are so many horror stories I've read about Like the thought of meeting a woman & we start dating & what if she does a "loyalty test" I hate that idea & yet there's no way to screen for it; there's no way to prevent it. You just gotta accept it MIGHT happen..

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

when you are severely burned out on life, how do you make it so that you have the ability to want to put yourself out there again? Because I know my love life will only improve if I put myself out there again but I just have zero desire to do that if I'm being honest. I'm .. exhausted

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

lately having fun designing middle aged furries...

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

saw a comment online from a lady bemoaning "Is physical attraction really the end-all-be-all to a guy?" (meaning, straight guys, can't you just marry/date a lady you're not attracted to??) Sorry, but I'd rather die. Wanting my future gf to find me attractive (& vice-versa) is Normal, Actually.

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

still in my "too burned out to care anymore" stage w/ dating I'm burned out. There's a lot of onus on men to do all this crap to prove why you're worth dating & to not give her the ick, & frankly it's exhausting After awhile it feels like "Dance monkey, dance". I'm tired 🫠

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"Why am I upset??" asks Man who voluntarily read things online he knew would upset him

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

saw this lady on Insta going on about how men have "picking privilege", & that any man can go up to "any woman" & ask her out & the woman "will be so flattered & happy" I'm not a misogynist at all but, that lady's claim has not matched my lived experience as a straight man who has dated women

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

just realized I never blocked my previous employer's account on my main. Yeah, I hit block so fucking fast, let me tell you

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

there's this cute goth lady on Instagram whose butt is huge & almost looks like it was inflated 😍 my goal is to 1 day have a gf who has that same kind of butt might sound small to some but it genuinely keeps me going some days, like I'm an RPG character on a mission "Love Quest: Big Butt Hunt"

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

ever since my twin pointed out how my older brother used to do this weird laugh that sounded like a bird, "ah HAAA... ah HAAA", I have been randomly laughing every 30 minutes remembering it it became an instant non-stop joke between us. All day at various points 1 of us would be like AH HAA! 😆

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

something that always weirds me out in the alt community are split tongues. Like hey if you want to do that more power to you I guess, but it reminds me of a lizard & weirds me out, so 🤷‍♂️ (in general, i'm not a huge fan of body mod stuff like that )

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I sometimes see dating advice where a guy dates a woman who is beautiful, then realizes there's no chemistry and/or some other problem, & then says "Well, looks aren't EVERYthing" and the solution is to date someone you're not attracted to I'm sorry but I'm not dating someone I'm not attracted to

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

as someone who was raised to be very polite, well, as an adult I sometimes feel like Daisy does in this comic It's not that I yearn to be cruel or mean, but more like always being nice to everyone is sometimes exhausting, especially when not everyone is nice to me

Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

long-furred collie oc, Marzy, bottomless🐶

colored sketch of Marzy, a long-furred collie woman wearing on a top and shoes, & nothing else

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Plush Rush @plushrush.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

i sometimes remember how my ex just could not handle the furry art thing. Like at all. But, I'm trying to reframe it as "1 woman in the world couldn't handle my interest in furry stuff; that does not mean that ALL women will feel that way" Lady furries do exist after all..