Sign in

Hamburglar Humblebrag

@plantpotonassis.bsky.social
341 followers 318 following 5K posts

Carer who likes gardens, wildflowers, guinea pigs, cats, supernatural fiction and films where Nicolas Cage finds a treasure map.

PostsRepliesMedia
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Apple TV show the same trailer before everything, regardless of how far it is from anything I've watched. Me: lines up another existential drama so physically & thematically dark it can only be viewed while cocooned in a blanket. Apple TV: RYAN REYNOLDS PLAYS AN ERASER IN PENCIL CASE: THE MOVIE!
121
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I love haunted houses above every other story type, & this novel, which I've just read for the 4th or 5th time, is about the best haunted house tale of all. It's nuanced & ambiguous & beautifully written; set in a precisely potent moment of history, with a narrator who sees far less than we do. 💯
The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters
140
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Thread of all the stories and the poll - last day for voting! Vote early and vote often (if you like, I don't mind)
002
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Screaming into the void: a friend, having recently finally divorced her abusive husband of 20 years, has pretty much immediately moved an emotionally abusive cocklodger into the home she shares with her two teenage daughters. He's acting king of the roost & negging them all & I am DISMAYED...
220
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Baby donkey, born near here. Baby donkey!
A tan mother donkey and her beautiful sandy/cream baby.
250
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
@kingtubby.bsky.social you people disgust me
140
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I was telling a pal about the capybara that's still on the lam - www.marwell.org.uk/samba-update/ - and she misunderstood and thought there was a capybara living on The Lamb - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_(i... - so I guess I accidentally invented a local cryptid again.
marwell.org.uk
Samba Updates | Marwell Zoo
Stay up to date with all the latest news on the search for Samba the capybara, including a timeline of events and FAQs.
110
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Dreamt I got a new cat and named him Sherbet Norris.
230
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Ooh can I join the school assembly reminiscing? 1. First day of high school. Introductory assembly. Mr Steel on the stage says to us 'I don't know this hymn; you'll have to learn it to me' & I thought 'the deputy head of this place not knowing the verb to teach can NOT be a good sign'. (it wasn't.)
173
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Yogi Bear & Smokey the Bear must be siblings. They both: a) rock hats, b) walk upright & c) exalt the American forest (albeit one from the perspective of fire prevention and the other of picnic theft). I reckon they're rivalrous brothers like Luke Cage & Diamondback, Cane & Abel, Zig & Zag.
120
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Watched The Descent (2005) again and it remains a really sweet 23-minute short film about young women supporting each other and enjoying the countryside.
030
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Train trip from Manchester to Edinburgh. The first dog sat across from me until Penrith, the second dog from Carlisle to Waverley. #dogs #trains #traindogs #dogtrains #drains #togs
Pensive bull terrier type pooch Philosophical wee terrier guy
062
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Every part of central Manchester has 293 towerblocks that weren't there when I checked last week* * twenty years ago
Collage of images featuring recent high rise buildings.
170
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The hotel I'm staying in has free copies of the New York Times but I find it riddled with unforgivably basic errors. It's spelled Dogtanian, guys, and it's spelled Muskehounds, and the year was 1981.
D'artagnan, a mentor and confidant to Louis XIV and the captain-lieutenant of his Musketeers of the Guard, was most famously fictionalized in "The Three Musketeers" in 1844.
2120
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Pomegranate?
A pomegranate shop that sells nothing but pomegranates and possibly represents the greatest number of aggregated pomegranates currently on UK soil.
001
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Salford office building - largest planted wall in Europe, apparently.
Urban scene featuring a road with queuing traffic, street signage and a tall green building
040
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
When my (autistic, at the time not fully verbal) son was 3, he bolted out of sight on a walk and the 20 minutes he was missing for are without doubt the very worst of my life. Little Noah's family must be in agony. Please be found.
030
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Cursed? Goodness, Carruthers, don't tell me you set any store by the primitive superstitions of the local peasantry! Why, my spell at Black Shuck Manor will bring naught but the intellectual diversion of perusing old manuscripts, and the bracing fresh air of the fens.
011
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Poll: Favourite Story this week
microwrites.wordpress.com
Poll: Favourite Story this week
102
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
dis-ease, by Evie Ephraims I don't know when I first realised that the whole situation was causing me to feel...a way. I remember a vague sense of pretending it's fine. Especially with friends at dinner. Swatting away the concerned looks on their faces. I also remember the feeling I had when Trey…
microwrites.wordpress.com
dis-ease, by Evie Ephraims
I don't know when I first realised that the whole situation was causing me to feel...a way. I remember a vague sense of pretending it's fine. Especially with friends at dinner. Swatting away the concerned looks on their faces. I also remember the feeling I had when Trey came home from work and I was still in the bath. Hearing the key in the door and the heavy footfall of work boots on the wooden floor - that immediate tensing as you steel your body again.
033
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Dust to Dust, by Thom Willis The half-light of the hall was crowded with dust and memory, ghosts we breathed in. We spoke in shuttered voices of funeral arrangements but nobody was dead. Nobody was dead but everybody was ill. The place reeked of it, illness, of disinfectant and bodies working…
microwrites.wordpress.com
Dust to Dust, by Thom Willis
The half-light of the hall was crowded with dust and memory, ghosts we breathed in. We spoke in shuttered voices of funeral arrangements but nobody was dead. Nobody was dead but everybody was ill. The place reeked of it, illness, of disinfectant and bodies working against themselves. Every exhalation in that place was anticipation, every inhalation a reprieve, just long enough for the next breath.
032
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Your Mum, by Jess Mersky It’s easy, isn’t it, to yell fat bitch at some kid’s mum from the window of a moving schoolbus, your triumph of opinion dopplering forward into the future from the perspective of thereceiver; even easier to repeat it in the heat of an argument with her child, who then…
microwrites.wordpress.com
Your Mum, by Jess Mersky
It’s easy, isn’t it, to yell fat bitch at some kid’s mum from the window of a moving schoolbus, your triumph of opinion dopplering forward into the future from the perspective of thereceiver; even easier to repeat it in the heat of an argument with her child, who then storms offto get Their Mum so you can try to say it to her face; so, so easy to deliver a message twice…
121
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
The Best of Times, by Andrew Shilcock "It sits on a shelf in the dining room of the house, along with other souvenirs and trinkets from the lives being rounded out in this house. It doesn’t look like much, but amongst other things it carries memories of a working life dedicated to making the very…
microwrites.wordpress.com
The Best of Times, by Andrew Shilcock
"It sits on a shelf in the dining room of the house, along with other souvenirs and trinkets from the lives being rounded out in this house. It doesn’t look like much, but amongst other things it carries memories of a working life dedicated to making the very worst things that a person can make. It’s a mug, nothing special about that, a mug hand thrown on a potter’s wheel, made from clay from the banks of the Columbia river.
022
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Black Hole, by Helen Carlye It fell out of her ear at 5.27 on Wednesday. There was a rustling noise, loud and internal, then a brief blare of pain followed by fast liquid warmth and a pop. She caught sight of it falling, surely too big for a human ear to hold - but as soon as it hit the platform…
microwrites.wordpress.com
Black Hole, by Helen Carlye
It fell out of her ear at 5.27 on Wednesday. There was a rustling noise, loud and internal, then a brief blare of pain followed by fast liquid warmth and a pop. She caught sight of it falling, surely too big for a human ear to hold - but as soon as it hit the platform it was kicked on by the stride of a man walking past and went flying over the platform edge to be lost on the dark tracks below.
012
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
OK! LET'S DO IT!! INCOMING!!!
001
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Sacred geometry.
A church steeple behind a courtyard paved and decorated with hexagonal flagstones. There's a mural on the wall at the rear and a bookshop to the right.
071
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Dunno if you've been keeping up with under-5 literature but someone in this café is reading a recent Julia Donaldson out loud to a baby, & it references multiple other JD books e.g. Snail & the Whale, Room on the Broom, Zog; turns out the Gruffaloverse is huge, interlinked & coherent like the MCU.
140
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
New (old) coffee table.
Pale wooden coffee table in our living room, being sniffed by Ivy the cat.
3100
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
microwrites prompt, September 5th 2026 Everyone remember where they were It's back and it's smaller than ever! See the previous post for the general outline, this is just for the prompt. There it is. Sorry it's so horrible! Now go! Fly! Write 100-500ish words and send them to me by the end of next…
microwrites.wordpress.com
microwrites prompt, September 5th 2026
Everyone remember where they were It's back and it's smaller than ever! See the previous post for the general outline, this is just for the prompt. There it is. Sorry it's so horrible! Now go! Fly! Write 100-500ish words and send them to me by the end of next Friday! We shall reconvene then! Love you, byeeeee!
014
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
'Grief's a lonely war' - what a quote. Floored me a bit. Spoken by Wolverine in an X Men cartoon of all things.
010
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
microwrites (rebirth era) @microwrites.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Formal announcement of "we're so back"
wp.me
Microwrites returns
It’s back – in Pog form! Well, we’ve had some ups and downs over the years, eh? But ultimately microwrites is about writing. Small amounts of writing, for preference. I started th…
032
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Little trip to the Isle of May today.
Collage of images of a rocky island with several lighthouses.
160
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
A doorway under a dual carriageway. I like to imagine it's a portal to something mysterious & other, even though it's probably just a storage room for boring road stuff.
A set of concrete steps leading up to a metal door set immediately below a bridge carrying a dual carriageway.
140
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Isn't this a beautiful shot/sequence? From the BBC's 1975 adaptation of MR James's The Ash-tree.
Photo of a TV screen showing a film in which two figures in black walk across a crop field with the sea behind them shot in such a way that it appears to be the sky and its waves lines of cloud.
010
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
When your car has a service and they tighten the handbrake = vaginoplasty for drivers.
100
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Remember that period of about 2 months in about 1991 when monks chanting over a chill dance beat was tout la rage in the charts?
150
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Don't you hate it when you're adopted by your elderly cousin & you enjoy the luxuries of his mansion & the kindness of his bluff servants but then it turns out he wants to cook your heart & drink it with port to gain eternal life & only the intercessions of dancing ghost children can save you?
020
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Lil frog in a barrel in an abandoned allotment.
Small brown amphibian in a plastic barrel that is full of stagnant water but has wooden offcuts floating in it that the lil guy can perch on.
030
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Twenty five years ago, Bolton Wanderers had a dream season start. (Things changed after September 11th, as they did in a lot of other, arguably more important, ways.)
Bolton Wanderers winning their first three league games and drawing the fourth, and winning a league cup game. The rest of the season did not live up to this hot start, with the exception of an away victory at Old Trafford in October.
110
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Just heard that my son achieved his Grow & Learn Award from the Royal Caledonian Horticultural Society, in recognition of many hours of learning gardening skills at a lovely inclusive community garden. He also got a 100 hours of volunteering award from the local Rotary. thecaley.org.uk/grow-learn/
thecaley.org.uk
Grow & Learn Awards
Visit the post for more.
2110
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
Russell Parker @pussellrarker.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Honourable mention to the North Sea coast
“bringing some rain along the Nazi ghost”
010722
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
nestra.bsky.social @nestra.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
This should be recirculated like Tom Holland.
615861
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
We've all met one but I had no idea they could be constructed on demand.
Knitting pattern titled how to make Strange Little Man.
040
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Surprised and impressed that 70 years ago a TV show for deaf children was aired. You don't think of disability inclusion when you think of 1957.
071
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Tree emerging from the chimney stack like smoke.
A tree that must be about 5 feet high has seeded itself on top of the chimney stack of an old building on a commercial street.
030
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
My world is rocked as I hear the word 'antimacassar' said aloud for the first time & realise I've been pronouncing it wrongly in my head through all the stories I've ever read that feature 19th/20th century sitting rooms.
310
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
'Please could you activate the Deathstar? X' [It's what we call our tumble drier which is a dark hulking behemoth]
010
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
My elder kid, who is a country mouse at heart & not fond of metropolii, is having to get used to urban public transport in advance of starting uni, & I'm having to reassure them that Edinburgh Waverley is the worst designed railway station in Britain & anything else will be easier to use.
230
Reposted by Hamburglar Humblebrag
Andy @eastlothianhare.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Four baby hares in the rain last night. One snap here of something very rarely ever seen by the human eye. 😍🐇 🐣 ☔ ☔
A leveret bouncing A pretty big leveret attempting to suckle it's mother. A solitary hare, rained on at a field edge. A wet and damp leveret
13312
Hamburglar Humblebrag @plantpotonassis.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Someone's put the archer statue in Musselburgh in a lovely cardigan.
Metal statue of a human figure posed as though drawing a bow and arrow. He's been dressed in a nice knitted cream cardie.
042