Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Mason Miller goes on the paternity list right before an elimination game and Max Fried is potentially missing the birth of his child to try and salvage the Yankees season. If you’re an elite pitcher in Major League Baseball, you simply have to start wearing condoms in mid-late January. 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Death, taxes, and the Yankees shitting down their legs in the ALDS against a division rival 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026The 2026 Red Sox played an entire regular season and I had absolutely no idea if they were good or not. It turns out the answer was no. 030
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Three nice pieces of hitting in a row, next guy up crushes lefties. Let’s send the runner to get hosed by 20 feet. 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/202690% of commercials are about quirky insurance companies or shaving your balls 020
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 30/09/2026(9 o’clock at the end of the second inning) Oh right it’s a Yankees Red Sox playoff game 021
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Baseball fans were never meant to be exposed to this much Liberty Biberty 050
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Just thought to myself “the Tilly Norwood Chinese video belongs in the eldertiktok Kirk canon” and immediately considered checking into an institution 020
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 18/09/2026TreVeyon Henderson only hates trans people because they know how to effectively block something 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 02/09/2026ESPN made Passan and Schefter tweet about the Clippers stuff being unprecedented across other leagues so it would seem like Silver’s bullying the poor innocent billionaire owners, but it just made MLB and the NFL look like Weenie Hut General’s 050
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 31/08/2026PCA’s walk rate going from 4% to 12% and Misiorowski’s BB/9 going from 4.2 (higher in the minors) to 2.1 between last year and this year are two of the most unbelievable outcomes I’ve ever seen. Both players had one glaring flaw holding them back from superstardom and completely eradicated them. 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/08/2026My dynasty team with Ashton Jeanty, Kenneth Walker, and Ja’Marr Chase would really appreciate it if everyone could just stop practicing and sit motionless in a room made of bubble wrap until week 1, thanks so much 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 19/08/2026The two funniest things ever are the couple trying to steal Jean-Pierre Leaud’s car in WEEKEND (1967) and Ann Kittenplan getting drilled with a tennis ball in Infinite Jest. The gunpowder joke from The Rehearsal probably rounds out the top three. 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Don’t need to hear the name Sophie Cunningham ever again. 2018 Wesley Matthews with plastic surgery and a MAGA hat is not an interesting idea #HitTheShowers 031
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 22/07/2026LeBron taking this long to sign can only mean they’re legalizing Bill Simmons’ idea for him to play one week with every team in the league and then retire 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 17/07/2026I’m taking bets on who will be the one to get 50,000 likes on Letterboxd for reviewing The Odyssey with “Hey men and they are pigs” 100
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Republican politicians all live until 117 years old so I’m counting this as a colossal W 030
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Erika Kirk is in my Black Ops lobby and she keeps crying every time the guy says “We lost Charlie” 030
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I can only assume the TL is reacting to Jose Caballero’s second home run of the game against his former team 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 07/07/2026ESPN should start sending out notifications when the Yankees *aren’t* being no-hit through five innings. 042
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 01/07/2026There might not be a single good team in the American League. 030
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 29/06/2026SGA insta caption after a comeback road win against the Cavs: Had a quagmire in Cleveland but I’m feeling like Peter 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/06/2026It’s 2026 and I’m still mad at Young Thug for replacing his best verse on So Much Fun with some MGK-slop 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Movie podcast guys in the Sopranos universe must get so much content out of CLEAVER these days. A mid-2000s slasher produced by the mob, both writers ending up dead within a year of its release? Ka-ching. 011
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 31/05/2026“We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year” is a pretty dark thing to say in the Community theme song 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/04/2026KAT just did something I’ve only ever seen 45 overall MyPlayers do in NBA 2k11, you gotta be kidding me dude 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 21/04/2026Don’t know how dual basketball/hockey people do it, one of these playoffs is more than enough 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Instant classic. Jeff Bezos was already going to Super Hell but now they’re inventing a whole new layer just for him. 020
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 10/04/2026One broadcaster in the Padres-Rockies game is chastising the other for not having seen The French Connection. Baseball is the greatest sport in the world. 181
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/04/2026Jo Adell robbing three home runs in a 1-0 game is one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen a professional athlete do 060
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/04/2026Where were you when Giancarlo Stanton’s baserunning manufactured a run in 2026? 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 25/03/20262026 MLB Opening Day Predictions ⚾️ (Didn't list Ohtani, Judge, Skenes, or Skubal in awards voting or pick the Dodgers as WS champions because duh) 101
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 16/03/2026Paul Thomas Anderson should’ve stopped at exactly one Oscar out of respect for Kobe. 0218
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Imagine being busy for like 3 hours and coming back to the Ravens backing out of the Maxx Crosby trade, team USA getting blitzed by Italy, and Bam Adebayo scoring 83 points 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/03/2026I still think the Nuggets and Wolves will be scary in the playoffs but it’s entirely possible that the Thunder vs Wemby era in the West arrived a year or two earlier than expected 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/03/2026media.tenor.coma cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin .ALT: a cartoon of batman wearing a blue cape and mask with his hand on his chin . 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 13/02/2026“Demapped” is a much more evocative and less embarrassing algorithm manipulator than “unalived.” Infinite Jest-heads are vindicated once again. 000
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 06/02/2026First takeaway from this J Cole album is I need to get into James Taylor 010
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 05/02/2026Brooks Barnhizer looks like he burns ants with a magnifying glass 010
Reposted by Nolansixpenceee none the richer @kagredon.bsky.social · 30/01/2026xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government 55135473665
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 28/01/2026I’m having a Certified Unc Moment remembering that Nicki Minaj endorsed Mitt Romney on a Lil Wayne mixtape in 2012. It’s not a new grift, she’s always been a dumb asshole. 020
Nolan @nolanr.bsky.social · 28/01/2026The best piece of Ella McCay lore is that her brother apparently makes $2 million a year telling sports gamblers to bet on the 2008 Detroit Lions 020