Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Simply wonderful. Bravo sir, bravo 🇬🇧 👏 611110
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Just landed at Heathrow and when everyone turned their phones on that gov alarm went off. People absolutely shit themselves. Pathetic. Not me obviously, I was as cool as ice. (Phone was on mute and I thought it was a notification from hsbc about a loan I havent paid back). 0831
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Nothing to see here girls just a guy working on his attachment style at 745am. 😎 1112114
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Oh no I’ve accidentally posted this video 61368
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 20/07/2026It’s all over. World Cup over , Wimbledon over. Nothing to distract you but the terrifying reality of your own thoughts now. Never mind, it’ll be autumn soon where everything dies. 3848867
Reposted by Alistair Greendawse of the dead @dawse.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Psst, you might like this with @mralistairgreen.bsky.social and Rachel Stubbings. Christ I need to seriously up my out of office game. So do you. 3151
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 24/06/2026In the heatwave of 1976 there were NO weather warnings, in fact I vividly remember actually putting my penis in the toaster just to warm up because I was so COLD. It’s PATHETIC what this country has become. Welcome to Burnhams Britain. 😡 617119
Reposted by Alistair GreenChris @silverybeams.bsky.social · 10/06/2026Oh my god, this is what I was hoping for when I saw trailed on IG @mralistairgreen.bsky.social 1213
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 10/06/2026I’ll be unveiling my ai art of a sleeping lion draped in a Union Jack in front of Big Ben being woken up by a little girl saying ‘we need you its time to wake up’ while some stirring music plays in the background shortly. Very pleased with it actually. 111037
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 26/05/2026‘If I go for a quick pint now I can do my work later on instead when it’s cooler and easier to concentrate yeh I’ll do that it makes more sense’ Classic. 21386
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 12/05/2026@uklabourparty.bsky.social heard you were looking for a new leader .. 😎 513314
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 08/05/2026The most misguided thing ppl say is ‘social media isnt real life’. Yes it is. Ppl are on their phone 24/7. Theyre cancelling plans so they can look at their phone. Everyone in yr train carriage is scrolling their phone.Nobody knows whats real anymore and everybody is angry. 2837945
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Please be careful when posting #dogsatpollingstations photos there are some very sick individuals out there. 0291
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Formal apology for my video the other day about the coffee shop. Not too proud to admit I messed up. Sorry guys x 191576
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 24/04/2026Treated like absolute shit in local coffee shop 81336
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Everything about America is embarrassing. Listen to the names of their stupid states- Ohio. Kentucky. Wyoming. Pathetic. Where is your HULL. Your BATH. Your KENT. Grow up. 🇬🇧 91212
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Any pubs showing the nuclear war tonight ? Not looking for anywhere ticketed not worth it. 41077
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 05/04/2026Love it when people say ‘had to check that tweet from trump was real!’ . Really. You thought I’ll have to verify this because it sounds completely out of character. 5906
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 05/04/2026What’s everyone doing for power plant day? We never do much in our house so probably just a chilled one with family. Maybe a bond film in the afternoon with a bit of carrot cake. 👍 1118316
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Fantastic day today. Wrote ‘who?’ under a photo of a new comedian in a tv show and someone replied under my comment ‘yep me neither 😂😂😂😂’ Absolutely buzzing. 😎 41332
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 29/03/2026The clocks have changed AGAIN. Just when you get used to it they pull the rug out from under you. It’s a GAME to them. I’d rather have never been born than have to live like this. 919223
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 27/03/2026Derek Wardrobe Remembered- a bbc4 special 1310111
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 24/03/2026I’ve had quite the morning already lol! 💞💞💞 111387
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 23/03/2026Talking to someone who went on the same European city break as you except they took in all the culture while you just got hammered for 3 days 113512
Reposted by Alistair GreenChristina Martin @christinamartin.bsky.social · 22/03/2026@mralistairgreen.bsky.social this bin is doing your shtick. 1271
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Just seen David Beckham in the queue to see Chuck Norris lying in state. Say what you like about the man but you have to respect that. 3964
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 20/03/2026One book I don’t need to ever read is gullivers travels. Man gets washed up on an island of little people or something then there’s another bit where everyone’s big I think (?) and it’s meant to be a satire about whatever. I get it I don’t need to read it. 7571
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Brushed my teeth while having a piss this morning (gross, unhygienic) and the electric toothbrush fell out my mouth and into the toilet and carried on buzzing in my piss and I just stood there staring at it for about 30 seconds. 11873
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 19/03/2026Why do people say that by their nature sketch shows are always a bit hit and miss? I’ve made hundreds of sketches on my phone and never missed once. Why are they writing misses? 5901
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Think it’s a real shame the new dinosaurs series on Netflix uses ai. Sure it’s cheaper this way but I can’t help but wonder what footage a camera crew could have got by filming these magnificent creatures up close in the wild if Netflix had stumped up the cash. 31116
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Theres a bit in the Netflix Dinosaur series where it says it rained for a MILLION years. Humans could be wiped out in a nuclear bomb and we’d just be a footnote in Earths history. We’re utterly insignificant. Not me obviously, I’m significant but apart from me I mean. 1725223
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Although I narrowly missed out on an Oscar nomination this year (I guess mens mental health means nothing- good to know) I want ppl to know this will not deter me- it will only drive me on. And to the judges I say this- you have made a grave, GRAVE error in making an enemy of me. 61194
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 04/03/2026We really need to be honest with ourselves in the uk and admit we are not capable of producing politicians of this calibre . It’s embarrassing to pretend otherwise. I’m seeing people say ‘hes our mamdani’ above a photo of Ed Milliband. 6552
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 04/03/2026Tried to bond with my mum by sending her the sort of lame comedy meme she sends me and this was her reply 71451
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 04/03/2026Just generally when people say they ‘dont understand the hate’ for influencers living in Dubai are they being serious? 616311
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 01/03/2026Yes I missed out on best album at the brits this year (didnt get time to make album) but I can still hold my head high and be proud. Im sure Olivia deans is good (havent listened) but for me Im focused more on artistry than mainstream success. Different strokes as they say 🤷♂️ 31002
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 26/02/2026Like most people I vote for the party that annoys the people I dislike the most at that time. My entire worldview is based on spite. 3841
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 26/02/2026I actually got down to the last 2 for the role of Heathcliff in withering heights. They went with erlordi in the end who I’m sure did a competent job (didn’t see it) and I guess what I would have brought to the role will remain one of the great ‘what ifs’ of modern cinema. 41367
Alistair Green @mralistairgreen.bsky.social · 26/02/2026Just received the Galton and simpson or whatever election result from my source inside the count . Cant say too much atm for legal reasons but very interesting. VERY interesting indeed. 8952
