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Nolan

@nolanr.bsky.social
703 followers 569 following 552 posts

Lunatic, hater, punk trash

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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Mason Miller goes on the paternity list right before an elimination game and Max Fried is potentially missing the birth of his child to try and salvage the Yankees season. If you’re an elite pitcher in Major League Baseball, you simply have to start wearing condoms in mid-late January.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Death, taxes, and the Yankees shitting down their legs in the ALDS against a division rival
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The 2026 Red Sox played an entire regular season and I had absolutely no idea if they were good or not. It turns out the answer was no.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This kicks so much ass
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Three nice pieces of hitting in a row, next guy up crushes lefties. Let’s send the runner to get hosed by 20 feet.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Never mind
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Orlando Arcia stocks through the roof
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
90% of commercials are about quirky insurance companies or shaving your balls
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
(9 o’clock at the end of the second inning) Oh right it’s a Yankees Red Sox playoff game
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Baseball fans were never meant to be exposed to this much Liberty Biberty
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Just thought to myself “the Tilly Norwood Chinese video belongs in the eldertiktok Kirk canon” and immediately considered checking into an institution
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
TreVeyon Henderson only hates trans people because they know how to effectively block something
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
ESPN made Passan and Schefter tweet about the Clippers stuff being unprecedented across other leagues so it would seem like Silver’s bullying the poor innocent billionaire owners, but it just made MLB and the NFL look like Weenie Hut General’s
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
PCA’s walk rate going from 4% to 12% and Misiorowski’s BB/9 going from 4.2 (higher in the minors) to 2.1 between last year and this year are two of the most unbelievable outcomes I’ve ever seen. Both players had one glaring flaw holding them back from superstardom and completely eradicated them.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
My dynasty team with Ashton Jeanty, Kenneth Walker, and Ja’Marr Chase would really appreciate it if everyone could just stop practicing and sit motionless in a room made of bubble wrap until week 1, thanks so much
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
The two funniest things ever are the couple trying to steal Jean-Pierre Leaud’s car in WEEKEND (1967) and Ann Kittenplan getting drilled with a tennis ball in Infinite Jest. The gunpowder joke from The Rehearsal probably rounds out the top three.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Don’t need to hear the name Sophie Cunningham ever again. 2018 Wesley Matthews with plastic surgery and a MAGA hat is not an interesting idea #HitTheShowers
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
LeBron taking this long to sign can only mean they’re legalizing Bill Simmons’ idea for him to play one week with every team in the league and then retire
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I’m taking bets on who will be the one to get 50,000 likes on Letterboxd for reviewing The Odyssey with “Hey men and they are pigs”
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Republican politicians all live until 117 years old so I’m counting this as a colossal W
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Erika Kirk is in my Black Ops lobby and she keeps crying every time the guy says “We lost Charlie”
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I can only assume the TL is reacting to Jose Caballero’s second home run of the game against his former team
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
ESPN should start sending out notifications when the Yankees *aren’t* being no-hit through five innings.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
There might not be a single good team in the American League.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
SGA insta caption after a comeback road win against the Cavs: Had a quagmire in Cleveland but I’m feeling like Peter
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
It’s 2026 and I’m still mad at Young Thug for replacing his best verse on So Much Fun with some MGK-slop
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Movie podcast guys in the Sopranos universe must get so much content out of CLEAVER these days. A mid-2000s slasher produced by the mob, both writers ending up dead within a year of its release? Ka-ching.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Jerry Seinfeld did not deserve to witness any of that.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
“We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year” is a pretty dark thing to say in the Community theme song
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
KAT just did something I’ve only ever seen 45 overall MyPlayers do in NBA 2k11, you gotta be kidding me dude
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Don’t know how dual basketball/hockey people do it, one of these playoffs is more than enough
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Instant classic. Jeff Bezos was already going to Super Hell but now they’re inventing a whole new layer just for him.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
One broadcaster in the Padres-Rockies game is chastising the other for not having seen The French Connection. Baseball is the greatest sport in the world.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Jo Adell robbing three home runs in a 1-0 game is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen a professional athlete do
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Where were you when Giancarlo Stanton’s baserunning manufactured a run in 2026?
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
2026 MLB Opening Day Predictions ⚾️ (Didn't list Ohtani, Judge, Skenes, or Skubal in awards voting or pick the Dodgers as WS champions because duh)
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
Paul Thomas Anderson should’ve stopped at exactly one Oscar out of respect for Kobe.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
Conan is so good at this lol
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
Imagine being busy for like 3 hours and coming back to the Ravens backing out of the Maxx Crosby trade, team USA getting blitzed by Italy, and Bam Adebayo scoring 83 points
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
I still think the Nuggets and Wolves will be scary in the playoffs but it’s entirely possible that the Thunder vs Wemby era in the West arrived a year or two earlier than expected
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
media.tenor.com
a cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin .
ALT: a cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin .
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
“Demapped” is a much more evocative and less embarrassing algorithm manipulator than “unalived.” Infinite Jest-heads are vindicated once again.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
At least Mike Vrabel gets to keep his dick
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
First takeaway from this J Cole album is I need to get into James Taylor
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
Brooks Barnhizer looks like he burns ants with a magnifying glass
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
Turning Luka Doncic into Khris Middleton
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
De Blasio was right to drop and kill this little fucker
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Reposted by Nolan
sixpenceee none the richer @kagredon.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
I’m having a Certified Unc Moment remembering that Nicki Minaj endorsed Mitt Romney on a Lil Wayne mixtape in 2012. It’s not a new grift, she’s always been a dumb asshole.
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Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
The best piece of Ella McCay lore is that her brother apparently makes $2 million a year telling sports gamblers to bet on the 2008 Detroit Lions
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