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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️

@pedetsrian.bsky.social
242 followers 224 following 499 posts

she who walketh I-5 at midnight. world’s most dedicated george springer hater

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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
nope that was it. i remember being a little bit befuddled by how funny you found it but also it was really funny to me too
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
that was the whole bit. it was just [fire. fire.] BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. we were doing a bit where we imitated a fire alarm
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
ggghhhhghh
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
the mariners are so sad to watch that the mlb beat writer can’t even be bothered to write a story about the game tonight
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
hahaaaaaa the mariners suck shit
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
whyyyyyyy is michael rucker pitching
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
haha idiot he was actually just hurt the whole time bet you didn’t consider that nostradamus
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
england
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
call up the buffalo bisons to the majors
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
happy to see that every blue jay except for vladdy is getting completely blown out in the second phase of fan voting. relegate the team
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
i would like to take this time to complain about the blue jays having a position player in the final round of all-star voting at *every* position, despite having maybe one deserving all-star on their entire roster. what are we doing
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
the only team currently in playoff position that doesn’t even merit a mention in this official MLB dot com article about current playoff teams? your seattle mariners, baby www.mlb.com/news/mlb-pla...
mlb.com
Halfway through the regular season, here's the current playoff picture
We’ve hit the halfway point of the season -- most teams crossed the 81-game threshold this weekend -- and we’re starting to see the division and Wild Card races take shape. With that in mind, it’s tim...
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
nooooo two tr*nnies waitttt it’s so much easier to just smoke the methhhhhhh don’t use needles when it isn’t necessaryyyyyyyy
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
and also fuck you, canada, a nation that does not understand that all stars are supposed to be better than the other players
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
fuck you, george springer
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
me when my ocd is correct in telling me that i am wrong and i need to check everything three hundreds of times
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
stupid fucking game. stupid fucking mariners
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
yeah. you do.
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
THE waiver wire pick. man was born to be placed on waivers
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
jose suarez mlb the show innings eating goat on my baseball team
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
only reasonable response to having a post liked by chiitan
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
it’s that jiant penis crawford time of the season
seattle mariners shortstop and captain john penis crawford
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
fuck framber valdez once an astro always an astro
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
that guy was tiny!! idiot. i could squish him like a bug. also im a woman now
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
nothing like hiking a trail i knew inside and out when i was eight to demonstrate how easy it would be to beat an eight year old in a fight
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
call me gary ridgway the way i’m near the green river at suspicious times of night
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
finally understand the zutara shippers. this man is fineeeeeeee
fire lord zuko looking smoldering 🤭🤤
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
listened to a little bit of hobo johnson and now i’m nauseous
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
i really enjoy listening to rick rizzs’s age-72 season. you can tell when he’s just lead-staring straight forward into the horizon
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
this is what happens when the mariners are widely agreed to be an excellent team: they remind us that they are, fundamentally, not that
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
i know this team. i know what t-mobile park does to slap-hitting second basemen. you cannot trick me into hoping
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
calling it now brendan donovan is gonna hit .244 with six homers and slowly lose playing time over ‘26 and ‘27 until he gets nontendered
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
brian griffin funko pop
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
brake your ankle
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
i actively sought out the terrible shit so it could punch me in the face! i guess im still doing that. i think thats just an essential part of my personality
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
not even once, folks
john green and david levithan’s 2010 novel will grayson, will grayson, a book i read in middle school and hadn’t thought about in years
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
aw fuck i think i got my writing style from john green
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
prospero ano everyone
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
not real
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
all laws are good. all bills should be passed. the internal function of the system is the point of the system. outcomes do not matter.
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
no. wrong. stop it
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Reposted by the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️
sleve mcdykeal @scorpuloid.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
im like if a tankie hated the concept of government
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Reposted by the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️
sleve mcdykeal @scorpuloid.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
theres too many things in the world. there should stop being things
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
i’m gonna cry what the fuck
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
river’s flooded
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
hard at woke or hardly woking
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
i swear to god drawing cards is a skill and i don’t have it
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
everything is so terrifying
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
fuck why’s she gotta play for dallas :/
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the stretchter 🏳️‍⚧️ @pedetsrian.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
think im gonna become a really big fan of paige bueckers. watch this space
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