dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 07/10/2026my cat be glaring at me coming to bed like i don’t pay the rent in this bitch 100
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 07/10/2026i will do whatever you wanna down another round and another scream to karaoke madonna i will do whatever u wanna 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 06/10/2026doing an event at a secondary school tomorrow and genuinely worried that i’m going to get bullied LMAO 010
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 06/10/2026i love reheated pasta and how oily it is theres just something abt it…. 010
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 05/10/2026if you use my iphone alarm clock sound as your ringstone you are a pervert to me 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 03/10/2026as someone who lives 15 min walk from city centre i have recently discovered drinking outside of city centre and the £4 pints are blowing me away 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 03/10/2026in the trenches of early stardew and every so often i open up my 100% perfection save and play for 1 day just to get a taste of being OP again 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 28/09/2026all the drugs i’ve done they never got me higher than the first time we met 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 26/09/2026we need to find a scientific way to transfer the period shits into the male body 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 25/09/2026thinking about how for most of human history if someone u loved died you never even had a single picture of them to look at 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 25/09/2026cat just tore the vinyl lining off the bathroom door and stared at me through the window while i was showering. same lady who pretends she hates me btw 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 25/09/2026microsoft authenticator makes me sympathise with the unabomber 020
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 23/09/2026it’s so nice that she lets me sleep in her house 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 23/09/2026he asks how much i’m drinking and i lie but doctors are always trying to tell you some torturous way to live your life it’s not like they know everything ever hey man i went to college too 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 16/09/2026no work tomorrow u know what that mean. red wine and skyrim on a Wednesday night 010
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 16/09/2026me when the boxers who attend the boxing club beside my house congregate in the street and have a good civil laugh but it’s numerous male voices directly outside my living room so it scares mestatic.klipy.comGrr GrrrALT: Grr Grrr 000
Reposted by dr fartBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Every new dinosaur thing is like the Tyrannosaurus Rex wore short sleeved dress shirts and worked as a paralegal 692800474
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 16/09/2026i remember when siri didn’t understand my accent unless i did a fake american one. i long for simpler times 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 15/09/2026showering after eating a big takeaway is the worst i’m so rotund 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 12/09/2026i never truly understood Barbie until i named my cat Barbara and she started getting Barbie in 0.2 seconds 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 10/09/2026if u were a floor i’d wanna be the rug and if u were a kiss i KNOW i’d be a hugstatic.klipy.comMisery SadALT: Misery Sad 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 05/09/2026i’m getting fat bc i can’t stop ordering a kebab all the time. i want a kebab every day i’m getting the kebab shakes 010
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 05/09/2026when i make dinner and it’s straight bs i want to die 100
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 03/09/2026“one must imagine sisyphus happy” i say as i shave my moustache for the second time this week 010
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 25/08/2026bathroom light in the pub is broken this is what they’ve replaced it with 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 19/08/2026i have a cat that sleeps between my feet at night and a grip i’m letting go. i’ve got a pretty long fuse, i’ve got some pretty tattoos, i get a lot of good news 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 19/08/2026every month payday night feels like santas coming at midnight 100
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 16/08/2026playing skyrim w my bf and the cat asleep across from us i used to pray for times like this fr 020
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 14/08/2026i made a spongebob sticker and it cut out his trousers and his tie makes it look like hes on his period 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 12/08/2026the house and the sofa the can you come over? the mixed coca cola the i’m never sober the so see you later the saved and the saviour 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 11/08/2026my nail girl is 17 and i tried to send her a message and a pic of my calender but when i sent the pic it added the message on top of it i feel like the oldest person in the world 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 08/08/2026woke up at half 7 on a Saturday morning by the cat throwing up on my bed 100
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 05/08/2026ordered a kebab from my favourite local and i wrote “LOVE YOU” in the order notes and the delivery driver rang me after drop off going “you love me or the restaurant 😉” kms 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 02/08/2026an angel loses it’s wings everytime a girl gets her ears pinned 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 02/08/2026no replies my trousers fell down to my knees in ikea today 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 30/07/2026logging into skyrim for first time in a year and not knowing how to run is so humbling. i’m wearing daedric armour mate 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 30/07/2026after a record breaking heatwave i’m finally wearing a jumper in my own home in july. just like god intended 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 29/07/2026lifelong love, swear it’s true, mine this song, your tattoo, you are who you hang out with, fake gold, sensitive skin, truth is i have always been sort of an embarrassment 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 28/07/2026my cat pretends to like my bf more than me but she is conveniently in the same room as me at all times. me and barbara same room forever club 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 27/07/2026got a bottle that didn’t have the cap attached and almost immediately i threw it in the bin by accident. EU help me EU 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 24/07/2026my new nail girl literally lives 1 street over from me i had a dream i got everything i wanted 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 24/07/2026my bf covered my cats vet bill plus a little extra (beer money) MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN 000
dr fart @neversawitcoming.bsky.social · 22/07/2026my dad lives abroad and we text on whatsapp but every so often he sends me a message from his uk number just to keep it active and it looks like i’m a rejected child in this thread 010
