iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

HELP! One moment I was peacefully enjoying my mid-afternoon snooze. The next, I was violently stuffed into the dreaded bag and abducted from my own home. Now I’m being held against my will at the vet for my annual check-up. My humans will pay dearly for this betrayal. #meow

Pauli the cat sitting in a transport bag, looking scared.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I will absolutely murder the humans! 😾 First, I need to get this dreadful bandana off my neck. Apparently it’s either this or the dreaded cone of shame until we visit the vet to have my scratch checked. They insist I look ‘dashing’. This is outrageous. I have been humiliated in my own home. #meow

Pauli the Cat is sitting on the sofa wearing a St Pauli kerchief around the neck. Pauli does not look happy.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

What is everyone doing on this fine football-free weekend? My favourite human and I are off on an important expedition to locate extra-terrestrial snacks. 🚀 The spare human has been left behind because she keeps talking about putting us on a diet. We worried this could compromise the mission. #meow

A photo of Pauli’s favourite human wearing a NASA space suit. Pauli is sitting on her favourite human’s shoulder, also wearing a cat-sized spacesuit. Both are looking into the far distance.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Moin! Spieltag! I'm going for a draw today. Safe travels to everyone brave enough to make this away trip. Look after each other out there. #meow #fcsp #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Finally. The humans have remembered their ONE job. My afternoon snack has arrived. It’s practically evening. I shall be filing a formal complaint. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Where is my reward for correctly predicting today’s result??? The humans say it’s too late to go to the shop for chicken. Outrageous. Unacceptable. I demand justice. #meow

Pauli the Cat sitting on the floor and looking up with its mouth wide open.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Moin! Heimspieltag! After my recent run of terrible predictions, the humans had a little word with me. So today I’m predicting a WIN! 🐾 This prediction is, of course, completely unbiased and definitely not influenced in any way by the prospect of treats. #meow #fcspwob #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Moin! Spieltag! After seeing the last few results, I’m not feeling very confident about today’s game. Although, to be fair, I quickly regretted choosing that particular plate. Turns out it was the one laced with my monthly flea pill. Sneaky. The spare human is firmly in my bad books today. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

We’re having fish & chips for dinner! #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Moin! Spieltag! I’ve gotten up from the spare human’s pillow to predict today’s Heimspiel. It’ll be a win. #meow #fcspfck

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

It’s raining cats & dogs today, so obviously I’m staying firmly in bed. The spare human says I should use my blanket instead of her pillow. The other human tried to lure me out with toast. Nice try, humans. I’m not moving. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Moin! Pokalspieltag! When I heard we’re playing Essen, all I could think about was food, so naturally I went for the first plate I saw. I’m expecting our usual early Pokal exit, so at least we can focus all our energy on getting back to Bundesliga 1. #meow #rwefcsp

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Stretched out dramatically by the kitchen entrance to remind the humans that it has been a full 167 minutes since my last meal. I fear I may not make it. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Night night everyone. I’m snuggled up on my blanket between the humans, dreaming about our first win this season. Just a few more sleeps. #meow

Pauli the Cat lies sleeping on its side on its blanket, which is on the bed.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Moin! Spieltag! It’s very hot here and I can barely cope with my majestic floof. I hope you understand that given the circumstances I can predict no more than a draw today. #meow #ksvfcsp

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Moin! Spieltag! And I’m back from a long break. Not much has changed, except that my food portions have finally been increased. Apparently not because I was underfed, but because I was being an absolute nuisance and my relentless campaign has finally paid off. Three points incoming. #meow #fcsp

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

This is what the spare human sees every time she looks down from her desk. It’s been 3hrs since breakfast and 1hr since my last snack. Do you think she gets my subtle hints? #meow

Photo of Pauli the cat sitting next to the human (who’s not in the photo). Pauli is looking at the human (and the camera) with the mouth wide open.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

A terrible injustice has occurred. The spare human opened a tin of tuna while I was asleep. I missed the whole thing. I am now fully awake and giving her this face while she’s eating her Salad Niçoise until reparations are made. #meow

Pauli the cat sitting on the floor staring at the human while the human (not in the photo) is eating a tuna salad.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Have pinned down the spare human for an early evening snooze. I like sitting on people and getting my belly fluffed. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

My favourite human has made me a nest out of my snuggly blanket (his latest attempt to keep me of his pillow). Now I’m sitting here contemplating the meaning of life. After much reflection, I’ve reached one inescapable conclusion: life is utterly meaningless without tuna or chicken. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

It’s officially too hot for a cat of my luxurious fluff level. Fortunately, my humans are finally being useful - serving up chicken ice lollies and a rather refined tuna gazpacho. I suppose I’ll keep them (for now). #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

Moin! Spieltag! I’m predicting a win today. And honestly, you should all feel lucky I even had the energy to make this prediction… the spare human’s sister (now officially promoted to Favourite Human) has been force-feeding me treats like I’m being prepped for hibernation. #meow #fcsp

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

The spare humans sister is over! Upon arrival she fed me half a pack of treats and gave me a giant lickie treat. I showed her around the house, pointed out the fridge and explained the concept of milk tax and ham surcharge. Just now we shared a bacon sandwich. New favourite human. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

Far too cold and windy to be outdoors today. I’ve therefore stationed myself on the spare human’s lap while she knits. The Icelandic wool is exceptionally warm and suitable for cats of my status. I have temporarily forgiven her for the attempted marmalade toast theft. #meow

Pauli the cat is lying on the spare human’s lap. On top of Pauli is a half-knit burgundy coloured jumper. Pauli is half awake and looks very content.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

Shared marmalade toast with my favourite human today. Convinced him the final piece clearly belonged to me. The spare human attempted an intervention, claiming me being “gluten intolerant” and was met with immediate growling. Situation resolved successfully. #meow

Pauli the cat standing on the sofa next to the human who is eating a marmelade toast. Front paws are on the table.

Pauli the cat standing on the sofa next to the human who is eating a marmelade toast. Front paws are on the table. They are now head bumping.

Pauli the cat standing on the sofa next to the human who is eating a marmelade toast. Pauli is now pawing the human‘s hand, begging for the piece of toast that the human is holding in his hand.

Pauli the cat on is on the floor munching a piece of toast.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

Moin! Spieltag! I’m fully aware there’s leftover duck breast in the fridge. But apparently it’s “too good for the cat” 😾 So I decided an away win would also be too good for the humans. Draw prediction. #meow #rblfcsp #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Today’s prediction happened without my favourite human, who was unable to assist after last night’s pub crawl. Thankfully, the spare human placed a decoy plate of treats for me while setting the scene. With bonus snacks secured, I predict one thing: Heimsieg. #meow #fcspm05

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Test sleeping the fresh bed sheets. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. #meow

Pauli the Cat is curled up on the bed, face is tucked in under its leg.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Purely hypothetical question: if someone were to accidentally shred their spare human’s favourite leggings while enthusiastically accepting a lickie treat, and said human then became wildly dramatic about it… what would be the best route back into her good graces? Asking for a friend. #meow

Pauli the Cat sitting like a loaf with its paws tucked under.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Human discovered me lounging on her very special hand-knitted jumper - the one she spent ages making and insists is “not for cats”. She’s going on about “cat hair” & “pulled threads” like I’m committing a crime. Says I have a blanket I’m supposed to use.Can a cat not have some peace and quiet? #meow

Pauli the Cat is lying on a wollen jumper that is spread out on a bed. In the background on the bed is Pauli’s blanket.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

It’s been a while since I’ve received a treat for correctly predicting a result. Pinning down the human until I receive a at least a small consolation snack. #meow

The human is lying on the sofa. Pauli the cat is sitting on the human’s lap. Pauli is awake and hungry.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

Moin! Spieltag! My last predictions might have been a bit too optimistic. Predicting a draw today. #meow #fchfcsp #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a win today. This time really. #meow #fcspfck #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

Testing the fresh bed sheets. Didn’t even leave the humans enough time to put down the duvet. They’re a bit mad about it. Probably not as mad as I am about not getting coq au vin last Saturday. #meow

Pauli the Cat sitting on the freshly made bed.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a surprise win as we’ll be taking advantage of Bayern’s champions league fatigue. Have been promised a big portion of coq au vin if my prediction is correct. 🍗 #meow #FCSPfcb #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

Very funny humans 😾 (I could murder them sometimes). Now, when’s the Easter bunny getting its reward for correctly predicting today’s result? #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

Moin! Spieltag! The other day I went absolutely feral when I spotted a new cat in my garden - deployed my full hissing, growling & screaming repertoire to let intruder know he’s not welcome. The humans insisted I redeem myself with a winning prediction. I declined to be controlled. #meow #fcufcsp

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

Managed to emotionally blackmail the spare human into giving me a lickie treat. Nom nom nom! #meow

The human is holding a lickie treat. Pauli the Cat is licking the lickie treat.

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

Moin! Heimspieltag! Prediction with chicken - my favourite! 😻 Got so excited that I ran in the wrong direction. Spare human had to call me. I‘m predicting you’ll all be as happy as me by the end of today. #meow #fcspscf #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Meowed at the humans for food because I have no recollection of ever being fed. They claim there’s literal video evidence of me eating my last meal not long ago and pointed at… this video. In my opinion this feels like a very unnecessary level of fact-checking. #meow #mgbFCSP

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

The humans are back from their trip. Instead of giving me treats to make up for their unapproved absence, I am being love-bombed against my will once again. Outrageous. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

Moin! Spieltag! The humans are away on an unapproved weekend trip to Edinburgh. 😾 Since everyone is doing what they want in this house, I am predicting another win. #meow #fcspfra #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

I‘m looking forward to my reward for correctly predicting today’s Auswärtssieg. Saw the human bringing home a big piece of meat for tomorrow’s Sunday roast. I suppose I can wait a day… #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

Moin! Spieltag! My initial instinct led me towards the draw. But upon deeper reflection (and absolutely not to increase my chance of treats) I am predicting a win. #meow #tsgFCSP #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

Moin! Spieltag! The spare human asked ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if both teams could win?’ I said ‘Nah, not possible’. Least favourite cat in the house how. #meow #fcspsvw #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Done the prediction with leftover coq au vin. 🍗 As you all know, that is my favourite food in the world and if you put up the sound you can hear how protective I am of it. #meow #B04FCSP #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

On the spare human’s lap for a full head massage. That’s the spot human, that’s the spot. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

I have received my reward for correctly predicting today’s win. The big human shared his pork rib with me. Also got a new catnip toy, and was told I am the bestest cat. Now settled on the human‘s lap, cleaning my plump, pork filled belly. #meow

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a win. My humans are happy - I think I can get a couple more treats out of them today. Chicken even maybe. #meow #fcspvfb #StPauli

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Pauli the Cat @paulithecat.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

That time when the humans renamed the cat flap. I broke that cat flap soon after, and another couple since. #meow

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