iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 15h

Pricing safe deposit boxes so my heirs can have a brief thrill after I'm dead because they didn't know I had one but then it's just filled with a complete collection of Now That's What I Call Music cds and a little note apologizing for wasting their inheritance on a bit.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 16h

*obligatory "Sam Altman said some dumb shit" repost*

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Something that makes me unreasonably angry is when drivers don't follow traffic laws and expectations in an attempt to be nice. Just do what you're supposed to do and get on with it.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I don't think nbc should have cancelled The Jay Leno Show just because Jay Leno went back to The Tonight Show. I'd have hired a bunch of comedians and journalists to take turns hosting it and doing whatever they wanted. No consistency.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Going to open a restaurant with a small menu of things we make really well that you like, things we don't make very well but you like anyway, and things you don't like at all so it doesn't matter if we make them well. You don't order what you want; you get whatever we made that day.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I don't know how this could be enforced but headaches should be illegal. Headaches are bullshit.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 22/09/2024

Happy Candy Corn Season to all who celebrate.

6 panel comic
1. A big piece of candy corn walks into a room, waving, and says, "hey, everyone!"
2. Three nelson eggs are standing in a corner of the room. One of them says, "oh hey, Candy Corn! How are you doing?"
3. Candy Corn replies, "I'm..."
4. Candy Corn slips, falling forward, shouting, "...whoa!"
5. One of the nelson eggs runs toward Candy Corn who is laying face (for lack of a better word) down and says, "oh, no! Are you okay, Candy Corn?"
6. The nelson egg helps Candy Corn back to their feet. Candy Corn replies, "I'm fine. Happens all the time."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I need to get back into my rhythm so I can finish some books and start some others like whatever this would turn into

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 03/05/2025

Of course, Ted probably doesn't really believe in god as much as he believes in the utility of being seen as a christian in order to fulfill his sociopathic desires. Anyway, just something I think about sometimes, Have this picture I made some years ago that I also think about sometimes.

Top half of the picture is a representation of the comedy and tragedy masks. The tragedy mask is positioned behind the comedy mask and is saying, "oh my god! The condom broke! What do we do?" The comedy mask replies, "don't worry about it! Our child will be loved. Everyone loves a tragicomedy." Bottom half of the picture is just a picture of Ted Cruz making a face that looks like he's trying to combine the expressions of the tragedy and comedy masks. He's trying to smile but everything about his face screams total misery because he probably hates himself and the thought of taking that self-hatred out on the rest of us gives him the slightest of smiles.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 03/05/2025

I am not a religious person but I sometimes think about this quote about Ted Cruz's decision to run for president because Trump repeatedly humiliated him and I wonder how they feel about god now. Like...if he really believed god told him to run for president, was it just for laughs?

A screenshot of one of Ted Cruz's parents explanations for when he decided to run for president in 2016 that says, "My son Ted and his family spent six months in prayer seeking God's will for this decision. But the day the final green light came on, the whole family was together. It was a Sunday. We were all at his church, First Baptist Church in Houston, including his senior staff. After the church service, we all gathered at the pastor's office. We were on our knees for two hours seeking God's will. At the end of that time, a word came through his wife, Heidi. And the word came, just saying, "Seek God's face, not God's hand." And I'll tell you, it was as if there was a cloud of the holy spirit filling that place. Some of us were weeping, and Ted just looked up and said, "Lord, here am I, use me. I surrender to you, whatever you want." And he felt that was a green light to move forward."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Beauty and the Beast is great. There's a character that's like, "here's my son. He's missing part of his skull, so you can drink tea out of him." #webcomic

6 panel comic:
1. A nelson egg shrugs and says, "I mean, considering they're only cursed because they work for the prince..."
2. The nelson egg stands next to another nelson egg. There is a dry erase board behind them that says "debate for president". The nelson egg finishes their thought, "I think it would've been funny to show a wardrobe say, 'I quit,' and leave the castle as a human."
3. The other nelson egg points at the first one and says, "that's lame. If I could add just one thing to the movie, it's pretty obvious." The first nelson egg holds up two middle fingers in response to being called lame.
4. The second nelson egg holds up two fists and says, "at the end, Belle should be disappointed she would never get to fuck that beast dick she fell for."
5. The second nelson egg has pulled both arms back, and thrust forward as if fucking (?) while the first nelson egg has crossed their arms, saying, "gross. We're talking about a movie for children, Hank."
6. Finally, the teacher steps in and says, "all right, that's all the time we have for today's debate."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Love to go shopping and feel nostalgia for the 90's music playing in the store and it's all songs I did not like in the 90's but I know most of the lyrics because these songs have been playing in stores for decades and yes, I have worked retail and I did not like that either.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

This week has been a bunch of shit I don't want to talk about but I do want to complain about endlessly because it fucking sucked and it's not over. I am so tired.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

When I worked at Walgreens, customers often needed help allowing the photo kiosks access to their phone's pictures and it's helped me understand everything I hate most about the internet now. If they had an iphone, connecting the cable would bring up a box asking for permission to access photos.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Used the last of my tomatoes this year to make tomato jam because I'd never had any and I guess I could've been making this all along, like now I have to get some things to put this on looking forward to a sandwich

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Who else got to see Michael Jordan play baseball in person?

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

From 2021. Found this house on zillow but couldn't afford it. #webcomic

6 panel comic:
1. Two nelson eggs walk into an empty house. The nelson egg in front says, "now, you've got to watch your step in this house."
2. The nelson egg in front gestures at the floor with both hands and says, "it's just that some parts of the floor are imaginary." The other nelson egg is touching a wall behind him.
3. The nelson egg in front gives a thumbs up and says, "those parts are very dangerous, but they're easy enough to avoid." The other nelson egg shrugs.
4. The nelson egg in front says, "anyway, I suppose you'll want to see the toilet." The other nelson egg has stepped into one of the imaginary parts of the floor and their foot is disappearing.
5. The nelson egg in front is about to open another door and says, "I know your generation is really into shitting." The other nelson egg is disappearing more as they fall further into the imaginary spot of the floor.
6. The nelson egg in front has entered the room and gestures wide at a completely empty room, just like the rest of the house. This nelson egg says, "you can shit anywhere in here." The other nelson egg has disappeared completely into the imaginary spot of the floor.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Every time I see talk about Threads I want to post something like this but it's getting more like that shit isn't real. Like you can't convince me that many people are actually using Threads but if they are you can't convince me to give a shit.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I played so much Micro Machines (NES) it was great you would hit some syrup on the table and slow down and there was racing on billiard tables fuck let's make a movie no Chris Pratt can't be in it fuck you nevermind

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

We're like a week away from Trump saying he can log in to his bank account and just adjust the total by up to 4 digits, he's only adding 2 9's at the front and a 0 at the back, but they said he could add up to 4 digits but he only wants 3, and then everyone just shrugging, asking, "can he do that?"

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Watching clips of RFKjr and I'm pretty sure he's not alive anymore. I don't know when it happened, but his skin was clearly used as sausage casing and the sausage is rotting and the casing is falling apart because he hasn't caused enough harm. Harm is the preservative that's keeping him ambulatory.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

When I posted this on YouTube I immediately received a copyright claim on behalf of ZZ Top. See if you can pick them out

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

My kid wanted to paint, so I asked what I should paint and was told "space dinosaur" so that's what I did, also there's some good news

A crude painting of a purple trex with a fishbowl space helmet and text that says "GOOD NEWS! RONALD REAGAN IS STILL DEAD"

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

My kid wanted to paint, so I asked what I should paint and was told "space dinosaur" so that's what I did, also there's some good news

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Open AI not looking so good better send Sam Altman out to make some outrageous new claim about AI so the people with all the money keep the data center lights on fucking hell we live in this is exhausting

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

Saw some dumb Sam Altman shit time to repost this comic about his legacy being stupid as fuck it's so infuriating the amount of money this dumb man has been able to throw away on a stupid piece of crap

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

From 2019. Another abandoned idea was little Mayors. Probably could still get some ideas out of little Mayor pests. One time the mayors were a nelson egg's poop that had to be killed with the claw end of a hammer. #webcomic

6 panel comic
1. A nelson egg is holding open their front door and another nelson eggs is walking through the door wearing some sort of backpack. The first nelson egg says, "come in! Come in!"
2. The first nelson egg is leading the other nelson egg through the house and explaining, "he's built his little McMansion by the wall over here. You'll see."
3. The nelson eggs stand in front of a dollhouse-sized McMansion. The first nelson egg explains, "he just got away from me yesterday. I didn't know they could build their shit houses so fast. Can you get him?"
4. The nelson egg with the backpack, apparently an exterminator of pests that build McMansions, holds something small in one hand and says, "easy! I'll just lure him out with this tax break for a corporation that wants to build a fancy new football stadium."
5. Closeup on the front door of the McMansion. There's a piece of paper on the top step in front of the door. The door is open and a man in a suit with a sash that says "MAYOR" is walking out.
6. The exterminator nelson egg's backpack is a flame thrower and he is torching the mayor and the McMansion. The first nelson egg is leaning away from the fire. The exterminator says, "get's 'em every time!"

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Ideally no one would even know there was more than one of them. It would just be "see the Ghost Rider film that was contractually held back until Nicolas Cage died" and every theater has a random assortment of them playing in a random rotation. You couldn't see all of them at any one theater.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

One of the things I'd do with infinite money is hiring an actor to make a bunch of movies in secret to be released after their death and it would be something like Ghost Rider starring Nicolas Cage. Imagine releasing 15-20 mid Ghost Rider movies after he died.

The Simpsons screenshot of Milhouse angrily yelling, "when are they going to get to the fireworks factory?" from the Poochie episode, but "fireworks factory" has been lazily blacked out and I put "another Ghost Rider movie starring Nicolas Cage" over the blacked out text.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Everyone remembers Hank has been kidnapped and then woke up in a room where a turtle threw up a key and he kicked it around and finally picked it up assuming he would need it but then he didn't, right? I used to update this story every Sunday. #webcomic

6 panel comic:
1. Hank, a nelson egg, stands in an open doorway holding a key in his right hand. Caption, "Hank decided to hold on to the key just in case.
2. Close up on Hank with fist clenched around the key. Caption, "He was starting to like the taste of it anyway."
3. A shot from Hank's left reveals a long hallway disappearing at a vanishing point. The door behind him is closing. Caption, "he didn't know which way he should go from here."
4. Hank starts walking the other way down the hall, which presumably also just goes on forever. Caption, "he had no reason to pick one way or the other so he just started walking."
5. Hank walking down a the hallway. Caption, "he walked for a while."
6. Hank holding his left hand open. The key is gone. Caption, "he accidentally ate the key."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

We saw Toy Story 5 and I was right. It's actually a better setup for my idea than Toy Story 4. Jessie and Bo somehow get pregnant and now Buzz and Woody have to go to Washington to advocate for the rights of toys. Do it, cowards.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

1. Need thing 2. Check website of store that sells thing 3. Out of stock 4. Notice location has been set to the wrong store, sometimes in another state 5. Set the location to the store I always shop at because it's closest to me 6. In stock 7. Buy 8. Contemplate hermit life

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Happy Kazaam Day! Kazaam was released on July 17, 1996. Celebrate. #webcomic

6 panel comic: This comic features a family of chicken fingers setting the dinner table. Chicken fingers are chickens with human-like fingers sticking out of their bodies. The fingers often replace legs or act as arms, but they'll also stick out and random angles.
1. An adult chicken finger asks a child chicken finger, "would you like to bring out the egg?"
2. Three chicken fingers stand around a table with assorted plates and dishes full of food. One of the chicken fingers says, "I want to thank you for coming."
3. Close-up on the talking chicken finger, saying, "it's been a pretty rough year for chicken fingers, I know."
4. Another close-up of the talking chicken finger saying "people are interested more and more in these boneless wings, and I just...I mean, what?"
5. The young chicken finger has returned and placed the nelson egg on the table. The nelson egg is laying on their back. Their arms are tied up with string. The talking chicken finger continues, "anyway, Happy Kazaam Day! Now, who wants white and who wants yolk? Oh, I see I've forgotten the mayo sauce. I'll be back.
6. The chicken finger uses two arm-like fingers to dump a can of mayo sauce onto a plate. The mayo sauce is like that canned cranberry sauce.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Happy Kazaam Day! Kazaam was released on July 17, 1996. Celebrate. #webcomic

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

I feel bad for the people who are having to distract RFK Jr right now so he doesn't collect Lindsey Graham's corpse to harvest all his favorite organ meats

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

I want to make a bunch of movies of varying genres where literally everyone is a clown. Full clown makeup and clothes for everyone for this romantic comedy, political thriller, mafia drama, etc. Don't ask why. Eventually have to make a horror movie where the killer isn't a clown. Give me money.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Trying to imagine Mitch McConnell meeting up with Dick Cheney and Charlie Kirk in hell and they're just confused because it's everything they've ever wanted so they don't have a purpose anymore what are they supposed to do for eternity

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

a song about how to enjoy fireworks by carter vail

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Bunch of white dicks for you on this day

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Arbitrary work policies are fun, from the early days of the comic in 2019. #webcomic

6 panel comic:
1. A nelson egg wearing cowboy boots on their hands and feet struts awkwardly down a hallway. Behind them a poster depicts a man shrugging with pockets turned out. The poster says "get a cash advance...not a union"
2. The boots-covered nelson egg has entered the office of another nelson egg who sits at a desk in front of a window looking out of a skyscraper-filled skyline. The boots-covered nelson egg asks, "where are your work boots, Hank?"
3. Hank replies, "I told you I'm not wearing boots. Damn your pro-boot policy!"
4. The boots boss nelson egg gestures with one of their cowboy boot-covered hands and says, "we're a family here at Nelson Eggs. You'll wear cowboy boots or else!"
5. Hank stands up and yells "I quit!" at the same time the boots boss yells, "you're fired!"
6. Boots boss is kicking Hank's desk like a horse, demonstrating the power of wearing cowboy boots on your feet and the stability you get wearing them on your hands when you need to kick someone like a horse.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Arbitrary work policies are fun, from the early days of the comic in 2019. #webcomic

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Just want to say right now that I would do an Infowars Elf comic strip, no I don't have an idea for it, that is how I do comics, but I could do that if anyone wants that sort of thing

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Anyone else have this line stuck in their head for 30+ years, thinking about it multiple times a week because how often do you see fire stations, hoses, and hydrants?

Screenshot from the film UHF at 50:16 of Michael Richards as Stanley Spadowski shouting "YOU GET TO DRINK FROM THE FIRE HOSE!" in a child's face.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Fucking let me do it, guys. Who owns it? Wikipedia has a section about attempts to make Mr. Ed films and reboots as recently as 2012. Let me do it. Mr. Ed goes to college and studies physics. Get me in touch with the right people and I'll get them a fucking script with a low budget.

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

My podcast app started giving me ads for one of the "prediction market" companies and they are YELLING AT YOU HOPING YOU DONT NOTICE THEY ARE JUST REGULAR ASS GAMBLING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN THE OUTCOME OF A GAME YOU ARE BETTING ONE TEAM WINS IT IS SO FUCKING STUPID

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

From the early days of That's Nelson Eggs. I've introduced several ways that Nelson Eggs come into this world and this is still among my favorites.

6 panel comic:
1. A nelson egg is climbing a mountain. He's holding two walking sticks.
2. A shot from further away that shows the nelson egg leaving footprints in snow.
3. The nelson egg is using a rope to climb a steeper part of the mountain.
4. The nelson egg stands at the apparent top of the mountain with hands raised high, shouting, "HA HA! Fuck you, mountain. I made it to the top."
5. The nelson egg squats as smaller nelson eggs fall out of his backside. He says, "I can't believe I had to come all the way up here to lay eggs."
6. The nelson egg stands over his three small nelson egg children as they struggle to stand and walk around. He says, "worthless."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 15/06/2025

That poor editor. #webcomic

6 panel comic
1. A nelson egg stands shrugging and says, "I haven't had a good idea in over a day. I don't know what to do." He stands in front of another nelson egg sitting at a desk.
2. The nelson egg sitting at the desk (with a nameplate that just says editor) says, "are you saying you might miss your deadline, Hank?" but Hank shouts over the editor saying, "WAIT! Shut the fuck up!"
3. Hank rushes out of the office shouting, "I'll call you later!"
4. Hank is Naruto running down a sidewalk.
5. Hank sits at a small desk with a typewriter. Behind him displays what he is typing, and it says, "Hank rushed into his stupid editor's office and caught the ugly shithead jacking off. He didn't have time to insult the dumb piece of shit. 'I haven't had a good idea in over a day. I don't know what to do,' Hank said. The stupid asshole editor tried to ask, 'are you saying you might miss your deadline, Hank?' but..." and this is when the text falls mostly behind Hank as he types. Obviously, he's writing the scene earlier in the editor's office, being very disparaging of the editor for no apparent reason.
6. Hank is on the phone with the editor, saying, "I'll bring the new pages to you later but I think it's the best thing I've written."

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That's Nelson Eggs @nelsoneggs.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

I planted 1 rhubarb plant last year and finally had enough to make a small amount of this recipe tonight and taste-testing as I'm cleaning up made it clear that I need more rhubarb plants. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktsc...

youtube.com

Rhubarb and Ginger Jam ◆ 1930s Recipe

YouTube video by Handed Down Kitchen

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