iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Monster Of The Week 342 is DamNation, a complete hydraulic system, floods, droughts, all a thing of the past, obviously creates some problems but does that really require profanity?

Green landscape crossed with rivers and lakes, the lakes created by dams, each of which has a large pair of eyes peering out

122

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Oh hey I've got a birthday today as well I'm not 40

A picture of Neil, a balding white guy with glasses and a graying beard, resting his chin on his fist in a slightly threatening manner

030

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Monster Of The Week 341 is Fogwick, a bit hazy on the details, eventually they'll clear things up, kind of damp, but in a way you only notice when they've gone.

The entire image is blurry grey with the greyness getting thicker into a solid lozenge in the middle

133

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Monster Of The Week 340 is Pylar, upstanding load-bearing community member, don't worry about the fire, it's the contradiction that makes them monstrous, destruction and stability in one.

A pillar with flames coming out the top, the plinth the pillar rests on has arms, legs and a pair of eyes

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Twelve months ago subscribers to my Patreon were subjected to this frankly absurd fire drill. Now it has been released into the wild so everyone can experience it.

There’s a bear playing the piano in the corner, but everyone else is ignoring it so I do too.

“So here’s the plan. Jones goes in, engages the clerk in conversation. That’s when Botsy falls down the stairs – make it look good Botsy, not like last time. Drama, not slapstick. A bit of fake blood never hurt anyone. Jones has them call the emergency services. That’s when Gill and Jack start drilling from next door. Two and a half minutes later, I come in dressed like a fireman.”

Botsy frowned at this. “You always dress up. And fake blood – very theatrical. We’re not putting on a play.”

We all hush him, wanting the whole plan before we poke holes in it.

“I start with first aid. As the drilling reaches the safe, Jones sets off the fire alarm and I clear everyone out, so no one can hear the burglar alarm. We load everyone up into the fire engine, keep everyone’s eyes on us. Gill and Jack empty the safe, come out and we leave.” He shrugged. “I suppose you’ll be dressed as firemen as well. Oh, and the stuff will be in you equipment bags.”

“Where do we get a fire engine?” “What if a real fireman turns up?” “What’s in the safe.”

The boss grins at us. “Already got the truck. Jones makes sure they call for an ambulance. And something that will make us rich.”

I raise a hand to jeers, then discreetly point at the bear. “What’s up with the bear playing piano?”

The bear hits a sudden, loud, minor chord and growls at us. “No one else is goin’ to drive my fire engine.”

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Monster Of The Week 339 is Paynter, art's not free, put a coin in, get a picture, loves to take walking holidays in Italy, but doesn't take any photos.

A figure painting a landscape with brush and palette; the part towards us is humanoid but then a centaur-like body emerges and becomes the easel. On the back of the head is a slot marked $1

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Monster Of The Week 338 is StillCentre, unbothered, moisturised, in their lane, flourishing, the eye in the storm, they have already given you permission to not have a take.

A slightly red tinged spiral with an eye in the middle

112

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

name a non-LotR character who could resist the One Ring

120

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Monster Of The Week 337 is PotatoGratin, just pleased to be here, enjoys a hot bath of cheese, cream, garlic, butter, onion and garden herbs, heir to the throne of France.

A brown potato with lots of eyes (seeing eyes rather than potato eyes)

232

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

🎶I'm no tramp and I'm no lady🎶 "You talk most like someone from New York — about 42% of your answers match a typical resident."

Map of the USA suggesting that my accent (South East England) is from New York

110

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

James Patterson I have an entire spreadsheet of story ideas, hit me up, we can collaborate

Bee Teeth
The Swordless Stone
a guy who sucks (the villain)
Turned into a beaver because they're useful
A cursed saddle that makes you into a mount or beast of burden
Bull riding
Tiny, brave elephant
I will make the heavens tremble and the earth will be shaken out of its place
Enochian as a Second Language (ESL)
Parrot Astrology
Cybernetic Rosary
Actually Melting
A Moment of terrible joy
Voluntarily possessed by a death spirit
Poppet/Fetch/Seeming
Amnesiac evening
Land turns wild in their wake
Contemplate the space fae
Babel Reversed
boob magic
Orchard Spaceship
Moss Witch
Scary boob
Warm vegetal moment suspended in time
Sickel across neck, padlock across toe
Lych path
Glistening Bronze Tower
Bronce circle by analogy to a stone circle
Every man for himself and god against all
Orc-ale, orc oracle

181

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Fortunately if I'm ever short of a story title I can just go to the story idea spreadsheet and find inspir... ...oh... ...oh no

191

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Monster Of The Week 336 is FillerEpisode, everybody seems in a holding pattern, the problem is a variation on one seen before, but the comedy C-plot with the side characters is pretty good!

A set of papers labelled Monster Of The Week Episode 336 Monster-Sized Problems (again). Emerging from the papers are arms, legs and a head

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

12 months ago my tiny space opera story Administrative Action was beamed out to subscribers to my Patreon. Now it has been unleashed on the spaceways for all.

Postcard of my tiny story Administrative Action. The story itself is linked to in the next post, or can be found here https://nightofthehats.blogspot.com/2026/08/administrative-actions.html

122

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

I don't know what you mean, everyone treats C-3PO normally

C-3PO's legs emerging from the sand where he has fallen to be buried head first, during a scene in Return Of The Jedi

010

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Monster Of The Week 335 is OldWorldNewWorld, dying and struggling to be born, divided by the ocean, other translations suggest a different cast to the idea yet this speaks to people.

A fictional globe with four large tentacles emerging from the sea in the centre

123

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I'm sorry to say the scrambled eggs recipe I have to hand is "Scrambled Eggs James Bond" by Ian Fleming, who apparently really liked scrambled eggs.

Recipe for Scrambled Eggs 'James Bond' from 007 in New York

"For FOUR individualists:

12 fresh eggs
Salt and pepper
5-6 oz. of fresh butter

Break the eggs into a bowl. Beat thoroughly with a fork and season well. In a small copper (or heavy-bottomed saucepan) melt four oz. of the butter. When melted, pour in the eggs and cook over a very low heat, whisking continuously with a small egg whisk.
While the eggs are slightly more moist than you would wish for eating, remove pan from heat, add rest of butter and continue whisking for half a minute, adding the while finely chopped chives or fine herbs. Serve on hot buttered toast in individual copper dishes (for appearance only) with pink champagne (Taittainger) and low music."

000

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Monster Of The Week 334 is A/BTesting, might be loud might be soft, loves to test hates to be tested, thinking of a career change maybe get into teaching or something.

Crudely drawn humanoid figure, hair short on one side, long the other, twisted mouth smiling and grimacing on different ends, one hand thumbs up, one thumbs down

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Two volumes of an anthology Witches Save The World came out this week. eternalhauntedsummer.com/gorgons-gaze...

Banner for the two Witches Save The World anthology volumes, with the covers of Covens, Cauldrons, and Courses Gone Right and Hags, Harridans, And Hexes Gone Right.

The blurb between says:

Witches who speak, who act, who do what must be done - because someone has to save the world

Available now in print and digital formats at online retailers and your local library

121

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Monster Of The Week 333 is ShipWrong, implied by the existence of shipwrights, they mostly float and what more can you ask, lives a long way inland despite the commute, can't stand living by the sea.

A crudely drawn one masted sailboat with a jaunty flag, that is the head of a creature with a long thin body and appears to be sitting with legs splayed, toddler style

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Monster Of The Week 332 is Hairdress, probably best to wear a slip under this, well the barber got a new sweeper and when the hair products spilled it came to life, modelling at fashion week.

An A-line short-sleeved dress shape that has a human hair texture

101

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

12 months ago I posted this to my Patreon, and sent it out on postcards to some lucky subscribers. Now this tiny story of what to do when something extraordinary happens is flying free where everyone can see it.

“If it’s none of my business you can tell me to shove off but…”

“Well it is none of your business,” said Rindos. “And pass me the spanner. No the one next to it. Thanks.”

Kildor sighed, looked at the grease on his hand. “You gave up a well-paying job.”

“Paying was the only thing well about it. Stand back.” He emerged from within the machine and waved down the scaffold. There was a muffled reply.

“You left your family, your home.”

Rindos cursed, closing a panel, locking down various mechanisms. He peered at a dial. “Your sister had already left me. The house was sold. I do not recall you coming to say goodbye.”

“I’m here now,” said Kildor, weakly. He had to repeat it as a machine started up. “I don’t even know what you’re doing out here at Cosmosopolis…”

Rindos hit the panel and it clanked shut. The machine chugged to life. “It’s simple. I’m testing and calibrating the anterior third stage auxiliary hydraulic pump. Then on to the next pump. When all the pumps and other systems are integrated, well. Then maybe this bird will fly.”

Kildor looked down to where men and machines clustered around the rocket engines, looking like miniatures from the height. He looked up, to where the craft at the top was concealed by two more layers of scaffolding, the whole stack enormous.

“Is it worth it?”

Rindos stepped back, wiping his hands on rag – one dirty enough that he was getting no benefit.

“It’s 100 km away. And there are answers there. Something. Don’t you feel it?”

“Well yes. But why you in particular?”

Kildor looked him in the eye. Then catching sight of something behind him he looked upwards. With impeccable timing, as it did every ninety minutes, the extraterrestrial space object passed by on it’s orbit.

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Monster Of The Week 331 is CrimeologyDepartment, the criminology department studies crime to mitigate it, crimeology is about making it cool, daring heists, high speed chases, elaborate cons, sign up here with name, address, bank details etc.

A four storey glass slab of a building set in green grass with paths leading to the doors.

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Monster Of The Week 330 is CakeOfTheWeek, a much more normal series, and one cake a week is hardly excessive, except this one which turns out to be over seven stories high.

A round brown cake with specks of what might be dried fruit

101

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Monster Of The Week 329: Switcheroo, full of flim-flam and razzmatazz, does some fun tricks where the quickness of the lighting changes deceives the eye, on and off and on and off and on and off and on a

A pale pink wonky light switch, at the top two screws that resemble eyes

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I can confirm Voidspace In Conversation was human made - here's the spreadsheet I made the index in (I learned several lessons about making indexes (indicies?) during this!)

A spreadsheet with a list of terms, then lists of page references for volume 1 and volume 2, then them merged to make an index.

050

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Monster Of The Week 328 is EyeFullTower, fabulous landmark, a real sight, sometimes overlooked but that's the nature of a tall eye.

A curved tower, vaguely reminiscent of the Eiffel Tower in outline, except solidly filled with blue background and yellow eyes

122

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

12 months ago subscribers to my Patreon received this not quite stream of consciousness account of a conversation I had while making food, or making food while having a conversation. Sometimes you get a postcard about growing a house from mushrooms, sometimes you get rocket science (see next month)

It looks like there’s a lot of oil in the casserole, but that’s okay. The onion and garlic has softened and the mushroom will soak up a bit. And then it will mix with flour to make the sauce. It’s time to put in the chicken, left over from a roast.

In fact maybe not enough fat, I put in two thin slices of butter.

How do I know, my friend asks me, and I ask myself how do I know?

If I am making a white sauce (béchemal) properly, it goes like this. I weigh out some butter, let it melt in a pan, worry it’s too much. Stir in a couple of spoons of flour, then a bit more, until it’s almost crumbly. Let it cook a moment or two. Stir in milk a little at a time until it’s too sloppy, then let it thicken.

The thing is, it will burn to the bottom unless I keep very close watch. One instant of not stirring and watching and I guarantee it will stick to the bottom. A second instant and it burns. I can’t do anything else, I can’t let myself be distracted.

So I’m making the sauce here in the casserole. A one pot wonder as my mum might say.

I just know, I say. It needs to be uncomfortably greasy.

I would have made this a stew with the gravy from the roast but someone stole it to make soup.

I stir in the flour. Two spoons. Then a bit more. Enough to coat everything, enough to soak up the fat. Let it cook there, almost dry for just a moment. Enough that the flour cooks and loses it’s grittiness.

Then a little milk, stirred in. A little more. Keep at it.

There’s a moment where it’s a grey brown sludge, horrid, then more milk and it comes together. It starts to look like chicken in white sauce.

And I’ve been able to talk to my friend and put on some potatoes and cabbage. It doesn’t burn, doesn’t stick.

I don’t know why it’s easier this way.

101

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Monster Of The Week 327 is WoodenSteak, no, don't try and cut it, we made it to display in the window then it came to life for some reason, really loves garlic.

A crudely drawn meat steak, red with white fat, with two tiny eyes

111

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Oh man I wrote this, Unorthodox Archaeology, I wonder if it's any good (it is not good)

14 Years ago

A space freighter is carrying a mixed cargo , as well as a, let's say, ballet company, when they come across a derelict alien ship. On board they find it empty and deserted, except for a mysterious pack of cards. Back on board the ship the cards transform to show signs recognisable to the crew and the dancers. Several games are played with foreshadowing hands (Fire, The Spanner, Luck; The Six of Muffins, The Two of Cash; The Broken Helmet). Eventually the ship arrives at it's destination and the ballet prepare for a performance. END OF ACT ONE.

Is the ballet company's performance of the goriest ever version of (probably) Romeo and Juliet the climax of Act 2, or the film? If it's Act 2, then the film is action sci-fi with Act 3 being the solution ("Take off and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.") If it's the climax of the film then it's sci-fi horror, in which case Act 2 is about building tension, with bodies being found and people acting weird, but keeping the gore down until the end ("It's only food dye and syrup. Why are you skimping? More blood!")

021

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Monster Of The Week 326 is Bloat, ate something that disagreed with him, the treatment is to vent the gas, no look it up, the instrument is a trocar, you stab the bloated creature to let it out.

A round, bloated balloon-like shape, tinted a delicate pink, with tiny feet and a face that seem to be being pushed out from the body.

101

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Monster Of The Week 325 is StoneSword, just minding their own business then - SWORD, gave them sentience, arms, legs, a face - starting to think the sword might be magic, Hey! Leave that alone.

231

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Probably getting this thanks to my crime writing research. Probably.

A LinkedIn post from the Human Tissue Authority

031

Neil Willcox, World-saving Witch Detective @neilwillcox.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Monster of the Week 324 is Epsion, remote viewing, knows what's happening, almost seems to know before it actually happens, hosts cocktail hour every Friday

A small silhouette of a figure with enormous binocular style eyes coming out, unfeasibly big, bigger than the body, with huge yellow irises

111