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Tufty Club Henchman

@normalherbs.bsky.social
187 followers 137 following 949 posts

Jokes mostly. I’m also into science and technology. Ethics before politics.

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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
“At the hotel reception I said ’I'm awfully sorry, I forgot what room I'm in’. ’No problem sir’ the lady said. ’This is called 'The Lobby'". ~Steven Spielberg #quote
Rolf Harris
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
“There’s nothing wrong with collecting crisp packets.” ~Yvette Fielding #quote
Edith Bowman
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Here’s my origin video game, you whippersnappers.
Horace and the Spiders
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
“Head lice becoming more resistant to treatments. Scientists left scratching their heads.” ~Phillip Schofield #quote
Freddy Krueger
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
"My cum smells like a chip shop." ~Ben Fogle #quote
Rob Brydon
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
“Why was the string instrument so certain? The harp wants what the harp wants.” ~Nigel Kennedy #quote
Chris Packham
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
“They should make a TV show following John Nettles around playing Sting songs at him when he’s out in public. They could call it Stinging Nettles.” ~Liza Tarbuck #quote
Kirstie Allsopp
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
“My diarrhoea smells like pickled onions.” ~Caitlyn Jenner #quote
Fatima Whitbread
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
“I put my finger in my bellybutton and gave it a sniff. Ripe cheddar!” ~Heather Graham #quote
Amy Schumer
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
“What’s the fast drink in the world? Milk - it’s pasteurised before you see it.” ~Nick Berry #quote
Patrick Kielty
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
“Why are you asking me if I have fangs?” ~Katie Phang #quote
Tia Carrere
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Nice picture of Michael Weatherly.
Danny Dyer
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
“Who was the skinniest singer? Bony Tyler.” ~ Jamie Theakston #quote
Hugh Heffner
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
“Hell yeah! I love it when I smell like raw pastry!” ~Mutya Buena #quote
Vanessa Feltz
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
“I just learned that oat milk was discovered in the 1960s, when NASA found out by accident what zero-g environments do to goat milk” ~Salman Rushdie #quote
Armin Shimerman
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
"I just accidentally peed on myself and now I smell like bacon." ~Sid Owen #quote
Dexter Fletcher
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
"Why doesn't the duck like his doctor? He's a quack." ~Sally Field #quote
Rosanne Barr
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Nice picture of John Lithgow.
John McEnroe
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Weird Al Yankovich wearing a tinfoil hat
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
“Floating on a cloud Sticky icky icky Got me some loud Tacky whacky baccy” ~Snoop Dogg #quote
Marvin Gaye
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
"Who was the shittiest king? Richard the Turd." ~Matthew Kelly #quote
Rolf Harris
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Nice picture of Jeff Bezos.
Ross Kemp
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Nice picture of Andy Burnham.
Andrew Lloyd Webber
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Nice picture of Scott Baio.
Hugh Jackman
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Nice picture of Zach Braff.
Dax Shepard
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
“Where do parrots go to school? The polytechnic.“ ~Keir Starmer #quote
Christopher Reeves
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
“First you had black and white telly, then came colour telly, then, lo and behold, Telly Savalas.” ~Edith Bowman #quote
Fearne Cotton
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Geoff Goldblum in full effect.
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
“What do you say when you make a dead body disappear? Abra-cadaver!” ~Katherine Heigl #quote
Patricia Arquette
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
"Why does my earwax smell like chocolate?" ~Toby Anstis #quote
Andy Crane
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
“My nephew sells irritating clockwork toys. He’s a windup merchant.” ~Pope Leo XIV #quote
Donald Trump
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
“Why was the farmer always pressing his lips against his rooster? He loved to suck his cock.” ~Derek Griffiths #quote
Gary Wilmot
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
"How did I get so smart? By eating cockroaches." ~Neil Turok #quote
Dave Lee Travis
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Nice picture of Quentin Tarantino.
Blakey off of On the Buses
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
"Which robotic singer bips and boops? Justin Beeper." ~Victoria Beckham #quote
Kate Beckinsale
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
“Just had sex with a baseball bat.” ~Goldie Hawn #quote
Fanny Cradock
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
“Jim Al-Khalili is silly sniffing Billy. He’s eating bugs when he’s on drugs.” ~Jilly Cooper #quote
Some old bag that’s dead.
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Nice picture of Marina Sirtis.
Grotbags
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
“Ken Barlow is not my father!” ~Gary Barlow #quote
Ronan Keating
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
“I do not look like an elderly lesbian!” ~Conan O’Brien #quote
Pam St Clement
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
"Which Ewok likes cricket? Wicket." ~Warwick Davis #quote
Peter Dinklage
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
You can't tell me these aren't lizard people.
Music album cover with the words "No Mercy" (the band name) and "where do you go" written underneath. The bottom two thirds of the picture feature the three bandmates.
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Where do you go, my lovely... Where do you go?
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
”Who is the skinniest celebrity in Britain? Helen Skeleton.” Danny Dyer #quote
Mr Blobby
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
“Who is the most plastic, see-through celebrity in America? Susan Saranwrap.“ ~Scott Baio #quote
Tony Danza
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
“What do you do when someone wants to become prime minister? Burnham.” ~Penelope Keith #quote
Margaret Thatcher
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Seals.
SealAlso Seal
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
“Which London landmark is a big black penis? Trevor Nelson’s Column.” ~Zoe Ball #quote
Judy Finnigan
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Nice picture of Will Smith.
The Man From Delmonté
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Tufty Club Henchman @normalherbs.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
“I really do have the smelliest queefs. Everyone has to put up with the smell of rotten haggis, I don’t care.” ~Kemi Badenoch #quote.
Grace Jones
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