mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/07/2026lowkey i'm only wrong when i say or think something that is incorrect 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 01/05/2026(drinking soy sauce like a beer) hey buddy. why don't you shut the fuck up *stumbles and falls through a glass table* and clean that up too 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 28/04/2026lost in the desert so i left a trail of pube hair hope someone finds me soon 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 02/04/2026you're in your car crashing out. i'm out crashing my car. we are not the same 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 05/12/2025is it just me or is the pharmacy counter looking lowkey climbable lately 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/10/2025girl are you succotash? bc you look like you're suffering 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/10/2025can't even vape with my newborn son around he lowkey kinda pissing me tf off 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 27/09/2025and on the same weekend as the circus, too. damn. maybe i'll see if this whore can juggle 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/09/2025i walk on the sidewalk all day long eight hours walking i take ONE minute to cross a moderately busy six lane highway and everyone loses their minds 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/09/2025if you ever get so fed up with life you feel like screaming, you should probably wait until you're alone. but you're never alone because theres bugs. such is life 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 06/09/2025if you wanna post, then post. if you don't, then don't. 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 22/08/2025toilet paper addicts be like "no i have to wipe my ass! i can't go more than a day without toilet paper!" think about your dependencies and who they affect. change. do better. 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 24/07/2025what did you say it was called, air "conditioning"? seems a little manipulative, no? 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 28/06/2025how much do you really know about parabolas? Have you ever seen one in the wild? I haven't. Think about that. 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 14/06/2025hey man do you wanna come over and watch American Ninja Warrior sponsored by chevron with techron presents Rupaul's Stanford Prison Experiment 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/04/2025another day goes by. another week goes by. another month goes by and elon musk is still a huge loser ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 25/03/2025toddler on a tricycle cut me off on the highway today. he turned around and he had a big lolipop he was licking. i flashed my lights at him and he exploded into a million trillion pieces 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 22/03/2025if someones being mean to you you just gotta say something nice about them and it will break their brain. and that leaves them vulnerable to counterattacks from many angles. follow for more livestock tips 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 15/03/2025dude the swings are so lowkey fire... got me goin WHEEEEEE! 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 12/03/2025gaslighting the grinch into stealing other holidays besides christmas 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/02/2025can't quite figure out all that potty training shit imma just buy diapers from now on. easier to shit myself than run to the bathroom. good news is i'm qualified to become the next president of the united states 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 16/02/2025most useless piece of equipment in a cop car hands down has to be the driver 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 09/02/2025(alien who doesnt have genitals but still wants to be relatable) damn i'd wipe my ass to this song 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 07/02/2025when a woman comes into the hallway near the elevator i give her space out of respect but then the elevator comes and i'm already upstairs 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 05/02/2025putting on my wizard hat and yelling "i cast accelerated wind!" before opening the emergency door at 30,000 feet #ideas #goals #consequences 011
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 03/02/2025i've just been drafted into the War Against Drugs. on the side of drugs 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 22/01/2025just got a haircut for super cheap at petsmart grooming they done fucked my shit up i asked for a taper fade and they made me look like a damb poodle 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 16/01/2025i went to club tornado everybody was flying around the room and shit 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 11/01/2025i wish there was more to life than just laying in bed and posting online. but that's just the way it is and i don't feel like questioning that 000
Reposted by mousenemyBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 11/01/2025What is the charge? Writing a post? An innocent online post? 1266688595
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 09/01/2025mr president, sir... the ice cream, it's flavor... it has cookie dough chunks AND brownie bits president warcrime: my god. bomb that middle eastern town 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 05/01/2025forcing a post to be funny never works. you just gotta post it when it comes to you, and the other drivers on the road honestly need to respect that 000
Reposted by mousenemyJeannette Søgaard @candmageloes.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Life fuck Is your Short friends 💕 1692955298
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 29/12/2024if i ever get thrown in jail just know imma start meowing like a motherfucker until i get released. then i'll turn around & want back inside 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 28/12/2024they should make an express checkout for sluts & whores at the grocery store 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 26/12/2024(presses a button under my desk) move my hot steamy sex appointment to 4:30. i have to post about some things online 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 26/12/2024i mean sure you can drop that ass lower than anybody on earth but do you have comedic timing? do you have a volkswagon jetta with over 130k miles? i didnt think so the other judges on masked singer or what ever: hey can we talk to u during commercial 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 26/12/2024if i destroy all domesticated animals on earth we'd have to start domesticating new animals and that would be annoying. so i don't want that actually the genie who is forced to grant me three wishes: okay 010
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 26/12/2024you say you hate ads but how will you know when that miniature bulldozer is available for purchase on temu for $1? how will you know that. there goes your fucking argument buddy 000
mousenemy @mousenemy.bsky.social · 18/12/2024one thing i'll do as president is make sure swiss cheese has a consistent number of holes, and the diameter and depth of said holes will also be properly regulated 000
