Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14hwww.newsbiscuit.com/post/new-pho...newsbiscuit.comNew phone "better in some way", experts agreeThe new phone recently released today by one of the electronics giants has been hailed by experts as "slightly better in some way than the one you already have"."Processor speed, camera quality, scree... 041 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14hNew phone "better in some way", experts agree www.newsbiscuit.com/post/new-pho...newsbiscuit.comNew phone "better in some way", experts agreeThe new phone recently released today by one of the electronics giants has been hailed by experts as "slightly better in some way than the one you already have"."Processor speed, camera quality, scree... 030 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17hwww.newsbiscuit.com/post/sobbing...newsbiscuit.comSobbing mechanic heading for a breakdown. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17hwww.newsbiscuit.com/post/death-o...newsbiscuit.comDeath of Katie Zacharia's career livestreamed on TV. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17hwww.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-i...newsbiscuit.comTrump: I may have stepped on the Ukraine Starlink cable. Just a little bit. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17hThe psychopath did it www.newsbiscuit.com/post/the-psy...newsbiscuit.comThe psychopath did itIn a stunning turn of unforeseen events, Hollywood has made a blockbuster film where a character called Slashy Killman displays overt psychopathic behaviour from the outset, and then it turns out he c... 141 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 19hMacron finds a positive out of the French riots www.newsbiscuit.com/post/macron-...newsbiscuit.comMacron finds a positive out of the French riots 011 1
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 19hInspecting the men www.newsbiscuit.com/post/inspect...newsbiscuit.comInspecting the men 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 19hTrump hires saluki as new White House press secretary www.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-h...newsbiscuit.comTrump hires saluki as new White House press secretary"The President is delighted to announce that he has appointed a golden-haired saluki as his new press secretary, in place of Katie Zacharia," said a White House kennel maid."The saluki, chosen at rand... 042 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 19hwww.newsbiscuit.com/post/the-fre...newsbiscuit.comThe French are revolting. 032 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 19hCaption Competition 23rd of October www.newsbiscuit.com/post/caption...newsbiscuit.comCaption Competition 23rd of OctoberTo enter the competition sign up to our Writer's Room - and add your entry here https://newsbiscuit.proboards.com/board/5/caption-competition The closing date will be Friday night or when our Editor ... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026Harry and Meghan, appearing in public for 1st time could start a trend www.newsbiscuit.com/post/harry-a...newsbiscuit.comHarry and Meghan, appearing in public for 1st time could start a trendRecent excitement about seeing an Englishman going out in the midday sun, was in itself remarkable not only because of the unusual appearance of the sun at this time of year, but more particularly tha... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-i...newsbiscuit.comTrump invites Liz Truss to come and be a more durable White House press secretary. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/snp-per...newsbiscuit.comSNP performs ritual Referendum Dance. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/zoo-sta...newsbiscuit.comZoo staff may have accessed tiger's medical records. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026OBR to focus on hypothetical Government spending www.newsbiscuit.com/post/obr-to-...newsbiscuit.comOBR to focus on hypothetical Government spendingThe Office of Budgetary Responsibility is to be renamed the Office of Hypothetical Spending and will devote 100% of its time to costing up Opposition spending plans.‘It’s all very well saying how you’... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026Yeah. Like the world needs flying cars, Elon. (NOT) www.newsbiscuit.com/post/yeah-li...newsbiscuit.comYeah. Like the world needs flying cars, Elon. (NOT) 041 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026What Robert Jenrick may be doing this Halloween www.newsbiscuit.com/post/what-ro...newsbiscuit.comWhat Robert Jenrick may be doing this Halloween 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 17/10/2026Defecating bears criticise undercover ITV team www.newsbiscuit.com/post/defecat...newsbiscuit.comDefecating bears criticise undercover ITV teamBears have reacted angrily to ITV’s undercover filming which apparently shows prominent members of the community shitting in the woods.‘We were misled’, one bear said. ‘We thought they shared our inte... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Russian bots “got Myha’la voted off Celebrity Traitors” www.newsbiscuit.com/post/russian...newsbiscuit.comRussian bots “got Myha’la voted off Celebrity Traitors”In a drearily predictable response to current events, someone with too much free time has claimed that “Russian bots” were responsible for American actress Myha’la being voted off Celebrity Traitors l... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Revealed – Reasons for Delays to Investigating Israeli Military Incidents www.newsbiscuit.com/post/reveale...newsbiscuit.comRevealed – Reasons for Delays to Investigating Israeli Military IncidentsFox News Verryiffy Team have found out why the IDF are so far behind with reporting back on the hundreds of untoward incidents Israel said would be looked into. The explanation is very simple. Only on... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/geoffre...newsbiscuit.comGeoffrey Donaldson disappointed to hear that British inmates don’t wear Orange suits. 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Kevin's seeing stars as his next model project is out of this world www.newsbiscuit.com/post/kevin-s...newsbiscuit.comKevin's seeing stars as his next model project is out of this worldFifty-nine year-old Kevin Philpott, a warehouse manager from Stoke, has just completed a project he started at aged seven when his Mum gave him an almost empty spool of sewing thread.For that was all ... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Britain's well unfair state www.newsbiscuit.com/post/britain...newsbiscuit.comBritain's well unfair state 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Neither a borrower, nor a reckless borrower be www.newsbiscuit.com/post/neither...newsbiscuit.comNeither a borrower, nor a reckless borrower be 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 16/10/2026Mattel admits “Press Secretary Barbie” not a success www.newsbiscuit.com/post/mattel-...newsbiscuit.comMattel admits “Press Secretary Barbie” not a successToy maker Mattel admitted today that Press Secretary Barbie, the latest iteration in its long running series of plastic blonde dolls, hasn’t been entirely successful.“The main problem was making it ta... 1114 11
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026New owner of Poundland to rebrand stores www.newsbiscuit.com/post/new-own...newsbiscuit.comNew owner of Poundland to rebrand storesWord has reached us that US investment firm Gordon Brothers is seeking a buyer for it's Poundland stores that it bought in the summer of 2025 for a symbolic £1.The chain has been struggling for a numb... 161 6
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026Michael Gove definitely did something naughty www.newsbiscuit.com/post/michael...newsbiscuit.comMichael Gove definitely did something naughtyFortunately as we don't know what it is, we are completely unable to speculate. This also means any super injunction won't work on us, as you can only gag someone who has something to say.That said, i... 041 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/truck-d...newsbiscuit.comTruck driver loses his load while watching porn on mobile. 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/man-pai...newsbiscuit.comMan paid for clearing up fallen leaves says he’s raking it in. 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026Ringo Starr disowns Yellow Submarine www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ringo-s...newsbiscuit.comRingo Starr disowns Yellow SubmarineThe Beatles drummer Ringo Star issued this statement to press this afternoon about the Beatles’ back catalogue, in particular tracks on which he sang lead vocals:First of all, we don’t want to hurt th... 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026Is Elon Musk interfering in the Ukraine war? www.newsbiscuit.com/post/is-elon...newsbiscuit.comIs Elon Musk interfering in the Ukraine war? 121 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026‘Exhausted’ racists forced to work double shifts after data centre attacks www.newsbiscuit.com/post/exhaust...newsbiscuit.com‘Exhausted’ racists forced to work double shifts after data centre attacksDave (56) is a proud patriot. Bald, fat and with a history of domestic violence he loves his country. Recent Ukrainian attacks on Russian data centres have left him tired and dispirited.'In the good o... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 15/10/2026Will new White House press secretary's nickname be 'Flubber'? www.newsbiscuit.com/post/will-ne...newsbiscuit.comWill new White House press secretary's nickname be 'Flubber'? 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026Reform would suspend governing while in government www.newsbiscuit.com/post/reform-...newsbiscuit.comReform would suspend governing while in governmentNot only will they suspend the asylum system, they said any major policy decisions will be deferred pending the findings of a Royal Commission on Whether Anything Really Needs Doing. This will be foll... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026'I miss the Russian bots' says last remaining human on Twitter www.newsbiscuit.com/post/i-miss-...newsbiscuit.com'I miss the Russian bots' says last remaining human on TwitterX, it turns out, very much marks the spot, as Ukraine has hilariously started bombing some Russian bot farms, with the US mid term elections only weeks away.Twitter in particular is now a ghost town a... 041 4
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/early-r...newsbiscuit.comEarly release prisoners caught trying to tunnel back in, for free board & lodging. 031 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/burnham...newsbiscuit.comBurnham insists Drug dealers vital for Manchester economy. 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026Zahawi tells Cabinet ‘It’s your time you’re wasting’ www.newsbiscuit.com/post/zahawi-...newsbiscuit.comZahawi tells Cabinet ‘It’s your time you’re wasting’With all the authority of a substitute teacher, Nadhim Zahawi is attempting to reduce cabinet absenteeism, denying their chants that they 'don't need no educayshun or thought control'.A departmental s... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026You wait ages for a K, then three come along, one after the other www.newsbiscuit.com/post/you-wai...newsbiscuit.comYou wait ages for a K, then three come along, one after the other 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026Who wants to wait for a coffee machine to update, before breakfasting on two aspirins and a coffee? www.newsbiscuit.com/post/who-wan...newsbiscuit.comWho wants to wait for a coffee machine to update, before breakfasting on two aspirins and a coffee? 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 14/10/2026Farage: "I warned you about migrant tigers" www.newsbiscuit.com/post/farage-...newsbiscuit.comFarage: "I warned you about migrant tigers""I've said all along," said Nigel Farage, stroking his British Blue moggy, Rothmans, "that if you start letting asylum-seeking Amur tigers land in small boats on our shores and lay on zoo enclosures f... 021 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026Netflix to launch Deathflix live execution channel www.newsbiscuit.com/post/netflix...newsbiscuit.comNetflix to launch Deathflix live execution channelNetflix has signed a deal with the US government to broadcast all future executions live on a dedicated new channel to be called Deathflix. The executions will take place during Super Bowl weekend to ... 020 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-c...newsbiscuit.comTrump considering swapping lethal injection for a tiger enclosure. 030 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/tom-cru...newsbiscuit.comTom Cruise film Digger gets Oscar for biggest flop and FIFA Best Film Award. 030 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/burnham...newsbiscuit.comBurnham promises a bright future for EU. 020 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026Braverman announces Caste system for all UK citizens www.newsbiscuit.com/post/braverm...newsbiscuit.comBraverman announces Caste system for all UK citizensHome Secretary Suella Braverman has announced that from 2023 all citizens will be given new 'Brexit Caste' level, following the model that is used to define people in India.The surprise announcement, ... 020 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026Andy Burnham calls for closer European ties www.newsbiscuit.com/post/andy-bu...newsbiscuit.comAndy Burnham calls for closer European ties 030 3
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026Trump attends local Comic Con as the Incredible Sulk www.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-a...newsbiscuit.comTrump attends local Comic Con as the Incredible Sulk 020 2
Newsbiscuit @newsbiscuit.wsocial.eu · 13/10/2026Billionaire evades tax SHOCK www.newsbiscuit.com/post/billion...newsbiscuit.comBillionaire evades tax SHOCKUndercover reporters have discovered that Deloitte helped Roman Ambramovich falsify tax returns, which is like saying you have found out that he does not keep his money under a mattress. Nothing is su... 020 2
