iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 8h

Throwing clothes into a "Laundry Basket" - what an interesting concept. Floor not good enough for a legendary rockstar, hmmm?

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 10h

I was talking to Harry Houdini's wife only the other day, and she still finds it hilarious.

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 11h

It's just down there on the left, or It's just down that passageway, or it's through there. But what it isn't ever is just down the sodding corridoor, coridor, coridoor or corridor.

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 11h

Imagine wanting to execute a death row prisoner on live tv, but then for some unfathomable reason not winning the Nobel Peace Prize. It's an outrage.

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 16h

I think their advert is way too soon. Have some respect guys.

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 17h

As the judge told the previous CSO & Chaplain, shooting someone 6 times before dumping them by the edge of a river then seeing their body is still twitching, does not count as a healing miracle no matter how much the other casino patrons who saw it decided to 'donate' to your ministry afterwards.

Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 17h

Is there a Vinyl Damon, for painting kitchens and bathrooms?

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 17h

Will you reveal yourself to the others and come clean?

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 23h

Dated joke: Weins World, party time, excellent.

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Not Invented @notinvented.bsky.social · 23h

Anyone tried to tell Trump that 'flower' sometimes has a bee at the end?

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I did the same when I was on jury service, except I tried to levitate people's chairs. My thought waves were partially successful as they were picked up by an official, and I distinctly heard them say the court will now rise. But it didn't.

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The problem is that as you've gathered more experience the stuff you initially found tricky becomes easier until it's routine. So you'd wear glasses for a particular task but now you don't. That might take a bit of explaining. (Carefully cleans spectacles, and places them into their case).

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Wotcha airport ground control dudes, Big Aircraft 1 here, we just done the landing bit and request steery directions to your plane-station building so the passengers can like get out and stuff.

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If they beep their horn, you beep yours.

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So forget mesh cages on vehicles, just drive around with the Ukrainian coat of arms at the end of a very long stick and let them attack that instead.

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And that was how Pussy NoMore got her nickname.

At least it sounds better than the Fentanyl Award for Art (still life).

"Ehhhh - what's up doc. I'm a wascally wabbit!". Director: Very good, but could we just go again because I think your SpongeBob accent just drifted a tad there.

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Rachel Parris - "The one who can actually sing" on Radio 4s I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

I'd guess that one of the reasons their services may be slower right now is that they, or their customers, are frantically distributing huge amounts of data between data centers to make sure if another one is hit they don't lose anything. Similar to AWS being attacked by Iran in the Middle East.

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But it's all in monochrome, so how do we get colour tv? Huh, huh?

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If you don't like parties then say so, and don't go. You don't even need an excuse, just "I'm sure it'll be great but I don't like parties" will do. And don't feel guilty about it.

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People who say recording a conversation you're not involved in is illegal - so does that mean all home cctv systems and dashcams must stop recording audio if the owner isn't present?

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How the legend of the knights of the round table started.

Don't worry, I'm sure the house isn't really cursed, I have a photograph somewhere of a priest blessing the digger and the bone skip just before they dug up the abandoned graveyard this house was built on.

Omg! Have already America will afterwards previously invented a time machine in advance in the current future past? (Tenses in time travel are very tricky).

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The sky is acceptable. Everything else is wrong, even the flag didn't exist then.

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The Earth is orbiting in space. I hear sounds on Earth, and therefore there are sounds in space.

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At least I can spell tapasterry. Which I believe is a type of Spanish snack made from a chocolate orange.

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I find that if you go for an interview they'll offer you a coffee anyway. If you want one, the correct response is to say yes and how much milk & sugar etc. The incorrect response is to say you only drink frozen flat choco mocha venti cola frappucino espresso and could they send a runner out. NOW.

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From Reddit, Feb 2019. "Unfortunately the former owners were keeping him in a pen outside. He didn't like that, kept getting out and running off. He is an amazing personality and we are blessed to have him. He now has his own couch and gets to stay indoors."

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I had someone say a similar thing to me in a corridor at work. I wasn't holding it open because of who they were, but as they were approaching close by it was the polite thing to do. Saw them a few days later and deliberately pulled the door shut in front of them saying "As requested last time".

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Why do these cartoons on Bluesky always miss out the title text, which is a large part of the humour, and the alt text?

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My doctor said I can only eat 1 chocolate per week. And now I have found that chocolate.

I couldn't get a handle on Digger. It wasn't as good as Hoe, or Spades, and even though it had a bigger budget than a Shovel and a Trowel I felt that audiences just wouldn't dig it.

020

Ah yes, Baker Street. Unforgettable.

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The driver went straight through 2 red lights, although they did well threading such a long train through the tight gaps in the square supports. It must take a lot of precision and training to get that good at steering.

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Is Saturday Night Fever getting released soon or did I miss it?

Laxative chocolates are very tasty. And red bull makes a fine 'soda pop' substitute for thirsty travellers.

But if I miss the adverts how will I know which <loud click, muffled recording, stock 1960s image of generic curry> indian restaurants are within 200 metres of this cinema <microphone click>.

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She has a detachable ass, and it's still huge.

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