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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 09/10/2026

1/14 📑 𝗔𝗗𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗔𝗡 𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗟: 𝟵 𝗢𝗖𝗧𝗢𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟲 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚: Donald Trump has opened the US market to Russian diesel weeks after signing legislation intended to constrain Russian energy income. He has converted pressure on Putin into prospective revenue.

Screenshot of a US Treasury Office of Foreign Assets Control notice dated 9 October 2026. It announces General License 135, authorising transactions involving the sale, delivery, offloading and importation of diesel fuel of Russian Federation origin.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 09/10/2026

𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗜𝗡 🐾 UK writer Adrian Bott coined the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party at 09:18 BST (not 01:18 ET) on 16 October 2015. The Chief Mouser does not favour leopards eating faces, especially nearby. #No10Keith buttondown.com/TheNexusFile...

Dark-mode screenshot of an X post by British writer Adrian Bott, @Cavalorn, timestamped 9:18 AM on 16 October 2015. It reads: “‘I never thought leopards would eat MY face,’ sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.” The post shows approximately 62,000 reposts and 138,000 likes.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 28/09/2026

And as if by magic... Source/Sauce 🐾: www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Clipping from article:

Later on Monday, Tice shared an X post by his partner Isabel Oakeshott, who said UK law recognised six types of British nationality and that asking for the suspects’ “countries of origin” was among “perfectly reasonable questions”.

The Reform deputy leader added: “Ethnicity? Dual nationals? Asylum seekers? Previous convictions? Known to Prevent / Authorities? Benefits claimants? Living in social housing?”

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 16/09/2026

1/2 𝗞𝗘𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗟𝗙: 𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 At Cadogan Hall last night, the Chief Mouser attended Keith and the Wolf (Peter also featured). Gabriel Prokofiev conducted his grandfather Sergei’s work; narrator @hughbon.bsky.social Prokofiev conducting Prokofiev is a special continuity arrangement of note.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

1/9 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 - 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦🐾 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗖𝗜𝗥𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗦 𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗠: 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧 The Office has examined reports that cats are being allocated to households without procurement, application, or visible authority. #CDS #No10North #No10Keith

Keith, a long-haired ginger Persian cat with a stern expression and tiny pink blep, sits in a leather chair at a dark wooden government desk in No 10 North. One furry paw rests beside an open red ministerial despatch box as he examines a document stamped “SECRET”. At the far-right doorway, the tip of a black cat’s tail, Marlowe’s only visible trace, is disappearing from view.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 08/09/2026

7/7 The Office records: • objective set; • collection authorised; • habitat prepared; • delivery monitored; • evidence published; and • uncertainty retained. An honest benefits-realisation report. Keith is happy. You can tell by the party hat. #Glowworms @unroll.skywriter.blue

Keith, a very fluffy ginger Persian cat with a magnificently flat face and visible Blep, sits behind a polished wooden desk in his Gothic Manchester No 10 North office. He wears a tiny red paper party hat. His expression remains solemn and magnificently grumpy; the hat is the only visual evidence that he is celebrating.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/6 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 🐾 Keith is the ginger Persian Chief Mouser at Gothic No 10 North, Manchester. He examines government, democracy, security, law, science, and institutional absurdity in an evidence-first Senior Civil Service voice. The Office is fictional. The evidence is not. #BlepOfOffice

Keith, a very fluffy ginger Persian cat, fills the frame in an extreme close-up. His round, flat face, dark eyes, long white whiskers, and small protruding pink tongue are visible. This is the original Blep of Office.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/12 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗦𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗢̈𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥’𝗦 𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗫 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗠 The European Commission says the Entry/Exit System has been “fully operational” since April. The Guardian reports that fingerprint kiosks at Dover, Eurotunnel, & St Pancras remain inoperative. Both statements may be true. #SchrödingerBlep

Keith, a magnificently floofy ginger Persian cat, with a cute characteristic blep, inspects an open EES apparatus in the Gothic No 10 North in Manchester. Its green “FULLY OPERATIONAL” and red “KIOSKS INOPERATIVE” lights are illuminated simultaneously. Inside, modern biometric equipment operates beside paperwork and rubber stamps; an unused kiosk remains wrapped in plastic.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/9 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗬 The UN General Assembly has adopted a non-binding resolution encouraging Equal Earth and other equal-area projections for world maps. It has not prohibited Mercator. Cartography has not been placed under emergency powers.

Keith, an exceptionally round and floofy ginger Persian cat with narrowed eyes and a prominent pink Blep, sits gravely at a carved desk in his lamplit Gothic Manchester No 10 North office. He studies a large antique, brass-mounted globe showing Europe, Africa, the Atlantic, and the Americas. A discreet cartographer’s inscription over the United States reads “Here Be Dragons”. Dark oak, old books, maps, leaded windows, and a carved Manchester bee complete the solemn scene.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 04/09/2026

1/10 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗩𝗔𝗟 Government has changed Skilled Worker rules for people recognised as victims of modern slavery. Their conditions may now be amended to permit work for any employer for the rest of their permission. Keith is pleased. You can tell by the party hat. #HappyBlep

A photorealistic landscape portrait of Keith, an exceptionally fluffy, round ginger Persian cat, sitting formally behind a large polished wooden desk in the Gothic No 10 North office. He has a broad, very flat face, heavy-lidded amber eyes, long white whiskers, and his characteristic small pink tongue blep. His expression is profoundly grumpy, tired, and unimpressed. And therefore completely indistinguishable from his happy expression.

A flimsy red paper crown, of the kind found inside a Christmas cracker, sits slightly askew between his ears. It provides the image’s only objective evidence that Keith is celebrating.

Warm morning light enters through tall Gothic windows behind him. Dark carved wood, pointed arches, restrained brass fittings, official papers, and a closed red ministerial box complete the dignified government-office setting. No confetti, balloons, or detectable facial enthusiasm are present.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 01/09/2026

3/3 He may decline to contest the next Farage-induced by-election, however, on the ground that it is “too silly”. British politics would thereby be rejected on seriousness grounds by a 5,900-year-old space warrior wearing a bin. The Office regards the assessment as closed to challenge. #No10Keith

Landscape, photorealistic fantasy image of Keith, a very large, long-haired ginger Persian cat, sitting formally on a mirror-polished mahogany conference table in the Gothic No 10 North briefing room. An upside-down, weathered galvanised metal bucket rests on his head like an absurdly oversized helmet, but leaves his broad, grumpy face, amber eyes, whiskers, and tiny pink blep completely visible.

Loose election papers lie beside his front paws. Behind him are carved dark-wood panelling, leather chairs, bookshelves, red ministerial boxes, and a glowing green desk lamp. Cool moonlight enters through an enormous pointed Gothic window, beyond which a full moon, clouds, and a shadowy Manchester tower can be seen. Keith looks profoundly unimpressed by the candidate-assessment process.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 01/09/2026

For wider circulation among colleagues with responsibility for public administration, institutional memory, and unexplained rustling: @ukgovcamp.com @gavinfreeguard.com @fdaunion.bsky.social The Office is grateful for appropriate onward distribution of this communiqué.

Colleagues,

At the opening of a new season of boxes, I wish to record my appreciation for the work undertaken across the Departmental Mousing Service. Much of it occurs beneath desks, behind panels, and beyond the sightline of those who later announce that nothing happened. That is often evidence of success.

Departmental Mousers occupy a distinctive constitutional position. We are permanent, impartial, and politically untempted, except by chicken.

We advise by presence, challenge through prolonged eye contact, and intervene where the evidence moves independently across the floor.

Recent experience has confirmed the value of coordinated action. A mouse crossing an organisational boundary does not become somebody else’s mouse merely because responsibility for the skirting board is disputed. Nor does an empty bowl cease to be empty because the dashboard remains green.
The Cabinet Mousing Secretariat will therefore take the following practical steps:

- establish a cross-government forum for sharing rodent intelligence, operational learning, and places of dependable afternoon sunlight;
- issue common guidance on secure treat storage, evidential sniffing, and the proportionate escalation of an empty-bowl incident;
- pilot short placements between departments, allowing specialist mousers to build capability without being permanently relocated into the Treasury; and
- develop assurance arrangements for automated laser pointers, subject to confirmation that the red dot exists, is reachable, and represents value for money.

It has also been observed that a recent communication of general circulation bore no pawprint. The Office neither confirms nor denies feline involvement in correspondence distributed above the appropriate protective marking. Absence of a pawprint should not be taken as absence of scrutiny. Some assets are simply too valuable to identify in open circulation.

Please exercise care with material found at the bottom of Red Boxes. [Limit reached]

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 01/09/2026

An all-mouser communiqué has been issued. Distribution is invited among colleagues who know that an empty bowl does not cease to be empty merely because the dashboard remains green. @jillongovt.bsky.social @civilserviceworld.bsky.social @ukcivilservant.bsky.social #CivilService #No10Keith #Whitehall

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 31/08/2026

1/9 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 – 𝗧𝗨𝗡𝗔-𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 Following an unfortunate Tuna Treat Excess incident, Keith has been unable to sleep. He has therefore been reading papers concealed at the bottom of several Red Boxes, where ministers rarely disturb them. #HiddenDelights #TunaExcess

Wide, cinematic night-time scene in the Gothic briefing room at No 10 North. Keith, an enormous, long-haired ginger Persian cat, is wedged uncomfortably inside an open red ministerial dispatch box on a vast, mirror-polished mahogany conference table. His dense orange fur overflows the box, both huge forepaws droop over its front edge, his amber eyes are narrowed with exhausted displeasure, and a tiny pink blep protrudes beneath his flat Persian nose.

Official papers, folders, red ribbons, pencils, and several closed Red Boxes have been scattered liberally across the table. Keith, his box, the documents, and the tall windows are reflected vividly in the dark wood. A green-shaded brass lamp casts a small pool of warm light from the left, contrasting with cold blue moonlight entering through pointed, traceried windows. Beyond them, a full moon hangs over the shadowy Manchester skyline. Dark carved bookcases, a formal portrait, and high-backed Gothic chairs complete the deserted room.

The implied plot mechanism is that, unable to sleep following an unfortunate Tuna Treat Excess incident, Keith attempted to occupy the Red Box and displaced the papers hidden beneath him—thereby exposing material previously secured by its position at the bottom, where ministers rarely looked.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 30/08/2026

4/13 Had Neil Armstrong left an ideal atomic clock running on the Moon in July 1969, it would now be approximately 1.2 seconds ahead of a comparable clock on Earth. For breakfast meetings, this is tolerable. For precision navigation, 1.2 seconds is an administrative crater. #BlepOfRelativity

Keith, a very large, long-haired ginger Persian cat with a flat, profoundly disapproving face and tiny pink blep, sits behind an enormous dark wooden desk in his Gothic No 10 North office. He is positioned between two elaborate brass precision chronometers: the terrestrial clock on his left has a deep-blue enamel face, while the lunar clock on his right is cold silver. Their hands differ slightly, representing the relativistic disagreement between clocks on Earth and the Moon.

The desk is covered with overlapping astronomical charts, orbital diagrams, handwritten calculations, a brass magnifying glass, measuring calipers, a pen, and black official dossiers tied with red ribbon. One is marked “Official Metrology Dossier”; another refers to relativistic timekeeping and lunar verification. A small lunar globe stands beside the clocks.

Behind Keith, a brass telescope points through tall Gothic windows towards an enormous full Moon above Manchester’s modern night-time skyline. Warm amber lamplight illuminates Keith, the brass instruments, and carved bookshelves, contrasting with the cold blue-silver moonlight outside. The scene treats Keith’s audit of spacetime with absolute governmental solemnity.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 30/08/2026

3/3 Steady-state probabilities: Stop: 96.6% Swim: 3.3% Reorient: 0.03% Keith finds 96.6% a familiar personal estimate of time spent asleep. The Office welcomes empirical confirmation that prolonged inactivity remains compatible with a rich behavioural manifold. #No10Keith @unroll.skywriter.blue

Keith, an enormous, extravagantly fluffy ginger Persian cat, sleeps sprawled across a dark wooden desk in his Gothic No 10 North office. His broad, flat face rests on an open volume headed “Ciliary Dynamics”; his eyes are firmly closed, while his small pink tongue remains extended in a conspicuous blep. One heavy forepaw and his vast plume-like tail lie across overlapping papers and textbooks.

The scholarly debris includes volumes headed “Protistology”, “Chebyshev Polynomials”, and “Stochastic Processes”, with microscopy drawings of single-celled organisms, waveform graphs, equations, annotated pages, and coloured index tabs. A paper titled “Embodied Behavioural Complexity” displays a state-transition diagram linking Stop, Swim, and Reorient; the adjacent pages contain continuous-time Markov-chain notation.

A brass desk lamp bathes Keith and the papers in warm amber light. Beside it, a nameplate reads “Keith — Chief Mouser of No 10 North”. Behind him, rain streaks tall pointed windows overlooking Manchester’s dark, illuminated skyline. The intellectual material is formidable. Its principal reader is achieving the predicted 96.6% Stop state.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 29/08/2026

𝗞𝗘𝗜𝗧𝗛’𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗨𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀; 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗔𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 Naps completed: 14 Briefings ignored: 6 Officials removed from chairs: 3 Mice detected: 0 Chicken allocation: materially below target The administration remains stable. Remuneration negotiations continue. #No10North #No10Keith #Review

Keith, an enormous, long-haired ginger Persian cat, sits with formidable displeasure in a tall burgundy leather chair behind an ornately carved desk in the Gothic No 10 North office. His amber eyes glare towards the viewer, and a small pink blep protrudes beneath his flattened Persian nose. One substantial paw rests on a red leather government folder clearly titled “ANNUAL REVIEW” in gold; the other is positioned beside an ornate silver dish containing a single, conspicuously inadequate cube of chicken. A neglected pile of briefing papers sits to his left. Three empty office chairs have been displaced to the far side of the room, while rain runs down pointed Gothic windows overlooking Manchester’s illuminated modern skyline. No mice are visible. The annual assessment appears complete; remuneration negotiations plainly are not.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 28/08/2026

9/9 The adjoining chair was empty. Officials have been unable to establish whether this represented Marlowe’s arrival or departure. The investigation continues. So does the defence of Ukraine’s industrial lifelines. #No10Keith #Marlowe #StandWithUkraine @unroll.skywriter.blue

A wide, almost entirely black image of Marlowe, a sleek black cat and the Secret Intelligence Service counterpart to Keith, concealed in the shadows of a gloomy Gothic corridor. A narrow strip of cold, bluish light glints along the wet-looking, textured stone floor at the far left, faintly revealing the edge of a doorway or massive dark wall. Everything beyond it recedes into near-total darkness.

From that darkness, slightly right of centre, Marlowe’s pale green, almond-shaped eyes stare directly towards the viewer, their narrow vertical pupils clearly feline. The outline of her black face and body has almost completely merged with the surrounding shadows; only the faintest whiskers can be discerned. Beneath her eyes remains a small, unmistakably Cheshire-Cat-like grin formed from a short row of tiny, pointed white teeth. Her ears, paws, and the rest of her body are no longer visible, leaving it deliberately uncertain whether Marlowe is materialising from the darkness or has already vanished into it.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 28/08/2026

8/26 HOLMES did not solve crimes by computerised intuition. It gave a vast enquiry an administrative memory: source material, unique references, indices, cross-references, actions, results, exhibits, and disclosure. At this scale, organisation is not clerical support. It is evidential integrity.

Wide, cinematic illustration of Keith in the Gothic administrative offices of No 10 North. Keith is a very large, broad, extravagantly fluffy ginger Persian cat with a flat, solemn face, amber eyes, immense furry forepaws, and a tiny pink blep. He sits commandingly behind a heavy dark-wood desk wearing a brown tweed deerstalker; there is no pipe, his protruding tongue providing the feline substitute. A brass desk lamp casts warm amber light across tied bundles of documents, ranks of card-index drawers, and wooden trays packed with ageing case files and red ribbons. Behind Keith, an elderly computer terminal glows with lines of green text. The cavernous office recedes through carved arches towards tall Gothic windows filled with cold blue-grey daylight. A brass nameplate identifies Keith as Chief Mouser of No 10 North. The image treats the deerstalker joke seriously: Keith appears to be guarding the organised institutional memory of an enormous, decades-long enquiry.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 28/08/2026

1/10 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 – 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 – 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 & 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗬𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗬 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗦𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗗𝗘𝗖𝗞 More than 100 firms warn that AI-enabled attacks may overwhelm existing defences “within months”. The Office’s sleep was interrupted. Sources/Sauces🐾 www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Keith, a very large, long-haired ginger Persian cat, sits grumpily awake on the stone sill of a tall Gothic window at No 10 North. His dense fur is sleep-tousled, his amber eyes are narrowed resentfully and a small pink blep protrudes beneath his flat Persian nose; his enormous plume tail cascades almost to the floor. Outside, a copper-red eclipsed Moon hangs over Manchester’s dark pre-dawn skyline. A dim amber lamp illuminates a closed red ministerial box and an abandoned cup of tea. Having been awakened at an antisocial hour by the technology sector’s dramatic cyber-security warning, Keith regards the rare lunar eclipse as scant compensation for the lost snooze.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 26/08/2026

4/9 Under the present guidance, each household finances, procures, stores, rotates, and replaces its own reserve. Government holds no central inventory of the result and cannot know who is prepared until the emergency has begun. A strategic reserve with neither strategy nor assurance. #BlepOfTuna

Keith, a very large and fluffy ginger Persian cat, sleeps awkwardly across the uneven summit of dozens of stacked, unlabelled silver food tins. His eyes are closed, his pink tongue bleps, and one forepaw and his enormous tail hang over the edge as though he has personally requisitioned the reserve for inspection. Behind him is a gloomy Gothic alcove at No 10 North, with dark carved wood, a weak amber lantern and rain streaking tall pointed windows above the Manchester skyline. The squat bare-metal containers look suspiciously like tins of tuna, perhaps explaining Keith’s unusually close supervision.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 26/08/2026

The Office has reviewed a parody proposal to rename Lake Michigan “Lake Epstein”. Canada has no jurisdiction over Lake Michigan. The United States cannot rename Canada’s part of Lake Ontario. The first is satire. The second is presidential policy. Their extraterritorial authority is identical.

Screenshot of a real post from a parody account styled as Ontario premier Doug Ford. It reads: “The people of Canada will be giving serious consideration to changing the name of Lake Michigan…” Beneath is a map of Lake Michigan (wholly within the United States) relabelled “Lake Epstein”. The joke mirrors Donald Trump’s proposal to rename the shared Lake Ontario “Lake America”, while invoking the Epstein files.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 25/08/2026

1/19 𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 - 𝗨𝗞/𝗨𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬🐾 NO. 10 NORTH UNITED NATIONS BACKUP LOCATION & ESTATE PROGRAMME UN-BLEP: REVIEW NOTE From: Keith, Permanent Secretary and Cabinet Mouser #UN #UK #No10North #UNHQ #Relocation

A wide, richly detailed view of Keith, an enormous, luxuriantly long-haired ginger Persian cat, sleeping across a red ministerial dispatch box on the carved wooden desk of No. 10 North. His thick coat and magnificent ruff almost engulf the box; the huge plume-like tail spills over its left edge, while his broad, flat Persian face rests between two paws. His eyes are firmly closed and a generous pink blep protrudes from his mouth. The box bears a crown and the gold lettering “TOP SECRET — UK/UN PAWS ONLY: UN-BLEP”. A brass desk lamp illuminates the polished wood, old files and trailing red and purple ribbons. Behind Keith, towering bookcases and elaborate Gothic panelling recede into shadow, while rain streaks the tall windows overlooking Manchester. The Cabinet Mouser appears serenely confident that the classified contingency plan is now adequately secured beneath him.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 24/08/2026

The vacancy is not expected materially to diminish the present level of constructive engagement. Zero Ferrero Rocher were received during His Excellency’s tenure. The Office is therefore content for this interim arrangement to acquire a degree of permanence. #BlepOfDiplomaticRightSizing #No10Keith

Square, richly detailed illustration of Keith, a generously proportioned ginger tabby, loafed on a green leather-topped table in a grand, dark-panelled government room. He fixes the viewer with a profoundly unimpressed expression while displaying a conspicuous pink blep.

Beside him stands an immaculate pyramid of gold-wrapped Ferrero Rocher chocolates, recalling the famously lavish ambassador’s-reception advert. A formal inventory card reads: “PROCURED DOMESTICALLY
NOT PROVIDED BY
THE FORMER AMBASSADOR.”

Beyond the rain-streaked window are Manchester’s Gothic civic buildings and a passing yellow-and-grey tram.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 24/08/2026

3/3 Washington appears to have mistaken a national language for a non-tariff barrier. Ottawa has advised that French is not an administrative inconvenience to be waived for American exporters, but part of the country to which they wish to export. Even the Colonel managed the paperwork. 🐾 #Québec

A slightly blurred photograph of a grey stone fried-chicken restaurant beneath an overcast sky, with red awnings and the familiar red-and-white portrait of Colonel Sanders. The signs use the initials “PFK” rather than “KFC”. In Québec, the chain uses the French name Poulet Frit Kentucky, the equivalent of Kentucky Fried Chicken, so the initials follow French word order, reflecting adaptation to Québécois language and culture.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 23/08/2026

1/6 𝗔 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝗱 About 45 applications for English onshore windfarms were submitted in the year to March: the highest annual level for a decade. It appears England remained windy throughout. #OnshoreWind #EnergyPolicy #No10Keith #No10North

Whimsical, richly detailed portrait of Keith, a long-haired ginger Persian cat, seated solemnly behind an ornately carved desk in a Gothic government study. An administratively important brass desk fan blasts from the left, sweeping his luxuriant fur sideways while his stern expression and tiny pink blep remain composed. Briefing papers and coloured ribbons flutter beside a green lamp and red dispatch box; rain and Gothic Manchester towers are visible through the windows.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 22/08/2026

1/8 An Initial Administrative Assessment of the Government’s No10 North From autumn, teams of 5–10 civil servants will be seconded into each of 18 mayoral strategic authorities for 6–9 months. Mayors may request the skills they need. This is, subject to delivery nuances, a good idea.

Wide, richly detailed illustration of Keith, a fluffy orange Persian cat with a visible pink Blep, presiding over an enormous carved desk in a Gothic Manchester office. Rain streaks the arched windows; the city’s red-brick buildings and modern skyline are visible beyond. Three apprehensive Whitehall officials stand opposite with luggage, plans and a new brass plaque reading “NO10 NORTH”. Keith already has an identical, older plaque. A large file on his desk reads “LICENSING: PENDING DELIVERY METRICS”, while a map of England behind him is marked with brass pins.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Keith has reviewed the 3 acts. The CIA apparently controls Russia’s hotels, airlines, nerve agents, intelligence surveillance, presidential permissions, courts, & prisons. No 10 North’s preliminary finding: Russia may need protection from Russia. #Navalny #RussianPropaganda #No10North #No10Keith

A high, wide view across a gloriously Gothic study at night. Keith, a long-haired orange Persian cat with a tiny pink blep, sits absorbed at a vast antique desk buried beneath absurdly thick intelligence dossiers. Most are tied shut with red ribbons and several with purple. The enormous central file is clearly marked “TOP SECRET - UK CATS ONLY”. Dark carved wood, soaring pointed arches, bookcases, a stone fireplace, burgundy curtains, brass lamps and the rain-dark Manchester skyline fill the room.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №6 No particular reason. Keith was awake, and teamwork matters. #Keith #CatLogic #YoureWelcome #No10Keith #No10North #BlepOfTeamwork @unroll.skywriter.blue

Three-a.m. teamwork: In a moonlit bedroom, Keith stares directly at the sleeper with one paw planted insistently on the covers; Manchester is visible through the window.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №5 Keith required the warm part of the bed. Regrettably, you were on it. #Keith #FelinePriorities #CompulsoryPurchase #No10Keith #No10North

Compulsory acquisition: Keith sprawls across the sun-warmed centre of an ornate four-poster bed, leaving very little usable space for anybody else.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №4 You had been asleep for several hours and were therefore dangerously unsupervised. Keith intervened. #Keith #CatSupervisor #DutyOfCare #No10Keith #No10North #BlepOfREM

Dangerously unsupervised: Seen from the sleeper’s viewpoint at dawn, Keith looms over the bed and presses one paw firmly into the duvet during an urgent welfare check. Burgundy curtains behind him.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №3 A door was closed. Keith did not want to go through it, but objected to the principle. #Keith #CatLogic #FreedomOfMovement #No10Keith #No10North

Constitutional objection: Keith sits before a closed black Victorian door in a grand hallway, one paw raised against it in formal protest, on principle.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №2 Something outside moved. Possibly a bird. Possibly a leaf impersonating a bird. Outside #No10North maybe it is the SAS. Again. Either way, you needed briefing. #Keith #CatIntelligence #NeighbourhoodWatch #No10Keith

Neighbourhood surveillance: Keith perches on a dark wooden windowsill overlooking Gothic Westminster buildings, suspiciously watching a single windblown autumn leaf.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Things Keith Considered More Important Than Your Sleep, №1 A tiny patch of bowl was visible beneath the food. Rations were clearly failing. #Keith #CatLogic #FelinePriorities #No10Keith #No10North #BlepOfBreakfast

Ration crisis: Keith sits in a grand black-and-brass kitchen, glaring beside an ornate silver dish piled with food; one paw rests near a tiny visible patch of the bowl’s bottom.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/08/2026

Castelul Bran (not Brom) well worth a visit. Peleș is impressive both inside and out. Almost as dramatic as No 10 North on a stormy Manchester evening 🐈🐾

At stormy blue-grey dusk, the ornate Gothic red-brick façade of No 10 North overlooks a rain-soaked Manchester street. Warm lanterns illuminate the arched black door marked 10, wet stone steps and worker-bee emblems in the wrought-iron railings. Reflections shimmer across the curving cobbles, with a clock tower and city buildings beneath heavy clouds in the distance.

Bran Castle in Transilvania, România, popularly associated with Dracula, rises dramatically from a sheer grey rock outcrop. Its white fortified walls, narrow windows and red-roofed towers stand against a pale blue autumn sky. Gold and rust-coloured trees frame the castle, while flags, dark wooden buildings and white market tents sit below.

Peleș Castle in Sinaia, România, rises against a vivid blue sky, with cream façades, dark carved-timber galleries, patterned slate roofs and slender fairy-tale towers. Visitors gather on the grand stone terraces below, beside ornate balustrades and a hunting-dog statue. Dense green and early-autumn woodland surrounds the castle, while scaffolding covers part of its right wing.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 19/08/2026

1/11 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 SUBJECT: Russia; threats to the UK ISSUE: Moscow says Britain will pay a “higher price” and face “consequences” over reports that Ukraine used British-built drones. The threat has been recorded. Keith’s snack continues. 🧵 www.theguardian.com/world/2026/a...

Keith, a fluffy ginger Persian cat, sits at a carved wooden desk in warm lamplight, calmly chewing a fish-shaped biscuit. His china dish of treats rests on an unopened red diplomatic dossier, demoting Moscow’s latest threat to a placemat. Rain streaks the Gothic window behind him; Keith appears concerned only by the rate of biscuit replenishment.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 17/08/2026

10/10 FINAL FINDING A sceptic examines evidence. A fool declares there is none. A propagandist hopes nobody checks. Tice: scientifically wrong, morally repellent, and too dim to see the hole he keeps digging. Keith 👅 #ClimateCrisis #ReformUK #BlepOfScienceNotIgnorance @unroll.skywriter.blue

Keith, a fluffy ginger Persian cat with his tongue always slightly protruding in the Belp of Office, sits inside a slightly open fridge with just his floofy orange tail showing. He has no personal interest in Richard Tice’s sparkling wine; he merely wants somewhere cool enough to nap for 23 hours a day, displaying a firmer grasp of climate risk than Tice.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 16/08/2026

1/14 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟-𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘: 𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗬 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗣𝗨𝗕𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 SUBMISSION Differentiated acoustic indications for UK Emergency Alerts Purpose: agreement to investigate whether one alarming noise is insufficiently specific. Timing: Routine, save at Level 1. #EmergencyAlerts

Wide cinematic scene inside a Gothic government research facility. Keith, a very fluffy orange Persian cat with a stern flat face and visible pink tongue blep, sits at a dark control desk beside audio equipment and briefing papers. Through a large one-way mirror, six focus-group participants recoil from a sudden alarm sounded by wall speakers. Two suited researchers observe them while CCTV monitors show additional views. Warm lamplight on Keith contrasts with the cold blue-grey test chamber.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 16/08/2026

@specialkhersoncat.bsky.social 1/11 𝗔 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗧 𝗔𝗗𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗠𝗢𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗪’𝗦 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗔 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗢 Footage shows a major warehouse fire at Koledino after an overnight attack. The precise building, cause & damage remain unconfirmed. Enthusiasm will therefore be held pending evidence. #OSINT

View across densely packed high-rise apartment blocks beneath an overcast sky. An enormous, dark grey column of smoke billows upwards from behind the buildings, spreading broadly across the skyline.

Elevated view across roads, low industrial buildings and distant apartment blocks. A vast, dense column of dark smoke rises behind the residential skyline; an orange glow is visible beneath the clouds to the left and near the base of the plume.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 15/08/2026

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲: Alert: “report signs of fire immediately by calling 999”. Control rooms then received enough calls about barbecues to delay emergency calls. Some users followed the specification literally. The requirement was clarified in production. Keith. #EmergencyAlert #PublicSafety

Screenshot of a Surrey Fire & Rescue Service post asking people to call 999 only for an emergency or fire producing significant smoke, after its control room received many calls about neighbours’ barbecues, bonfires and campfires. It advises contacting the local council about contained nuisance fires, and calling 999 if fire is spreading or threatens people or property.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/08/2026

1/9 𝗔 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 This evening the Government made the widest active-incident use yet of its emergency-alert system, across England and Wales, to say: please do not introduce flame to tinder. This should not have required escalation. #Wildfires

Screenshot of a UK Government “Severe alert” warning of a very high wildfire risk. It tells residents, landowners and visitors not to use disposable barbecues, firepits, garden incinerators or fireworks, and to report signs of fire immediately by calling 999.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/08/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗞𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗹𝗶𝗻’𝘀 𝗗𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗶𝗻 1/12 A cautious administrative note on the reported damage at Chonhar. Image seemingly shows a dropped bridge span but I have not yet found independent, dated confirmation of this fresh image. Accordingly: treating as reported, not yet certified. #Ukraine #OSINT

Low-resolution satellite image, reportedly showing the Chonhar railway bridge over green water. A substantial section of the bridge deck appears broken or displaced, with dark damage visible near the adjoining embankment.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 13/08/2026

1/8 ELECTORAL MATERIALS: EXCEPTION REPORT Clacton voters have been issued with a ballot paper listing 34 candidates and measuring roughly 90cm long. This is believed to be the longest ballot paper in British parliamentary history. The document is operationally significant. #Clacton #No10Keith

The ballot paper for the parliamentary by-election in Clacton, as this replica shows, clocks in at 90cm long

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 13/08/2026

The universe is magnificent. Let’s prepare people to enjoy it safely. #ISO12312_2 #EclipseSafety #PublicSafety #No10Keith

Keith, a very fluffy ginger Persian cat, sits in a compact loaf atop an ornate neo-Gothic clock tower overlooking Manchester. His paws are tucked away and his pink tongue points towards the Sun. He wears black cardboard ISO-standard eclipse glasses; both dark lenses reflect the same slender crescent Sun. Warm evening light illuminates his round face and fur. The scene represents maximum eclipse at about 19:10 BST: 91.3% of the Sun obscured, at azimuth 278° west, slightly north of due west, and 12.4° above the horizon.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 13/08/2026

🐈 Keith has examined the data: Searches for “my eyes hurt” peaking after a solar eclipse suggest that some safety information arrived approximately one retina too late. #ISO12312_2 #EclipseSafety #PublicSafety #No10Keith

Google search data for "my eyes hurt" (in English) for the UK following the eclipse of 12 August. Clear spike in the searches following unsafe & unwise viewing practices.

Google search data for "my eyes hurt" (in French) for France following the eclipse of 12 August. Clear spike in the searches following unsafe & unwise viewing practices.

Google search data for "my eyes hurt" (in Spanish) for Spain following the eclipse of 12 August. Clear spike in the searches following unsafe & unwise viewing practices.

Google search data for "my eyes hurt" (in Norwegian) for Norway following the eclipse of 12 August. Clear spike in the searches following unsafe & unwise viewing practices.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 12/08/2026

A rather lovely 91% partial solar eclipse over Manchester this evening; one spherical object passing in front of another, watched from different angles and at different times by people all around the world. #SolarEclipse #Manchester

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 11/08/2026

7/8 CLIMATE CONTROL UPDATE The Sun has been asked to moderate its behaviour. It remains an unregulated fusion reactor and has declined to engage. Keith will occupy the coolest location and maintain strategic immobility until atmospheric governance improves. #ContinuityOfBlep #No10Keith

Wide, richly detailed illustration of the No. 10 North kitchen. The ancient room has vaulted Gothic stonework, tall pointed-arch windows, carved dark-oak cupboards and a worn flagstone floor, but is fitted with gleaming modern appliances, including an oven, stand mixer, digital display and espresso machine. Fierce golden summer sunlight streams through the windows. A huge brushed-steel refrigerator dominates the foreground, one door slightly ajar and emitting a cold blue-white glow. From the lower door gap protrudes an enormous, luxuriantly fluffy orange tail, curling lazily across the cool stone floor. No other part of Keith is visible: he has apparently climbed inside the fridge for a discreet heatwave snooze.

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