iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

We have been informed that a mild breeze blew by and knocked out some power to some people. Please rest assured that this was completely preventable. We just couldn't be bothered....you know... paper work....long weekend

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

While you're sweating through your shirts, our grid is sweating under the pressure of maximum profitability. To help you conserve energy, we highly recommend cooling down by simply looking at your upcoming bill. That alone should send a massive chill down your spine!

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

While you’re using precious, premium electricity to do trivial things like "keep your milk cold" or "survive", soon, thanks to Dim Houston, a data centre can run24/7, just to generate hyper-realistic images of Pope Francis in a puffer jacket.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

It would be a real shame if someone... trapped those beautiful rays, slapped on a delivery fee, added a "solar distribution adjustment tax," and charged you by the kilowatt-hour just to keep your AC running. We're working on a subscription model for daylight as we speak

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Breaking News: We’re Ready for the Rain! 🌧️💰 Our advanced "Profit-Predictor 3000" shows a 100% chance of a light drizzle this evening. To ensure the safety of our shareholders’ dividends, we will be proactively cutting power to three entire counties at the first sight of a puddle.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

Just got off the phone with Dim Houston and he's gonna try and put a bill through to help us acquire the rights to the wind that blows across nova scotia. fingers crossed it passes due diligence.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 13/04/2026

The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, and, most importantly, the rate adjustments are officially sprouting! We know you’re itching to open those windows and enjoy the fresh air, but why settle for "free" oxygen when you could keep your HVAC running instead? #springblessings

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

Attention, valued revenue generators! We’ve checked the forecast, and it looks like Mother Nature is about to provide us with a "Mandatory Digital Detox." As the snow begins to fall, our crews are hard at work—not on the lines, obviously, but on polishing our "Weather Event" press release templates.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

Winter's almost over, but your debt is forever! Keep cranking the heat — our CEO needs a third yacht by April. Your shivering is just the sound of our rising stock price.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

A massive blizzard is heading our way! While you’re busy digging out your driveway, we’ll be busy digging through our "Emergency Infrastructure Fund" to see if we can find enough spare change to fix that one transformer that blows every time a squirrel sneezes.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Greetings, Valued Revenue Streams! Are you tired of being able to afford avocados and air conditioning? Well, we’ve heard your cries (mostly because we’ve bugged your smart meters), and we’re here to help you simplify your lifestyle by taking all your money.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

If your power goes out, please enjoy our Premium Dark Mode Experience™. It’s eco-friendly, mostly because we aren't doing anything, and it only costs a small 'Grid Resilience' surcharge. Stay safe, stay dry, and remember: our CEO’s yacht doesn't have a sail, so pay those bills! ⛈️💰⚡️"

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

Storm’s coming! While you’re buying batteries, we’re prepping the 'Hydraulic Overhead Fee.' 🌧️ If the grid fails, just remember: Silence is golden, and our surge pricing is platinum. Stay thirsty! ⚡️💰

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

"Oh, it’s going to rain? You mean 'unplanned infrastructure stress tests.' Can’t wait to charge a convenience fee for the puddles! ⚡️☔️💰"

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

Calling for a possibility of a couple of near +15 days next week. be prepared for power outages.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

With the local weather event coming up, we'd like to issue this statement: we know of the snow mixed with rain coming, and are prepared.....to do absolutely nothing.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 01/03/2026

Looks like Dim Houston is hated more than us right now. hahahahahahahaaaaa also, hahahahahahaaahahaha

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

We have opened our EOC at great expense to us. not to worry, we will recoup those costs from "emergency storm fees" added to your bill. @dimhouston.bsky.social said it's ok

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

Winter Update: Our Official Stance on the "Snowpocalypse" Attention, Valued Revenue Sources! As the storm approaches, we want you to know that we are right there with you. Not physically, of course—most of our executives are currently overseeing "grid stability" from a private beach in Aruba

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Roses are red, Our logos are blue, We’ve raised all the rates, But we still "value" you. #2026valentines

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

Well; now that the Superbowl is over and people have used a CRAP LOAD of power, we want to let our dear plebs know that we will continue to do the absolute bare minimum while raking in record profits for our shareholders. #2026blessed

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 31/01/2026

There's a storm coming; a Nor'Easter; it's not gonna be great. But never fear, we will make sure you all are still charged for the power you're not using. We have an image to uphold; and when the shareholders are told the power is on, and the profits are flowing, that's all that matters #blessed

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

Pro Tip: If you see our CEO’s heated driveway melting snow effortlessly on the news, just know that your high rates made that miracle possible. You’re basically a philanthropist. Stay frosty (but not literally, unless you haven't paid last bill)!

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

We’ve seen the "snow" outside. We’ve seen your frantic posts about "downed lines" and "hypothermia." Frankly, it’s adorable. While you’re out there shivering in three layers of flannel and trying to boil snow over a candle, we’re back at HQ having a literal blast. #timhoustonisdoingthelimbo

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Hey! look at that we're down to less than 5000 A̶T̶M̶'̶s̶ ratepayers offline. that's only .0043%!!! statistically that's zero, congratulations to us for a job half-assed, and as of right now, complete. to those still offline, you are considered statistical anomalies and will be promptly ignored

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

We’ve achieved a 100% reduction in carbon emissions for 4,000 of our customers today. By 'reduction,' we mean we accidentally unplugged a main grid line while installing a gold-plated espresso machine in the CEO’s office. Don't worry, we’re still charging you the 'Connection Maintenance Fee.'

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

First, let’s reframe this: You aren’t "without power." You are participating in a Mandatory Low-Carbon Digital Detox™. We’ve heard your feedback about wanting a simpler life, and frankly, we’re delivering it—one frozen pipe at a time.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

RE: The approaching storm Please note that our "Emergency Surcharge" is triggered by the first raindrop hitting the pavement. Also, if a tree falls on a line in the forest and no one is around to hear it... we’re still charging you a $400 "Atmospheric Interference" fee.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

As we wait for the New Years ball drop (and hopefully not the voltage), we wanted to take a moment to reflect on our favorite part of the past year: Your Monthly Statement. While you were making resolutions to spend less, we were making resolutions to charge more. It’s all about balance #blessed

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

We know there's a lot of you without power right now. not to worry. when we estimate your bills, we will make sure to charge for the time you didn't have power, cause, realistically, if the power WAS on, you'd be charged for it anyway, so....we see no reason to change that. #blessed

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

Big storm coming! Tree branches meet power lines. Power lines meet the ground. You meet a very expensive emergency service fee. #PowelessButNotPenniless

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

We are hearing a lot of grumbling about the 25,000 (allegedly) customers offline right now. we hear you. If everyone had paid their *estimated* bill on time, this would have never happened. #onyourownhead

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

We've been taking a pretty good beating about your power bills lately, however, we didn't hear no bell. #bringit

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

We're so proud to announce another record-breaking quarter! Your astronomically higher bills make our private jets slightly shinier. Thanks for fueling our future!!! #blessed #tistheseason

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

We, the dedicated stewards of your electrons here at NSP, are writing to you today with heavy hearts. We've been monitoring the discourse lately—specifically, the incessant whining—about your recent power bills. And, frankly, we're hurt. our greedy shareholders need their yearly dividends.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

we will shut off the power.....ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃʳᵍᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵖᵉˢᵏʸ ʳᵉᶜᵒⁿⁿᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᶠᵉᵉ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵃˡˡᵒʷ ³⁻⁵ ......ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ʷᵃᶦᵗ.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

Hello, loyal energy consumers! We hope this message finds you... well, chilled to the bone and nervously eyeing your thermostat, because we certainly are! We're absolutely buzzing with excitement here at Emera Corp., and we just had to share our joy. #blessed #powertothepeopleforaprice

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

That's not just pretty white stuff falling, folks, that's pure demand for heaters, electric blankets, and maybe a 2nd space heater Remember to crank up that thermostat, we love the sound of your wallets... er, we mean, your comfort.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

We at NSP understand that sometimes the lights go out. And we also understand that our profits go up when that happens. It's a win-win! (Mostly for us). Keep paying those bills, folks! We need to fund our CEO's solid gold yacht.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

There's nothing that we are scared of. not politicians, not rate payers, not share holders..........but this thing, it haunts us

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

We're thrilled to announce our new "Loyalty Surcharge" for customers who... you know... pay their bills. Think of it as a small "thank you" for your continued funding of our third corporate yacht. Have a powerfully expensive day!

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 30/10/2025

We've been looking at the weather forecast, and oh boy, does it look like we're going to get some seriously heavy rain soon! we'll be here, diligently working to ensure... well, that we can charge you accordingly for any unforeseen service interruptions. Stay dry, keep those wallets handy!

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 28/10/2025

Maximizing shareholder value, requires minimizing your happiness and maximizing our profit margins. Our annual report is basically just a high-score screen. Thanks for being our valued, revenue-generating customers! Remember, the best way to protest our prices is to pay them immediately.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 27/10/2025

Brrrrr, the ol' power meters are spinning this morning. our greedy shareholders thank you from the bottom of their cold dead hearts.

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Nova Scotia Power .... parody....maybe @novascotiapowery.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

Ah, Sunday. The perfect day to reflect on the beauty of nature... and how much we're going to charge you for the electricity to power your fan when it gets too hot. A truly beautiful day for business. Enjoy the light while it lasts. 😉

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