Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 3hhey I get it we need to take power back but you’re about to knock my drink over 030
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026thank you for this, was worried I was capable of an original thought 060
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Josh Allen runs like an animal that escaped from zoo 030
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026cocktail recipes are so dumb like why am I putting in all this other stuff that won’t get me drunk 160
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026A Rouge AI just rolled 10d6 on Stoke of Luck and hacked my smart toilet 050
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 26/09/202620 likes then 15 likes then 5 Solidarity for like a sec 060
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026ACTUAL IDEA: some altruistic billionaire should patent all the most harmful and destructive ideas and then never do shit with them 091
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026if anyone asks you to do something work just be like “can’t right now I’m in the ZONE” and they will 100% leave you alone 050
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 23/09/2026when you’re in a meeting and find out that Oracle fucked you and your prize for that privilege is 37.42 1153
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 23/09/2026OLD: show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are NEW: show me the ads you get served and I'll tell you who you are 050
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026need a favor: can one of you claim that you saw me read a book this past year 470
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026A guy who likes creampies just pulled out of Ed Sheeran’s tour 070
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 12/09/2026the proper way to honor 9/11 is to install a cpu where the twin towers were 0200
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 12/09/2026*four minutes into leaving a voicemail* "...so I need my dog back. You need to give my dog back. He is my special baby. My. Dog. I need you to give Mr. Muff-" 0100
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 11/09/2026there is nothing more humbling than having to take a specific dish you need out of a dirty dishwasher and washing it by hand 092
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026AI has one practical use: To generate a video of Andre The Giant blasting a cig in one pull 1100
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026hell yeah a new season of football commercials repeated for 18 weeks 170
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026hey babe do you know where the $3,000 in our checking account went me: 1110
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026as a kid I used to think that if you had a dream about someone, they had a dream about you at the same time I guess what I’m asking is did the apocalypse dream about me last night 081
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 08/09/2026This Thursday I’ll be doing an AMA in court, hosted by the prosecuting lawyer 072
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I think the most attractive number is 6 Freaks say 8 tho 160
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 05/09/2026you just don't hear about mogging or being mogged anymore 170
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 04/09/2026When i was 22 on saint patty’s day I covered the first round of drinks for the whole group No one bought the group drinks after that Anyway, this is billionaires not paying taxes 090
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Those ten seconds before you post some super racist shit 070
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Make A Wish at an amusement park where the recipient wants to ride every coaster They show up: It’s the Six Flags guy. In Hospice All the Make A Wish people are thinking..is he gonna get up and dance to the song or nah 170
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 01/09/2026trying to buy a play doh set for a kid, and hey check out their official and super normal site 0103
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 29/08/2026when you’re talking about fictional characters dying of AIDS and your one friend is like 1101
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Welcome to Heaven. You can ask God one question. Me: Why do I sometimes get logged out of websites for no reason 050
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Republicans: We’re killing everyone who isn’t white and enacting marshal law Dems: 050
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 21/08/2026LEVEL UP! Please choose: Adult Braces (+2 teeth) OR Adult Circumcision (-5 foreskin) OK CANCEL 040
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Just got a Nigerian scam email stating I inherited $10 million, and it felt quaint in today's world Almost comforting in the hellscape of today 040
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026go into your bosses' office and tell him you are raising your price 030
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026it's wild that my landlord is the same guy who got bill cosby cancelled 010
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026operator: 911 what’s your emergency ice agent: i tried to jerk off with the electricity gloves and i need urgent medical assistance 070
Phil Lorigo @plorigo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026someone make a site where I can just opt out of everything now and forever you can just have all my data just make it all stop 050
