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The Ninja Comic

@ninjacomic.bsky.social
243 followers 355 following 2.9K posts

Formerly Stuffmybrosays (@Stuffmybrosays2) from the old place Bad jokes mostly Failed writer of books I'm from "the time before"

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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 11h
Sometimes, I think there must be more to life than situational commentary and jest. Then I remember the world is full of inexplicably complicated issues and dumb people. My work will never be done. #Joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I've never found a happy medium. They know the future and it's not good. #joke #medium
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I was going to do a joke about being coughed on and using Purell to clean my eyes. I just can't see anyway to keep it from being offensive. #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
The peanut butter and jellybean sandwich I never said it was good, i said it wasn't a mistake.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I might need three different t-shirts, each with an asterisk and one of the homophones for "two" on it. I'll be right one third of the time. #words
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Chairs would be designed very differently if people actually had tails. #showerthoughts
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
You know what's awesome? That soft fluffy inside of a sweatshirt before its been washed.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
When wizards knit, do they sometimes accidentally cast spells and blow things up? #magic #wizards
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
All you have to do is look into my dilated, bloodshot eyes to know how much chocolate I've had. The little red needle points to full. And my tank is on the left. #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
If you wake up with your beard sticking out in weird directions, is it still called 'bed head?' 'Bed faces just doesn't have the range ring to it. I feel like 'weird beard' sounds better, but still isn't a very good description. Seriously, we need an answer! #WeirdBeard
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Unpopular Opinion I think we should use the Comic Sans font a lot more often. Especially on legal documents. Let's lighten up those subpoenas! #ComicSans #font #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
It's times like this that I think, "Why am I still awake?" And then I look at the clock and it's noon. #time #showethoughts
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Surely, there is somewhere you can buy a new raspberry beret. #joke #surely #prince
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I've just been informed that there is no "baby furniture" in the womb. You learn something new every day. #NowYouKnow #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I just learned that there is a "pelvic floor." It makes sense, where else would you put the babies furniture? #NowYouKnow #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
It took forever to get to work today. There was a two cat pileup in the hallway and everybody had to slow down to look. Yes, I meant #cat
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I love the fleece sherpa blankets, but wash them one time and they look like a cauliflower head that's been left in the back of the fridge and forgotten. #analogy
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
#joke Me: My wife kicked me out of the house today. Bro: Whoa! Me: Yeah, I was served with divorce papers too. Bro: Seriously? Me: No. Bro: Thank goo... Me: She hired a singing clown to tell me. HEYOOOOO!
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Today, I got seven emails from different companies. All of them said it was my last chance to take advantage of some offer or other. Do they know something I don't? Should I be worried? THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO LIKE AND SHARE THIS POST! #advertisement #conspiracy
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Perhaps we should rethink theater candy. Maybe, a spilled treat should not be round and capable of rolling the entire length of the seating area to the front row.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The meaning of, "Well, that looks shady." fully depends on how well kept the park looks. #words
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
If you were making noise at a high enough pitch that only dogs could hear, how would you know? #showerthoughts
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
We tell everyone that we love our pet cats, but then we torment them laser pointers and feathers on a stick that we won't let them catch. No wonder they go "passive-aggressive" with petting. Remember that the next time they knock your stuff off the counter. #pets #cats
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Reposted by The Ninja Comic
A. Lee Martinez @aleemartinez.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Mack Megaton cartoon I did. I wrote The Automatic Detective 18 years ago. I know Ray Gun will soon eclipse it, but not going down without a fight. So if you’re looking for a retro detective story with robots and mutants, I’d say it’s worth a read.
Mack Megaton, hulking robot detective
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I'm seeing all the, "Not today Satan" shirts. And I totally get it too. Sometimes, I've already made plans. I get that he's busy, but a text isn't too much to ask. #satan #inconsiderate
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
In case you didn't know, there is no such thing as a blue raspberry. #NowYouKnow #fyi
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
You know, I'm crazy enough, I just might work. #WaitWhat
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Hand sanitizer is just as good as washing... unless you wear contact lenses. #justsaying
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Do you remember back when it seemed like you had boundless energy? Me either. Memory is the first to go. #joke #ImOld
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Updated Wisdom Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice... what the hell is wrong with you? Stop going around and taking advantage of people! #wisdom
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I just saved $8 at the hardware store thanks to my veteran discount. That totally makes being shot at worth it. #veteran #benefits
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The smaller the animal, the higher pitched my kid's voice gets. I don't think any glass will survive if they find a baby mouse. #babyanimals
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Why is it shock therapy and not a brain taser? #showerthoughts #words
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
A five letter word would be "great". #words
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Updated Wisdom A journey of a thousand miles begins with pulling up the address on the GPS. #wisdom #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I used fix a flat to inflate one of the kids pool toys. It worked about as well as you'd expect. The only downside is having an inflated killer whale all year 'round. #pooltoys
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I wonder if small dogs get resentful of being treated like they're puppies by other, bigger dogs their whole lives. #showerthoughts
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I saw my doctor recently. I'm down seven pound! I was really surprised, I didn't know a gallon of blood weighed that much. #joke #NowYouKnow
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
If I changed my name to "Moist" would fewer people talk to me? #joke #moist
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In the future, do it yesterday instead of today. Proof that I have no idea what I'm saying.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Bumper Sticker Transmission "Baby on Board" - Caution, distracted driver. #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Meteoric rise: The more you think about it, the less sense it makes. #showerthoughts #saying
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I just put a hammer, two planks of wood, and a saw in the basement. In the future, when I say I'll try to fix something, I'll go down and make carpentry noises before returning with the batteries replaced. #parentoftheyear
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Note to self, do not swap out words from cartoon title songs. At least not while the kid is present. "My little pony, assassins for hire..." #parentoftheyear
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
How long do you microwave sushi to reheat it? #joke
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Edamame and salt flavored Jelly Bellies. You're welcome world.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Why do we say, "Yummy in my tummy?" I'm not aware of any taste buds there. #showerthoughts
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
In future photographs, I'm going to use fake fingers for magic tricks to make it look like I was created using AI. It might be a valid defense in future court cases.
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
With the ubiquity of internet porn, we're lucky Captcha is still showing us pictures of crosswalks and cars. #internet #captcha
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The Ninja Comic @ninjacomic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The Whiskey Bottle a Month Club It's not so much a collection of exotic whiskey flavors, but more of a bad idea for a coping mechanism. #badidea #whiskey
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