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Philip Michaels

@philipmichaels.bsky.social
923 followers 98 following 7K posts

This gun for hire if you need someone who can write pretty and make other people write pretty. Here, I mostly just talk about sports and movies and whatever's grinding my gears at the moment.

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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 24m
Now she gets to spend more time with her family, telling them she's a lawyer.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 1h
Sports commentators – and more than a few fans — possess the object permanence of infants.
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Reposted by Philip Michaels
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 14h
By the transitive property, now the Brewers are ruining baseball.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14h
Me (quietly): Moral rot... moral rot The rest of the waiting room (growing increasingly louder): Moral rot! Moral rot!
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14h
Red Sox out, Yankees out, Dodgers out -- we are one "John Fisher mauled by wolverines" headline away from this being the greatest postseason evs.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15h
“Sweeney Todd Jr.“ coming this fall to City Children’s Theater
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 21h
Final day of eating the leftover party sub.
Homer and the diseased remnants of a party sub
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 22h
The "I ain't reading all that" meme, but for movies.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
A joyous Peter Farrelly celebrates at the Oscars with Liberty Biberty. "We never could have made Green Book without Liberty Biberty's insights," he says.
Peter Farrelly holds aloft his Oscar for Green Book, a terrible movie. Liberty Biberty is there too.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Full sicko mode: Ha ha ha ha… YES
More Plaschke: Namely, it wasn't a sellout.
How can an NCS game in the most perpetually crowded baseball stadium in America not sell out?
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Everything I could have hoped for!
Plaschke in the LA times: Blessed with an opportunity to step up and make history, the Dodgers backed down.

Soon to be knocked out.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Plaschke column accusing the Dodgers of moral turpitude dropping in 5.... 4... 3...
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Back in the day, they would even have the local yokel announcers split World Series duties. In 1972, NBC put Monte Moore and Al Michaels in the booth with Curt Gowdy.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Twenty-five years ago yesterday, Liberty Biberty urged Jeremy Giambi not to slide.
Liberty Biberty watches as Jeremy Giambi is tagged out in Game 3 of the 2001 ALDS against the Yankees
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
There ain’t no party like a Ben Verlander Watch Party Because a Ben Verlander Watch Party ain’t watching Justin
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
A true artist signs their work.
Joey Votto making an "eh" face while Aaron stares knowingly
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
<Letterman at the Oscars voice>Diddy... Dudus. Dudus... Diddy.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
WhY aRE ThERe EMpTy seAts aT tHIs PLaYoFf gAMe
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
What is insurance if not the fleeting promise of peace in our time, eh, Liberty Biberty?
Neville Chamberlain waving the Munich Agreement as Liberty Biberty looks on.
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Reposted by Philip Michaels
Jason Snell @snell.zone · 14/10/2026
Forgive me, but I needed to start this story by explaining why the Walkman was revolutionary, why CDs struggled to replace the Walkman, and how they invented the MP3 with the help of Suzanne Vega's voice.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
If only Oedipus showed that kind of restraint, Sophocles has a much shorter play.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Hell of a way for me to learn that Master of Puppets is just a song about a guy who's really into puppetry.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
"I told Elon to make the gesture," Liberty Biberty boasts when he thinks the microphone is switched off.
Elon Musk making a Nazi salute while Liberty Biberty looks on approvingly
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Are you ready for some football? Oh, well, that's unfortunate, because it's the main topic in my free newsletter this week. But I write about other stuff, too. get-your-phil-newsletter-ccdfef.beehiiv.com/p/get-your-p...
get-your-phil-newsletter-ccdfef.beehiiv.com
Get Your Phil
Volume 1, Issue 35
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Before he began telling the world about Liberty Mutual's insurance offerings, Liberty Biberty handled security for the Stones at Altamont.
Rolling Stones perform at Altamont. Liberty Biberty's head is on a Hell's Angel.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
What is Schlemiel, Schlimazel but the Fo' Shizzle of 1950s Milwaukee?
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney youtu.be/IAnecJl_Z1A?...
youtu.be
Laverne and Shirley Opening Credits and Theme Song
YouTube video by Steven
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
"Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds." -- Robert Oppenheimer "Same, my brother, same." -- Liberty Biberty
Liberty Biberty, advising Robert Oppenheimer on how to make the atomic bomb even deadlier
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Today's apparently the day that all the jobs I applied to so long ago I had actually forgotten about them are writing to let me know that I'm unemployable, so thanks for that ego boost, fellas.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I’m not weird, it’s the rest of you who need to get your act together.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Withholding judgment until I see who’s cast as Switek and Zito.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
But whose house, though?
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Liberty Biberty, no! This is terrible advice for parents!
A movie poster for Pasolini's Salo, with Liberty Biberty hailing it as "Family Fun!"
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
It’s not a postseason to me until Bill Plaschke starts to decry the inability of the Dodgers to win every game they play in.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Listen, everyone's entitled to their own politics; I just don't think Liberty Biberty should be attending campaign rallies like this one. Very unprofessional.
Liberty Biberty in the crowd at a Trump rally
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
During the Dust Bowl, Liberty Biberty would sidle into migrant camps and say, "Hey, you gonna finish that?" before trying to sell weary workers insurance. Read the room, Liberty Biberty!
Migrant Mother photo with Liberty Biberty
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
The Watergate Complex, June 17, 1972: Liberty Biberty skulks outside, keeping a watchful eye for cops on behalf of his friends Howard Hunt and G. Gordon Liddy.
Liberty Biberty outside of the Watergate complex
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
To do my part to make the world a better place, I will periodically post photos of Liberty Biberty present at the Great Tragedies of Human History so as to bully Liberty Mutual into dropping this accursed character from its ads. Here is Liberty Biberty smiling as the Hindenburg explodes.
Liberty Biberty present -- and possibly responsible for -- the Hindenburg Disaster
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
This party sub has failed to ignite the festive atmosphere that its name promised.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Remains of the Party Sub is the most haunting Merchant-Ivory picture, imo
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
My daughter and her associates used our house as the staging grounds for Homecoming Dance prep, which meant we had to feed the little darlings. That’s why today’s lunch is the remains of various party subs.
Local goof eats leftover party sub
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Reposted by Philip Michaels
christi @christikf.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
FINALLY
sign that says “something for men, boots, hats, belts, wallets”
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Just purposefully eating watermelon like a normal person. All my friends are here, too, enjoying watermelon in the same way, just outside the picture frame.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Relief pitchers who don’t throw strikes should stand trial.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
“We used Google Cloud to confuse correlation with causation!” — those MLB/Google Gemini ads, essentially
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
<dog turns to look purposefully at TV set>
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
The safety word is "Gauuuuhh, my throat!"
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I still occasionally sing the 40-plus year old Hometown Heroes jingle for Oakland A's broadcasts on TV44 (🎵Cable 12!🎵) and will continue to do so even after my daughter sticks me in a home.
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I found 20 things to check out in iOS 27, and honestly, the one about getting Siri to answer my questions about recipes is an A+ addition. www.tomsguide.com/phones/iphon...
tomsguide.com
20 smart iOS 27 features that will make your life easier — and how to use them
You'll save time for sure
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Philip Michaels @philipmichaels.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I am all for websites getting all the revenue they can, especially if it lets them to continue to offer cool things for free. But that magnanimous spirit evaporates quickly if it comes at the expense of me being able to use your site as intended. (This is also directed at Sporcle.)
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