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Patch Bohan

@patchbohan.bsky.social
1.2K followers 341 following 1.3K posts

I write screenplays. I listen to podcasts.

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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Playing the Wolverine game and I got to say I kind of wish there was a Mystique game.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Call me prudish but YES, fucking animals should be a disqualifier.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Massive congestion at airports but at least Sean Duffy let us all know he likes staring at Sydney Sweeney’s boobs.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
For the first time in history my phone actually autocorrected to “fuck” when I wanted to say “fuck.” There is hope for the world.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
There are few problems in life that can’t be solved with a quick google search.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
AI can’t understand sarcasm which is why it will never win.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
The Cluemaster puzzles are way easier than the Riddler puzzles and I feel like this was done on purpose.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
"She's beautiful. She's gorgeous!" *sees the Trump tattoo* "No thanks." *BLOCKED*
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
Never trust a news source that doesn’t know the difference between “two” and “too”
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Saw a picture of Tara Reid and I couldn't remember her name. So what film did I type into IMDB to remind me? American Pie? Van Wilder? Josie and the Pussycats? NO! Sharknado!!!
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Watching The Simpsons and something confuses me about Milhouse; Is Puppy Googoo real or a stuffed animal? Because sometimes he has a dog and sometimes he has a stuffed animal and they look EXACTLY THE SAME!
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Somebody tried to say “you must be a teacher” to me as if it were an insult. When did intelligence become a negative? When did we decide learning was bad?
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Anybody else remember Transmetropolitan? Yeah, we ain’t buying it.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Looking at a bunch of used books and saw a leather-bound notebook. Despite all the horror movies I've seen I picked it up. Sadly it was blank. . . . . I may be possessed by a demon now.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Quote post with something good that lasted longer than the Confederacy (1861-1865) Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999)
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a man wearing a star trek uniform and a baseball cap
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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Flour comes from a plant, sugar comes from a plant, and chocolate comes from a plant. So, basically a chocolate chip cookie is a salad. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
I'm curious about something; how much have hatchet sales increased since the latest Resident Evil game came out?
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
People who haven't committed a crime don't randomly give speeches saying they didn't commit a crime.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Every time I make fun of “Leon Tusk” I get some stupid bot asking me to join his fan club. Dude, I am MOCKING him. AI needs to learn insults.
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Pat G🇨🇦 🍁🏳️‍🌈🍉 @pguist.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
President INEPSTEIN 🚫👑
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Me blocking someone...
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a cartoon character is laughing with his eyes closed and his mouth open
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
Once the 2nd season of Starfleet Academy airs I am getting rid of Paramount+
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Anung Un Drama @space-ghost.com · 21/03/2026
If you’re feeling hopeless and terrified about politics you should watch Andor.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
Tried to comment on Instagram and it will let me say “fucking” but it won’t let me say “idiot.”
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Look I’m just saying, if Family Guy can reduce all three Lord of the Rings films into a six minute segment then there was no reason why The Hobbit had to be three movies.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
Leonardo Donatello Michelangelo Raphael
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
These are just good rules for life in general.
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 07/02/2026
The official posture of 2026: reclined acceptance - I stopped fighting reality and upgraded my lumbar support.
2026 poster
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
Watching Fallout and a trailer for Melania played. I have never extended my middle finger faster in my life.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
This “guy” on instagram is really upset I am insulting the parentage of ICE agents. But he’s kind of proving me right as well.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
When someone tries telling me I must not be a real Star Trek fan.
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a cartoon says keep it moving lower decks on the screen
ALT: a cartoon says keep it moving lower decks on the screen
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
My targeted ads are telling me I need tattoos and a new wallet. No thanks, I'm good.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Driving back from the grocery store and I see a bassinet strapped to the back of a truck and I think to myself “This is Florida. There’s a 50/50 chance that there’s still a baby in there.”
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
Folks as you pick up your family and friends from the airport this holiday season please remember that MTV's Sean Duffy can suck multiple giant bags of dicks. Like all the bags.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
Going into 2026 like...
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a cartoon of wile e coyote and bugs bunny standing next to each other .
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
A movie that takes place where you're from
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a cat is walking down a set of stairs with the word nyc written on the bottom
ALT: a cat is walking down a set of stairs with the word nyc written on the bottom
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
"I could smell the onions and mustard."
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a man with a beard is pointing a gun at something .
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
PSA: Do not use google maps in a Mall. It will not help you find your store, it will just take you to the Mall entrance.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
Watching Nightbeast and I am sure I have seen this monster design before, but not sure where.
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MemeStar Spooky @memestarspooky.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
Just watched a really good horror movie; House of the Long Shadows. Peter Cushing, Vincent Price AND Christopher Lee. Worth checking out.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
James Earl Jones reading the Raven is still one of the best Treehouse of Horror segments ever.
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Pierre Polyester @canadian-critic.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
This is my dance about how much transphobes suck.
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a group of soldiers in military uniforms are standing in a parking lot .
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
If you haven’t deleted your Disney+ The Simpsons are streaming all of the Treehouse of Horror episodes.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
On an unrelated note, please don't have sparklers at my funeral.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Jimmy Kimmel got pulled off the air for talking about Charlie Kirk. Wow. Imagine if he said something really offensive like giving lethal injections to homeless people. Can't imagine the punishment he'd be getting then. /s
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a man in a suit and tie is sitting on a couch with his legs crossed .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting on a couch with his legs crossed .
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
Just sitting in my room listening to a particular Queen song.
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Patch Bohan @patchbohan.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
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Yes Very Sad Anyway Loki Sad GIF
ALT: Yes Very Sad Anyway Loki Sad GIF
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