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Emily J. Edwards

@msemilyedwards.bsky.social
5.5K followers 588 following 18K posts

She/Her. Viviana Valentine: Gets Her Man, Goes Up the River, & and the Ticking Clock. The NYT says I "write with flair." I podcast about movie sleuths. New Haven Pizza/Superlative Canned Goo Evangelist. More: linktr.ee/msemilyedwards

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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 44m
i stopped going to dinner parties when every single goddamn get together needed to become a "game night" i do not want to play pictionary, i want to talk to you
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 1h
this is the most 40 year old post imaginable and it's 100% factual
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 1h
he could have kids after "the incident"?
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 3h
looking for an old post and stumbled onto a photo from the night eaton started cannot even believe it was or wasn't that long ago
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Reposted by Emily J. Edwards
Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
what would be the worst, most unstoppable nightmare of doodle dog i'm thinking border collie/poodle
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 3h
beaUtiful dog!!!
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
omg no one would survive
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
he got into a car accident
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
Like there's a reason Goethe made the Devil a poodle in FAUST and it wasn't *just* because he didn't like the french
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
thing could take over a small nation
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 5h
what would be the worst, most unstoppable nightmare of doodle dog i'm thinking border collie/poodle
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 6h
@keithroysdon.bsky.social sent me an article this am about how many books are now considered "midlist;" among them are basically all "dad books"– history, biography, war, etc. and it's really shocking to see that men are just not reading ANYTHING i knew they weren't reading fiction but WAR HISTORY?
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 6h
Bryan Cranston as Sandy...
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 6h
I also love that Jesse Bradford was like 16 in this and they dressed him like an actual 16 year old
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 6h
Phreak (Renoly Santiago) having THOSE CHEEKBONES and never once appearing on screen without something cat-themed on his body was a true act of brilliance
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 6h
i wrote a whole thing once about how this movie nailed CyberPunk Future Fashion and how John Waters was wrong and there IS "an outfit for that", still bummed the film mag i submitted it to rejected it
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 7h
1950s New York City, sultry dames, the language, the music! c'mon! all the ambiance without the expense of shooting period in a city!
the three covers of viviana valentine
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 7h
ALL I'M SAYING is that I also think Viviana Valentine would work excellently as a gritty adult animation
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 7h
i think it's actually pretty funny that trump *clearly* only wants the peace prize because obama won it; you'd think he'd also try to gun for literature or economics if he just wanted any other kind of award
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 7h
they truly want to deny that this is what we've done to the planet. "oh, it's harmless!" no, it's not. it simply is not.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 7h
i saw a snotty european on threads ask why american homes aren't built with bricks and stones and someone finally responded, "because we don't want to give tornadoes weapons" and i was like... THANK YOU
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
RIVERSIDE!!! that's incredible
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
"it's a different kind of flood" apparently yeah, the kind that comes roaring at you and can pick up rocks and debris (like trash cans!) and nail you with it. gtf away from the angry ocean, people. www.surfer.com/news/hurrica...
surfer.com
Watch: 25-Foot Backwash Explodes as Hurricane Rachel Swell Floods Orange County
Hurricane Rachel’s swell is slamming an already elevated Pacific, firing a 25-foot backwash wall in Laguna Beach and pushing floodwater deep into Newport.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
they will give money to literally anyone but writers and editorial staff
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Reposted by Emily J. Edwards
Black Aziz Anansi @blackazizanansi.blacksky.app · 23h
It's not that this country has never had state sanctioned murder for mass comsumption, it's just that at some point it became taboo to say that you wanted to actually see a lynching, but our current government is trying to get rid of that taboo and take America back to its roots.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
10k is just about what i was paid for a three book series
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
i fucking love it, so at some point it WILL see the light of day, somehow
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 8h
i hate that sometimes the only comps i can think of for my books are movies. my brain just put together that my latest book is kinda like... LEGALLY BLONDE meets a Shane Black movie
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 9h
lady at the coffee shop reading THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE and every over 40 woman in the place had a little chat extolling the virtues of Shirley Jackson, you love to see it
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 9h
milk, a thing that notoriously gets better with age
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 9h
someone was like, "it's no different from a puddle" and i'm like, you still don't soak open cuts in puddles, right
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 9h
even if you truly believe that water that has come from the ocean, passed across the beach, parking lots, road surfaces, through storm drains and the sewer system *isn't* filled with stuff that will make you sick, SURELY you know that as it recedes it has the power to knock you off your feet
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 9h
the number of people who have replied to this (across platforms) to say it's "not that kind of flood" is pretty wild. sure, ocean waves powered by high tides and hurricanes are *notoriously* less forceful than *other* flooding, i guess?
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 11h
OUCH!!!
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 20h
harold bloom just scurrying around used bookstores, defacing flyleafs
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 20h
"With 60 percent less sass-mouth!"
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 21h
oh that's horrible.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 22h
everything in LA sewers is backwashing into those surges and you could not PAY me to walk in them without chest high waders
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 22h
The Source Family. it's from 2012. one of the guys started a tech staffing firm and he sold it for $60million. another guy is apparently a leader in stem cell research. all the women basically became service workers. i'm sure there's no coincidence.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 22h
"150 people lived in a three bedroom house built by catherine deneuve" perfection, no notes
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 22h
maybe red bull sponsoring extreme sports is a grand conspiracy to ferret out pervs
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 22h
watching a documentary on The Source and i'm sorry, the leader of a sex cult died by HANG GLIDING? the 1970s were just wild. wild.
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
how does it matter if the flood water is waves or rain? legitimately, i'd like to know. it's moving water, there are storm drains filled with god knows what backwashing
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
buncha anti-vax beach city republicans fixin' to get lockjaw by puttin' on flip flops and walkin' through shit-infused floodwaters
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
i know down in the beach cities you got your big ol' weenie lifted pickups or whatever but can you please just, for once, not do something stupid that my tax dollars have to pay to rescue you from
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALIFORNIANS DO NOT TREAD INTO FLOODWATERS, THAT IS HOW YOU GET SWEPT AWAY AND DIE IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN UP TO DATE TETANUS/DIPTHERIA SHOT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF FLOODWATERS DO NOT FUCK WITH EVEN 2" OF MOVING FLOOD WATER DO NOT DRIVE THROUGH FLOOD WATER
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
i did not have to read SINNERS IN THE HAND OF AN ANGRY GOD four thousand times to give up on the good ol' American tool of speechifyin'
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
guys if i'm seeing headlines about chuck lorre giving an anti-trump speech i think your average democrat lawmaker needs to understand we are starvin' for good oration this country was literally built on firebrand speeches, and i have get get them from the EP of Two and A Half Men? c'mon
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
bring a bunch of heads of lettuce and you can be king of tortoise island
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Emily J. Edwards @msemilyedwards.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
it was not. it is a very known island of tortoises, tortoises they have been counting for many years. known tortoises.
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