iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

True, the effects of three years of stress have not gone away yet and restoring my mental and physical health will take more time, but I hope that I can handle it с:

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Hello, my dears! I have some good news. My uncle helped me with my loan debts, and I can finally relax and stop worrying 24/7. I still have to work hard every month to pay him back, but it's much better than dealing with creditors! My life is slowly getting back on track! 💖

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Sometimes I want to write something about myself that isn’t really related to drawing, but I feel like on my accounts, this kind of shitpost wouldn’t be liked by anyone. And if I create separate accounts, it’s hard for me to keep up with them alongside my work accounts.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

So I’m constantly anxious that I’m saying something wrong (hello, anxiety disorder), and since my native language isn’t English… I keep double-checking even basic words 😭 And this is very difficult for me, because due to depression, I sometimes find it hard to even get out of bed :<

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Fun fact about me: I’m a homebody hikikomori from Siberia whose only social contact is my husband. On top of that, due to some events in my life, I never really learned how to communicate with people at all.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

You know, it’s so sad when you spend your whole life thinking that if you learn to draw really well, you’ll instantly become popular. But here I am — I’ve kinda learned how to draw, yet it turns out that being able to interact with an audience is much more important than drawing beautifully.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I think someday I'll buy a monitor identical to the one I had before. As it turned out, even though it was huge and heavy, it was much more convenient.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

My graphics tablet remote control broke, and now it's uncomfortable to work. I'm getting used to drawing without adjusting the brush size with the dial. It's so annoying, xp-pen, what the hell?

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

On the plus side: I had a nice birthday, I'm feeling a little better, and I'm working hard. On the downside: I've been sued for not paying back a loan. Oops... Looks like I'll have to work even harder. This year hasn't started off very kindly so far, but then again, I didn't expect anything else х)

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Reposted by 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞

Mintarin ✨ ᴄᴏᴍᴍs ᴏᴘᴇɴ @mintarin.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Goddess of Spring ✿ Hunni Belle ♡ + ↺ — #CommsOpen #art #commission #illustration #digitalart #art #furry #furryart

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Reposted by 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞

Mintarin ✨ ᴄᴏᴍᴍs ᴏᴘᴇɴ @mintarin.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

YCH ✿ Rioichi_TheAncient_Wolfheart ✿ #2 ◃🩷▹ ♡ + ↺ — #CommsOpen #art #commission #illustration #digitalart #art #furry #furryart

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

If there are incredibly beautiful outfits in the next patch, I'll cry. This game makes me want to live, but at the same time, I suffer from not being able to get absolutely all the outfits there... 🥹

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

I also regret that I can't sell my apartment to donate to Infinity Nikki, because I don't have enough currency to get the whole fairy outfit. Or can I? :D I've collected 7/10 pieces of the outfit, and I don't think I'll be able to collect the whole thing without donating... T.T

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

I spent the last few months in bed. Now I'm jumping around like a little goat, and my only regret is that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I need sleep and food. I suspect that I do have bipolar disorder or something similar, but right now I plan to make the most of my condition. I'm alive!

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

Thank you, dear! 🫂 I'm really glad to hear that, and I'm very grateful for your support. Hearing that really helps me. (Actually, I'm incredibly grateful to everyone who helped me this year. Without your support, I wouldn't have been able to do it 💖)

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

This year feels like it finally broke me. I isolate myself because I feel like a burden, like everyone would be better off if I disappeared. All I wish for this New Year is mercy. I hope your year was kinder than mine, and that the next one brings more light for all of us 🥹

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

I’ve seen several psychiatrists. Zoloft only made me worse - shaking, GI issues, emotional swings. Another doctor dismissed my words, said I “look too well to be depressed,” and prescribed a sedative instead. Even doctors don’t seem to take my state seriously. Now I can’t even pretend I’m okay.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

For the past few months, thoughts about wanting to stop existing have been coming back. Not plans - just the wish to disappear, to rest, to not have to keep going. Most days I feel empty, exhausted, and overwhelmed by simply being alive.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

I'm not even sure if I'll celebrate Christmas and decorate the house, put up a Christmas tree... I hope that at least I'll be able to pay off my overdue loans by the end of the month. This year has been such a nightmare.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

I'm trying to catch up on all the debts I've accumulated over the past few months. It's very difficult to even force myself to get out of bed; it seems like I've used up all my strength this year... At least the medication I've been prescribed is helping with my anxiety

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

I increased my antidepressant dose and for the third day I've been shaking with anxiety and muscle tension and can't do anything. The doctor said to be patient and that it could last up to two weeks. It's exhausting T.T

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

I am severely exhausted, the medication is only making things worse for now, and it's hard for me to even get out of bed. But I have to endure it, and I hope that I will get better.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

The last two weeks have been difficult, and I had to admit that I can't cope. So I went to a psychiatrist. The doctor wasn't the most tactful. But through tears and humiliation, I got a prescription. And I started taking pills.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

Hello, dear ones I haven't written anything for a long time because something was going on inside me that I couldn't put into words. But now I can. I am completely exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, physically. My “battery” is below zero, my anxiety has reached a critical point, and I've broken down.

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Reposted by 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞

Mintarin ✨ ᴄᴏᴍᴍs ᴏᴘᴇɴ @mintarin.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

WIP 🩵✨

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 29/09/2025

Just a small burnt bun in flour. My husband tried baking bread himself and spilled a bit of flour, huh Also, the streets are already covered in snow with knee-high drifts. It looks so beautiful, like a quiet winter dream

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 29/09/2025

I try to focus on the good things in my life, but it’s hard. I need to pull myself together and work more to cover loan payments and support our life while my husband recovers… Right now it feels overwhelming, and I’m not sure I can manage it. It’s so hard. I just hope I get better soon T.T

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 29/09/2025

Everyone in my family died suddenly, and my mother suffered for a long time in the hospital - that memory still stays with me. Since then, hospitals and ambulances trigger strong anxiety for me. I thought these past two years had healed it a bit, but now it’s all come back along with the nightmares.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 29/09/2025

Because of PTSD after losing my mother (and before that, my father), I panic deeply whenever my husband has health problems. He’s the only one I have, and I’m very afraid of losing him…

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 29/09/2025

My husband is feeling a bit better now and needs fewer painkillers, which is good 💖 But my mental health has taken a hit - too much stress has worsened my anxiety disorder. I’m focusing on resting and taking care of myself. As soon as I can, I plan to see my therapist and get medication.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

I am very worried that I will not be able to support us both... After all, our loan payments are quite large, sigh. This is all so untimely... And it hurts me so much to see him suffering T.T

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

Tomorrow we will go to a neurologist to find out what to do next, but the treatment will take up to six months, during which time he will not be able to work.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

Today my husband had an MRI, and it showed that he has a large hernia in one place and a protrusion in another. The sciatic nerve is severely pinched, which is bad because it could die (I mean the nerve, yes)

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

I feel terrible asking for help again. I'm used to dealing with everything myself, but this year and its events have been just awful.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

But I negotiated with the bank about one of my loans and it seems that I am no longer facing legal action for late payment... Adult life is totally sucks. (Sorry if there are mistakes and inappropriate words in my posts, I don't have the energy to double-check my translator)

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

I am so tired, but I am slowly drawing commissions in the evenings. I hope everything will work out soon...

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

Now we are trying to see a therapist to get a referral for an X-ray - if we have to pay for it, it will be very expensive, so we will go to a regular hospital... I hope the doctor won't refuse, otherwise I will make such a fuss!

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

Fortunately, it's not thrombosis, but now the neurologist is throwing up her hands and sending us for an X-ray. She said it's a very unique case of nerve entrapment... It shouldn't hurt this much!

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

All these days I've been running around with my husband to doctors, with no time for anything else. They scared me that it could be venous thrombosis, so we spent even more money on an ultrasound scan of the veins to rule out this diagnosis.

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

To be honest, I got more useful advice from ChatGPT than from doctors...That's so bad т.т

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

I also really hope that he just needs other prescription medications... Tomorrow we will go to see our regular doctor, maybe other medications will help. We can only go to a private doctor after the 8th (my husband's payday), so we need to at least ease the pain :<

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

It also looks like he won't be able to work for the whole month (he even has trouble walking around the house), so I'm responsible for all the payments and I'm very worried... Why is it that as soon as things start to get better in my life, something bad happens? I'm so tired...

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

He has tried all the painkillers that could possibly help, but if there is any effect, it is short-lived. We want to make an appointment with a private neurologist, and my husband also needs an MRI and possibly nerve block injections, but it's all very expensive...

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

But the appointment with the neurologist is not until September 23, the course of injections is already over (and it didn't really help either), and he is only getting worse. He literally can't even sit down because of the pain 😭

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

By that time, he was feeling worse and the injections weren't helping, so the therapist prescribed different ones and told him to see a neurologist...

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖎𝖑𝖞 @noctisolleily.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

My husband felt pain in his leg at the beginning of last month and went to the emergency room. He was prescribed injections and told to wait for an appointment with a therapist - his appointment was on the 28th.

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