iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

Beginning next month it will now be impossible to opt-out of being tracked online, but that’s okay! Every time your data is sold, you get half of the proceeds! Legally, as part of the “Sell Me Act”!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

Anyone transferring to RedNote from TikTok who lives in our state can rest easy: The State already sells all of your private, personal information to the Chinese, so that risk is moot! Enjoy RedNote!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

As a reminder, solar panels are now considered garbage, please either demolish yourself to use as fertilizer or the state will pick it up to shred and deliver to a local farmer.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

With the loss of TikTok, our state is launching a program that will provide anyone suffering from TikTok withdrawal free VPN access so you can get back to doomscrolling!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Some poor chap mentioned the words “Public Transit” inside the capitol building today and was immediately sentenced to death. There are signs, people.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

As states begin to rollback their green initiatives, I just want to remind people that our state has firmly stood against the environment this entire time.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Bastards got the “Tarantulas in the Bad Representative Box” bill passed which is exactly what it says. Joke’s on them, I’m collecting tarantulas to sell on the grey market.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

I’ve been locked in the “bad representative” box for inciting a riot again, but luckily they’re letting me still vote. I voted NO on supplies for orphans, once again.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

I’ve been informed that we have once again lost the governor, we do apologize.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

We’re taking notes from the brave firefighters of California, who are apparently not using their fists to fight fire. We’re taking that into consideration.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

100 followers! To celebrate, everyone that isn’t a bot that replies here will receive exactly one (1) law of their choosing!

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Reposted by Not Your State Rep

The Onion @theonion.com · 07/01/2025

Muffled Gunshot Heard From Inside Otto The Orange Costume

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Every year we allow one 5-year old to write a law that will go into effect, as a cute way to get kids interested in politics! Last year kissing was banned (and we’ve had record arrests from it) but this year everyone gets a pony! This will bankrupt us!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Our state is implementing the first Single-Payer system in the country, by handing the reigns to GoFundMe! It’s already used by so many people, why not make it our main source?

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Our state’s roads have been described as “the road equivalent of Swiss cheese”, and for the first time we’re changing that! The “Melted Swiss Roads” bill provides funding for us to melt the existing roads down enough to fill in the gaps! There’s no way this could possibly go wrong!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

With the shopping season slowing, we’re committed to ensuring our state’s corporations maintain their record profits. As such, we’re cancelling all extracurricular school programs to provide each citizen a $50 gift card to the store of their choice!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

Proud to be the only state in the nation who maintains a fleet of missile-equipped attack geese in our capital’s police force.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

It’s getting cold outside! You may now ignite your state-provided tire fires using your state-provided copies of Fahrenheit 451.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 05/01/2025

The only camera that should be inside the home is your state-provided “Big Brother” system, which everyone knows is used for security and to ensure our citizens are ideal citizens!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 03/01/2025

We’ve received complaints from our small business Gym owners, who say they can’t charge surge prices! Insanity! My “Capitalist Paradise” bill removes any such limits, and I hope to see some gym membership prices that would make a yacht club blush!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 03/01/2025

Five cats Two dogs Fifteen Fish Eight Lizards Three Tortoises What do all of these have in common? Per each of those, you can register to “have” one (1) Human Child Dependent on your state taxes! This requires no human children and an income under $12 annually.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 03/01/2025

I’ve been let out of rehab, thanks to the “Drugs For Representatives” bill that Reps Pink and Whitman passed this week that not only legalizes drug use for representatives, but supplies them, all on the tax payer’s dollar! Thanks, suckers!

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Reposted by Not Your State Rep

kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 02/01/2025

sad day today. we had to bury my mother. she wasn’t dead yet she just wouldn’t stop asking questions during a movie.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

To better prepare for uncertain times, we’re looking to replace all soft toilet paper with something more of the “sandpaper” variety. Soft tushies cause soft men which cause hard times is the saying, as we all know.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

Also, our state is banning pre-existing trauma, so please dump all trauma here before Jan 3rd.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

Happy 2025! My resolution is to once again bring back the “2020 Part X” naming scheme that reflects our dire times. So, hopefully this coming year will be referred to by its proper name, 2020 Part 6!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

It’s harder than ever for even those with Doctorates to earn a living wage. Starting January 1st, our state is offering the first Super Doctorate programs in the country! The programs take a short 20 years and celibacy, but provide a very good chance that in the future you’ll earn more money!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

When I leave politics in twenty or so years for a cushy C-level position at a company that I provide massive kickbacks to, this is the level of intimate connection I want to have with all of my subordinates. youtu.be/6QgrwSfDpb0?...

youtu.be

“Lunch is on me”

YouTube video by CrackerMilk

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

Merry Christmas! And please remember to leave cash out for Jeff Bezos as he Amazon delivers himself down your chimney.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

We want to remind people to not dig beneath their homes, we’re not hiding anything except for the fact that beneath us is nothing: the Earth is largely hollow. But hollow like Swiss Cheese and less like the moon in Moonfall.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

Santa’s sleigh has been spotted scouting out our newest neighborhoods, but we want to remind people that they are safe! All because of the state’s Chimney Ban and updated defenses as part of our ongoing War on Christmas.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

If I can’t get out of rehab, I’ll make rehab work for me. I’m proposing in my “Trip or Treat” bill that high-dose DMT treatments be administered to EVERY person in rehab in the state.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Some believe that begging along the island of intersections is dangerous. Well, I say that’s perfectly safe compared to my currently proposal, which requires street beggars to ask for money/work from the exact center of an intersection. Theoretically, they should be safe!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Our state’s largest attraction, the Great Hole is responsible for a significant amount of tourism and, as it continues to grow, the loss of our second largest city.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

You may not be aware, but you can eat 6 donuts per Coke, and as such I’m advancing my new bill, the “A Hole New Measurement Standard”, which defines all food in how many donuts are in that food. Q: How many calories per donut? A: Calorie? No clue. It’s one donut per donut. Q: Is this healthy? A: No.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

HOAs get to legally take your house after 3 unpaid complaint tickets.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Rehab is still a nightmare btw. Apparently, my rival in the House, Rep Carziboutu has been killing all of my bills that would get me out of this hellhole!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

With record Bitcoin prices, our state is installing Bitcoin mining programs on every computer in the state! Q: How? A: Wouldn’t you like to know. Q: Is this legal? A: We write the laws. And we dgaf.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Just a reminder, I have absolutely no convictions other than $$$.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Making Python our state’s official language.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

We’re now immediately jailing people who use bad puns.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Our state requires eggnog to be at least 80% Santa cum.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Our economy depends on the back-breaking labor of our workers, and as such I’m proposing the “Pizza 4 All Act” gives every company the funds for pizza for their employees, once a year! We know, we know, it’s too gracious.

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

We’re removing speed limits in the state. Good luck!

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Not Your State Rep @not-your-state-rep.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

Bad news folks, I was caught trying to physically walk out of the rehab facility. I’m working on a bill that will let important people such as myself sneak out for a succulent Chinese meal.

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