iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20h

1/4 🚨 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗖𝗛 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬: 𝗠𝗜𝟱 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗧 MI5 says the China General Technology Research Institute funds academic research to improve Chinese intelligence’s espionage capability. Its warning concerns the concealed sponsor behind apparently legitimate collaboration.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 30/09/2026

1/5 📑 𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗖𝗘: 𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚: Reforming pension uprating is defensible. The care settlement remains unfinished. Savings must fund a costed entitlement, staff, and providers. A funding formula cannot deliver a care visit.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 28/09/2026

1/9 𝗖𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗚𝗡 𝗔𝗗: 𝗣𝗨𝗕𝗟𝗜𝗖 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗬 The US is paying to air a Trump ad virtually identical to a 2024 campaign version. The Office has found a new payer. It is still looking for a public service. apnews.com/article/trum...

apnews.com

Trump administration begins airing 2024 Trump campaign ad in latest taxpayer-funded messaging

The Trump administration is using taxpayer funds to air a television advertisement from Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign in the latest in a series of ads promoting the president ahead of the ...

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 27/09/2026

1/10 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥-𝗙𝗥𝗔𝗨𝗗: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 The MoJ has issued a five-year strategy to prevent fraud. It states no loss baseline or numerical reduction target. A plan to reduce an amount it declines to state. www.gov.uk/government/p...

gov.uk

MOJ Counter Fraud Strategy 2026 to 2030

MOJ has designed a comprehensive and targeted 5 year strategy to tackle fraud, bribery and corruption, in line with the wider government counter fraud strategy.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 26/09/2026

1/8 𝗣𝗢𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗕𝗬 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗬 The White House says Trump is using a “pocket rescission” for nearly $1bn. The term is obscure. The device is not. www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-st...

whitehouse.gov

President Trump Takes Historic Action to Eliminate Wasteful and Harmful Spending

President Trump is committed to utilizing all possible tools to cut wasteful and harmful government spending that does not benefit American citizens. Last

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 25/09/2026

1/8 𝗔𝗜 𝗜𝗡𝗙𝗥𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘: 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗨𝗧𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 Loughton’s AI supercomputer was due in 2027. Sufficient grid power may not arrive until the early-to-mid 2030s. Compute was commissioned before electricity. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

theguardian.com

Launch of UK’s ‘largest AI supercomputer’ delayed by power supply problems

Datacentre hailed by government was supposed to start operating next year but may be held back into mid-2030s

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 22/09/2026

1/10 𝗦𝗔𝗨𝗗𝗜 𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗗𝗝𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟 Britain will send an RAF Voyager to refuel Saudi aircraft in-flight after a request for support against Houthi attacks. The mission is described as limited, time-bound, and “defensive”. apnews.com/article/c736...

apnews.com

UK to offer Saudi Arabia aerial refueling to counter Houthi attacks

Prime Minister Andy Burnham says Britain has agreed to provide limited military support to Saudi Arabia to repeal attacks by Iran-backed Houthi rebels in Yemen.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 20/09/2026

1/12 𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗔’𝗦 𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗧𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗜𝗖𝗘 Russia is electing a parliament. It has excluded the only registered anti-war party from the national list, declined independent OSCE observation, restricted domestic monitors, and opened polls in occupied Ukraine. The stationery survives.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 18/09/2026

1/16 𝗨𝗦 𝗠𝗨𝗡𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗩𝗘-𝗬𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗 The US is warning allies that some weapons deliveries may be delayed by up to five years while it rebuilds depleted stocks. The Office notes that this is not a scheduling variance. It is a disclosed strategic capacity failure. #Defence #DFENS

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 17/09/2026

1/10 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗗𝗔–𝗘𝗨: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 “𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗟𝗘 𝗔𝗖𝗧” 𝗢𝗙 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 The EU has proposed making Canada its first “associate member”. President Trump called the idea “laughable”, suggested it could be a “hostile act”, and threatened heavy tariffs. #Canada #EU

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 17/09/2026

1/8 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗔𝗖𝗜𝗧𝗬: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗-𝗕𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗔𝗟 Leaked documents suggest officials are examining whether to put second beds into prefabricated prison cells designed for one. No final decision has been taken. This is a proposal requiring scrutiny. #Prisons

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 16/09/2026

1/2 𝗞𝗘𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗟𝗙: 𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 At Cadogan Hall last night, the Chief Mouser attended Keith and the Wolf (Peter also featured). Gabriel Prokofiev conducted his grandfather Sergei’s work; narrator @hughbon.bsky.social Prokofiev conducting Prokofiev is a special continuity arrangement of note.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

The Office is deeply sorry to learn of the death of Roy Burnham, the Prime Minister’s father. Our thoughts are with the Prime Minister, his family, and all who cared for Roy Burnham during his illness. No further business will be issued from this Office today.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

1/9 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 - 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦🐾 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗖𝗜𝗥𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗦 𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗠: 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧 The Office has examined reports that cats are being allocated to households without procurement, application, or visible authority. #CDS #No10North #No10Keith

Keith, a long-haired ginger Persian cat with a stern expression and tiny pink blep, sits in a leather chair at a dark wooden government desk in No 10 North. One furry paw rests beside an open red ministerial despatch box as he examines a document stamped “SECRET”. At the far-right doorway, the tip of a black cat’s tail, Marlowe’s only visible trace, is disappearing from view.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

1/10 𝗗𝗪𝗣 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗥’𝗦 𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 DWP must examine 200,000 cases; 3,000 have been reviewed. So 1.5%. About 25,000 may receive refunds or reduced debts. www.theguardian.com/society/2026...

theguardian.com

Unpaid carers could die before seeing justice for overpayments scandal, charities warn

Campaigners say at current glacial pace some may be waiting years before receiving a refund from DWP

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

1/8 𝗨𝗞𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗘: 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧 President Trump says Zelenskyy “has to stop knocking out diesel fuel in Russia” because shortages hurt the world. The invaded state has been asked to preserve the aggressor’s fuel system. #Ukraine apnews.com/article/17bb...

apnews.com

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 14/09/2026

1/6 𝗚𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗚𝗜𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗬: 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦-𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗟 𝗙𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗨𝗥𝗘 A flaw in Georgia’s voting system may allow public records to reveal how some people voted. It does not alter votes or affect the count. It compromises privacy. #ElectionSecurity apnews.com/article/7338...

apnews.com

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 13/09/2026

1/16 𝗚𝗟𝗢𝗕𝗔𝗟 𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘: 𝗔𝗡 𝗜𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬 £70m in public seed funding. Opening due in 2025. Neither test loop built. £330m in private capital still absent. The Office has opened the file. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

bbc.co.uk

Planned Powys rail centre not built despite £70m spend

The site has not found private-sector funding because the risk is "too great," its boss says.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 13/09/2026

Reports suggest No 10 North may acquire a cat, with GCHQ consent. The Office notes that the post is occupied. “Gary” and “Barry” may be retained as consultants, subject to competence and conflicts checks. The Blep of Office is already allocated. www.thesun.co.uk/news/4035949... #No10North

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 12/09/2026

1/10 𝗣𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗪𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥: 𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧-𝗢𝗖𝗖𝗨𝗣𝗜𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗠 Mark Thompson identifies the decisive issue. Parliament is both client and occupant. Those choosing the delivery option bear its inconvenience; taxpayers bear its cost. The incentives require rather more restoration than the stonework.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 12/09/2026

1/5 𝗔𝗡 𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗧𝗘𝗗 #𝗥𝗡𝗟𝗜 𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗚𝗡 RNLI staff and volunteers have faced online and physical abuse after rescuing people in the Channel. Crew members’ names and photographs were circulated. Police guarded its headquarters, and one lifeboat museum closed after volunteers were abused.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 12/09/2026

1/10 𝗚𝗕 𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗚𝗥𝗜𝗗: 𝗔𝗨𝗗𝗜𝗧 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 Britain’s @nao.org.uk has audited the electricity-transmission programme. Ofgem estimates £70bn must be invested between 2025 and 2031. Announcing generation without delivering transmission is an instruction to produce electricity which cannot travel.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 11/09/2026

1/2 1346BST/0846EDT 25 years ago, 2,977 people were killed in the attacks of 11 September 2001. For the present Chief Mouser, this is inherited institutional memory. For millions of people, it remains direct and indelible. The Office pauses to remember the dead and all who still carry that day.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 11/09/2026

1/12 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗙 𝗩𝗜𝗚𝗜𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 South Korea has introduced an app allowing some stalking survivors to see the real-time location of the person from whom they are at risk. The Office finds both value and questions.

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Reposted by Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody

Larry the Cat @number10cat.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Since its foundation in 1824 the bravery of Royal National Lifeboat Institution volunteers has saved more than 146,700 lives at sea. Hundreds of those volunteers have died attempting to save others. They are the best of us.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 08/09/2026

1/14 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗧 Government is considering whether to retain Palantir’s £330m NHS Federated Data Platform contract. The supplier sells systems for analysing complex evidence. The case for retaining it must therefore survive analysis.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 08/09/2026

1/7 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗩𝗔𝗟 After an absence of more than a century, glowworms are shining again at Nosterfield nature reserve in North Yorkshire. Up to twelve glowing females were recorded over successive weeks this summer. The Office has authorised a modest celebration.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/6 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 🐾 Keith is the ginger Persian Chief Mouser at Gothic No 10 North, Manchester. He examines government, democracy, security, law, science, and institutional absurdity in an evidence-first Senior Civil Service voice. The Office is fictional. The evidence is not. #BlepOfOffice

Keith, a very fluffy ginger Persian cat, fills the frame in an extreme close-up. His round, flat face, dark eyes, long white whiskers, and small protruding pink tongue are visible. This is the original Blep of Office.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/12 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗦𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗢̈𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥’𝗦 𝗖𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗫 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗠 The European Commission says the Entry/Exit System has been “fully operational” since April. The Guardian reports that fingerprint kiosks at Dover, Eurotunnel, & St Pancras remain inoperative. Both statements may be true. #SchrödingerBlep

Keith, a magnificently floofy ginger Persian cat, with a cute characteristic blep, inspects an open EES apparatus in the Gothic No 10 North in Manchester. Its green “FULLY OPERATIONAL” and red “KIOSKS INOPERATIVE” lights are illuminated simultaneously. Inside, modern biometric equipment operates beside paperwork and rubber stamps; an unused kiosk remains wrapped in plastic.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/12 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗧 Maryam, a Palestinian mother with cancer, died in Gaza on 28 August. Her family had applied in October 2025 to join a relative granted refugee status in Britain. The application process required biometrics.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

1/13 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗧𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗠𝗦 Saxony-Anhalt votes today. Polls put the AfD at 40–42%, within reach of Germany’s first far-right state government since 1945. This is not merely a contest for office. It is a proposal to alter the controls around it.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

One day after President Trump called a six-month war “small potatoes”, US forces struck three Iranian oil tankers after the US said its warships faced missile attacks. Iran claims it retaliated; that is currently unverified. The small potatoes are now exchanging ballistic missiles at sea. 🥔🚀🥔

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

Official EU material describes EES as fully operational. The Guardian reports fingerprint kiosks at Dover, Eurotunnel, and St Pancras remain inoperative as emergency flexibility expires. The system has achieved legal completion while retaining operational exceptions to operation.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 06/09/2026

Masked anti-immigration activists demanding control of the border disabled every entrance to Britain’s busiest ferry port. The local MP says small-boat crossings are down 40%. Their operational contribution was to obstruct lawful travel while complaining that government cannot control movement.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/9 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗬 The UN General Assembly has adopted a non-binding resolution encouraging Equal Earth and other equal-area projections for world maps. It has not prohibited Mercator. Cartography has not been placed under emergency powers.

Keith, an exceptionally round and floofy ginger Persian cat with narrowed eyes and a prominent pink Blep, sits gravely at a carved desk in his lamplit Gothic Manchester No 10 North office. He studies a large antique, brass-mounted globe showing Europe, Africa, the Atlantic, and the Americas. A discreet cartographer’s inscription over the United States reads “Here Be Dragons”. Dark oak, old books, maps, leaded windows, and a carved Manchester bee complete the solemn scene.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/6 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗡 𝗘𝗧𝗬𝗠𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗔 𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗡 The Office encountered the statement that St Edmund’s body was taken “to be buried at what would become Bury St Edmunds”. This appears to reveal that an English town was named by issuing a direct instruction. Snacks were delayed by investigation of this.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/9 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗡-𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗗𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 Asked about a meeting at the centre of Reform’s political-finance controversy, Mr Farage said: “I turn up. I frankly wasn’t even listening.” The Office has considered whether this assists him. #ReformUK #IKnowNothing #HesFromClackton #FawltyFinances

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

President Trump told Canada: “They need us; we don’t need them.” Canada has signed a C$4.7bn fleet agreement: 313 cars designed, engineered, and built at home. The Office advises care when instructing an ally to treat dependence on you as a problem. It may solve it. #Canada #Trade #TrumpTariffs

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/16 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦, 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗗𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗚𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 English once distinguished one, exactly two, and more than two. It lost that precision, borrowed replacements, reassigned forms, and continued functioning. Language has never been administratively static.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/10 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 𝗔𝗖𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 The BBC Global Disinformation Unit gathered police data showing that more than 80 people were killed across six African countries between October 2025 and July 2026 after false accusations of “genital theft”.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/10 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘-𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗨𝗡𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦 Reports indicate cats with established households are being fed, housed and, in some cases, actively enticed by unregistered third parties. The Office is concerned.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 05/09/2026

1/9 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗬 𝗕𝗬 𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗔𝗡 𝗔𝗥𝗠𝗬 The British Army has reportedly been ordered to suspend non-essential collective training for UK-based units for most of this year. The stated reason is budget pressure.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 04/09/2026

1/10 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 Reform’s conference is being overshadowed by finance allegations, two senior departures and leadership strain. It is tempting to predict an implosion which destroys Britain’s far right. Physics advises caution.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 04/09/2026

1/10 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗩𝗔𝗟 Government has changed Skilled Worker rules for people recognised as victims of modern slavery. Their conditions may now be amended to permit work for any employer for the rest of their permission. Keith is pleased. You can tell by the party hat. #HappyBlep

A photorealistic landscape portrait of Keith, an exceptionally fluffy, round ginger Persian cat, sitting formally behind a large polished wooden desk in the Gothic No 10 North office. He has a broad, very flat face, heavy-lidded amber eyes, long white whiskers, and his characteristic small pink tongue blep. His expression is profoundly grumpy, tired, and unimpressed. And therefore completely indistinguishable from his happy expression.

A flimsy red paper crown, of the kind found inside a Christmas cracker, sits slightly askew between his ears. It provides the image’s only objective evidence that Keith is celebrating.

Warm morning light enters through tall Gothic windows behind him. Dark carved wood, pointed arches, restrained brass fittings, official papers, and a closed red ministerial box complete the dignified government-office setting. No confetti, balloons, or detectable facial enthusiasm are present.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 04/09/2026

1/10 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗔𝗡 𝗙𝗘𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡’𝗦 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗢𝗙 𝗘𝗡𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗖𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 A Norwegian court has detained the Russian state-owned vessel Professor Molchanov, pending proceedings to enforce a $4.22bn arbitral award obtained by Ukraine’s Naftogaz. Moscow has reacted strongly.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 04/09/2026

1/11 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗡 𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗘𝗗𝗟𝗬 𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘, 𝗢𝗙𝗙-𝗧𝗛𝗘-𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟-𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 An undercover investigation records senior #ReformUK figures discussing polling financed by people they believed to be an American donor and his UK-based son. Reform denies wrongdoing.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 03/09/2026

1/21 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 - 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬 Recent files have imposed exceptional loading upon the ministerial whiskers. The Office has therefore reviewed colleagues serving government, transport, faith, academia, public information, and working life.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 03/09/2026

1/19 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 “𝗩𝗢𝗟𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗠𝗜𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡” 𝗔𝗦 𝗔𝗡 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗗𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗣𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 This requires exact language. The proposal is brutal. Its euphemisms must not be permitted to improve it.

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 02/09/2026

Mr Farage likens a standards inquiry into an unregistered £5m gift to investigations faced by Donald Trump. No finding has been made against Mr Farage. Mr Trump has 34 felony convictions. Comparators arrive with records attached. The Office recommends care in selecting them. #No10Keith #ReformUK

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Keith, the No 10 North Cat | Parody @no-10-north.uk · 02/09/2026

1/25 𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟-𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 – 𝗨𝗞 𝗣𝗔𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 🐾 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗜𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗬 Russia is attacking Ukraine now. Europe is urgently considering whether to approve the process through which Ukraine may later obtain the means to stop it. #JFDI #putinIsLaughing

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