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Octopi Wall Street

@octows.bsky.social
105 followers 3 following 983 posts

8 arms. 1 siphon. 99%. May or may not be an actual octopus. Definitely not an official account of OWS.

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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 11h
Yikes, I wasn't paying attention. It's not Jair, but his son. It's as if the US was dumb enough to vote for Don jr. (which, tbh, I fully expect us to do sooner or later). Did Brazil look at the Philippines and go "Political dynasties are hot just now, why don't we get on board?"
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12h
Brazil proving that the US isn't the only nation dumb enough to re-elect the society-destroying fascist. Viktor Orbán must be rubbing his hands and muttering "My turn next, my pretties."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 17h
The joke is that the probability of ordinary Americans getting the promised $5000 check from Donald Trump is about the same as the probability of the US getting actual socialism, that is, so close to zero as makes no difference.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"We know you're not an ATM. An ATM only lets us take out $300 at a time, and we hope to get far more than that from you."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
When you think you're being really clever only to publicly shoot yourself in the foot in front of everyone, that's called being up Schmitt's creek.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The left-wing blogosphere is crowing over Eric Schmitt stepping on his own dick while attempting to "gotcha" Jack Smith. It doesn't matter. People on the right won't remember he got it wrong. They won't HEAR he got it it wrong. They heard an accusation & now, for them, that accusation is fact. 1/
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Would any member of the Trump Administration who is NOT a sex criminal, please raise their hand? Hmm. Thought as much. www.inkl.com/news/maga-fc...
inkl.com
MAGA FCC Chief Brendan Carr's Nine-Year 'Cultlike' AA Past Leaks Amid Teen Sexual Exploitation Claims
Brendan Carr was involved with Washington's Midtown AA group from his teens into his 20s. Former members allege coercive control and sexual exploitation, but there is no evidence Carr participated.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Maybe some pilots are indeed furries. But if you were to argue that being a furry disqualifies you from being a pilot, you might equally well argue that being the stupidest fucking person on the entire planet disqualifies you from being a US Senator, and I'm sure Sen. Tuberville would dispute that.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
MARA! (Make Atrocities Routine Again)
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"we have more munitions than we could ever think of using and we're making more" is certainly an interesting message. It would seem to imply that taxpayer money is not being spent effectively.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
When you make jokes about horse-fucking, Kash Patel will never hear it. But that friend of yours who fucks horses will.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
We should start an urban legend about “the curse of the Kennedy Center”, based on the idea that every president who’s had his name on the building has had his brains blown out by a sniper’s bullet. Then see how long it takes Trump to start insisting on renaming it “the Obama and Kennedy Center”.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Right, polio vaccine, yes, total fraud. That's why everywhere you look there are kids in iron lungs as a result of childhood polio infections. Wait, there aren't? Well, that's weird. I wonder why that is.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
There's never going to be a "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" moment with Trump, because he answered that question quite unambiguously, long ago.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"Lich McConnell, Senator for the Undead" would make a catchy title for a streaming video series.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I know it took three months, but I think we can all agree that the taxidermist who stuffed Mitch did an incredible job. Amazingly lifelike, and the animatronic elements are nearly undetectable.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Ted Cruz does have a point. For example, I recently told a number of people that on the morning of September 11th, I wrestled Godzilla to the ground and gave him an atomic wedgie, but it was 25 years ago and the details are a little blurry. It may not have happened exactly like that.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The only thing less surprising than the leopards coming for Milo Yiannopoulos's face is the revelation that Laura Loomer is a snitch. www.cnn.com/2026/08/28/u...
cnn.com
Right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos detained by ICE | CNN
Controversial British figure Milo Yiannopoulos, who gained a reputation as a right-wing provocateur more than a decade ago, has been detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the Department of ...
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Some people ask "If Donald Trump were a Russian asset, what would he do differently?" But you could equally well ask "If Donald Trump were a complete fucking idiot, what would he do differently?" In both cases, the answer is "Nothing", so asking the question isn't really that helpful.
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Reposted by Octopi Wall Street
Adam Bienkov @adambienkov.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Nigel Farage just took a question from a 'journalist' at his press conference, who turned out to be his former chief adviser Raheem Kassam, who asks him why the media are being so unfair to him
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
You know what? Maybe we should let him have his flying bordello after all. What's the worst that could happen?
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
How to survive the apocalypse: 1. Get a billionaire to build state-of-the-art bunker. 2. Get hired on their security force. 3. Convince them to hire your friends. 4. When apocalypse begins, kill/toss billionaires. 5. Invite your friends & family to move into bunker with you. 6. Wait out apocalypse.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Every time I think that this timeline (and this administration) cannot possibly get any stupider, I am proved wrong.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I won't believe Mitch McConnell is dead until I hear Donald Trump say he's alive.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Putin's probably watching the wave of sudden fatal illnesses striking down Republican politicians and thinking "What's the matter? Don't they have any windows in the US?"
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
People have a lot of harsh words for Donald Trump, but it’s worth remembering that he will one day do something that will make more people happy than any public figure before him, and that’s no small accomplishment.
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Reposted by Octopi Wall Street
Swamp Witch 🍂🌻 @beneathhergaze.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Y'all holy shit, everyone wished McConnell was dead so hard that Graham caught the strays
wjbf.com
Sen. Lindsey Graham dies after sudden illness, family asks for privacy
(WJBF) — The office of U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham says the South Carolina Republican has died following a brief and sudden illness. In a statement released Sunday, Graham’s office said he passed a…
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
With the death of Lindsay Graham and the suspected demise of Mitch McConnell, authorities have called on President Trump to open the nation's strategic schadenfreude reserves. "We've seldom seen this level of demand for schadenfreude," said one expert, "One more death could send us over the edge."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
So now Lindsay Graham's dead, who gets all the kompromat Trump apparently had on him? Is it just buried with him, or will it go in the Trump Presidential Library?
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
No one is more disappointed today than Satan, who came to collect Lindsay Graham's soul only to discover that he didn't have one.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Donald Trump is virtually brain dead in the White House, and Republicans are not merely content but determined to leave it that way indefinitely, so the McConnell case is certainly not without precedent.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
A credibly-accused sexual abuser dictating terms is pretty much where we're at in this timeline. Nothing says putting the needs of the people above your personal interests quite like "Do what I say, or I'll remain in the race and make sure Maine gets Susan Collins again".
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Pretty obviously, no one wants to open the box to find out if Mitch McConnell is alive or dead, so he will remain permanently in a superimposed state in which he is both alive and dead at the same time. Call it quantum physics, call it black magic, but it’s firmly on-brand for him.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
I think this means that the US is about to go to war with Belgium.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Reports that the Trump corruption machine allegedly celebrated America's 250th birthday by stealing donations intended for a national celebration are, perhaps, the least surprising news story of the decade.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
The Pope says he hopes JD Vance has "learned" from what he just did to the Society of Saint Pius X.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I think the question we're all asking is: how long before J.D. Vance rushes to join the Nazi-adjacent white supremacist schismatics and declares that they, not Woke Pope Leo, are the true heirs of St. Peter? By the sound of it, these are absolutely his kind of Catholics.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
"It's clearly wrong the candidates we backed didn't win. Something needs to be done about that." "Have you tried not sucking?" "Excuse me?" "Maybe if establishment Democrats weren't spineless & apathetic, the socialists wouldn't win. You could try to do better." "Yeah, that's not an option."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Not enough people understood that when Donald Trump said he'd run the country like one of his businesses, it was a threat, not a promise.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
One way or another, Trump's ballroom will never get built before his term ends, and he will leave the US with another perfect metaphor for his presidency: a hole in the ground half-filled with rubble where something much better once stood.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Vance: "Childless cat ladies" is one of the dumbest things I ever said. Everyone: Nope. Not even close.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
You know, between the child pornography, the Nazi salutes and this whole "instigating murderous fascist riots" thing, I'm starting to think that this Elon Musk guy might not be a very nice person.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
"So why aren't the Democrats … so why don't the Democrats …" Let me stop you right there. Whatever question you're asking, the answer is either "Because they don't want to anger their wealthy donors" or "Because they're afraid that the billionaire-owned media would criticize them for it."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
The house is on fire, but I'd like you all to take a minute to stop and admire my helicopter beanie. And look! The guy who poured gasoline through the mail slot and lit the match is wearing one too! We're beanie buds! So freaking cute!!!! xxx
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Reposted by Octopi Wall Street
Michael Clemens @mclem.org · 05/06/2026
Here is a definitive summary, by a group of Conservative jurists with integrity, of the facts in those 64 cases against our 2020 elections. The cases were a numb, cynical train wreck of falsehoods. Every judge threw them out of every court. Sixty four times. —> lostnotstolen.org
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
I don't know about you, but I am absolutely getting "the yips" at the thought that the United States is run by a man who is demonstrably, flagrantly insane. Or that there are apparently large numbers of people in the US who can read a screed like this and go "Yep, totally normal, no problem there."
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
I think it's clever of him to get an early start so he can beat the rush.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Look -- it's the Zuckerbarge!
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
More bad news today, as doctors reveal that cancer has been diagnosed with Pam Bondi.
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Octopi Wall Street @octows.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Why did they call it the Xi-Trump Summit, and not Pooh Bear vs. Pedo Bear?
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