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Michael Shopoff

@mshopoff.bsky.social

626 followers 476 following 9.3K posts

Sports data scientist seeking professional/collegiate/consulting opportunities. I follow most sports but root for Astros, Longhorns, Rockets, Red Wings, USMNT, and USWNT (he/him)

Posts Replies Media

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 5h

DAMMIT WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 5h

Murphy and Roberts just giving endless second-guessing opportunities tonight

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 6h

static.klipy.com

Anger Management Jack Nicholson

Alt: Anger Management Jack Nicholson

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 6h

Dodgers out here playing their same old pathetic hits

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 6h

…and my daughter is flying home on Sunday so she can vote!

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 6h

/drops to knees immediately “Please not Texas, please not Texas…”

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 6h

Unfortunately, “nailed it” is what Pete said about underage girls

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 8h

My bunk, forthwith

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 8h

…never having gotten the measles

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 8h

This is absolute Meemaw/Mamaw disrespect

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 8h

“Rene Russo or Faye Dunaway?” is a real Sophie’s Choice

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 9h

IT’S HAPPENING

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10h

My favorite touch is that he hands back the laptop that was just sliced in half. Um… thanks?

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11h

Thomas Crown Affair

Reposted by Michael Shopoff

Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 15h

static.klipy.com

The Good Place: Jason Mendoza's Bad Place Realization

Alt: The Good Place: Jason Mendoza's Bad Place Realization

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 15h

Just as with James Click, “will not renew the contract” is the full “no, we fixed the glitch” of firings.

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 15h

Man who had affair “concerned” his relationship with his wife has been damaged

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 18h

No such thing as listening to too much Billy Joel

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I wholly support bad things continuing to happen, for the first reason

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

It’s on the Rushmore of places to geek out

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I’ll die mad about this

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The story is simpler - they are icked by the very thought of trans individuals, so they just want to remove the ick, and to hell with these individual’s humanity.

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Up next: Ken Paxton fertilized Ted Cruz’s eggs

100

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

My HBO Max feed glitched and showed me nothing but ads for “Youth” instead of the bottom of the ninth, and it was somehow still better than the endless political ads from the weekend

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Now, if Hinojosa somehow wins? *Now* we can discuss Blexas

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Losing your best player because nobody called a pop foul seems like a very bad omen

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Referees fall under ACAB

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

static.klipy.com

Michael Scott Declares Bankruptcy in The Office

Alt: Michael Scott Declares Bankruptcy in The Office

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Beware ASCII Ackbar!

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Cowardly network wouldn’t let Eliza Dushku’s subtext become text

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Sounds like a skill issue

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Kid makes better reads than Arch

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

SaRK iz OFFenSiVe GeeNIUS

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Christ, Harris, let's not start a holy war here

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

“Warning?”

static.klipy.com

Princess Bride: You Keep Using That Word

Alt: Princess Bride: You Keep Using That Word

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

There is no world in which that’s a balk

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Now I wonder if hunter’s duck calls are the equivalent of playing Barry White albums for them

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Politicians actually acting like Nazis isn’t what we do in this country, yet here we are.

Reposted by Michael Shopoff

Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

CyberTruck owners:

NFL graphic that says

SHORT
3 INCHES

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

My answer: not far enough Reality: Probably 8-9

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

What if you had the same game but your “Heisman contender” was actually HEALTHY and yet the worst non-OL problem on the team?

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Me after Arch’s 2nd pick today

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

This is *sad* news?

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Or Austin

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Buddy they won’t even let me fuck the ladder

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

This game may take 5 hours

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Shit talking TexAgs

static.klipy.com

Bold Strategy Cotton - Dodgeball

Alt: Bold Strategy Cotton - Dodgeball

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Texas was absolutely certain that was a screen. Simmons never even tried to rush. If OU can’t even disguise a screen their OL is going to be in a world of hurt

Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

We all apologize for having perceived Pitt

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Michael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Jamal Roberts is a PROBLEM

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