Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Humans are infinitely beautiful, said the three dimensional flesh creature 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 27/08/2026The CIA director didn’t fly to Moscow to offer a deal where they help with Iran and we help with Ukraine, right? Cool, just checking 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 07/08/2026NYT: Remember ice cream? Cold, sweet and sticky, it’s the highlight of a hot summer’s day. Me: You mean fro-yo? NYT: No, ice cream. It’s different. Me: … NYT: You can get it on a cone, or in a cup… Me: I’m pretty sure you’re talking about fro-yo 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 22/07/2026They’re so terrified of everything, must be exhausting 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 22/07/2026I hope none of them were prisoners of war, he famously hates those guys 062
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Cut to the conspiracy accidentally being uncovered when Kash Patel’s gf has a gig at the Kremlin 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026I’ve stopped believing in so many things over the last several years, one of those things is “white hat hackers who have the ability to break into any computer database” 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026I guess my deal is that when I concentrate I’m able to see the infinite and overwhelming beauty in everything, but also I assume the “beauty” is actually just my tiny li’l meat brain short circuiting? 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Wait, what if it WASN’T just a “Roman salute” 😨😨😨 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 08/07/2026My pitch to George R.R. Martin is for him to go meta with the last two books - insert himself as a character, incorporate writer’s block into the magic system 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 08/07/2026It’s almost as if a bunch of rich people make money when oil prices jump around, especially if they have insider information. Weird! 020
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Doesn’t Iran know that they can get away with blowing up ships in international waters if they call them drug boats? That’s okay now, right? 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 07/07/2026The Minions using the Necronomicon to summon Cthulhu was on my 2026 bingo card, if Tilly Norwood gets a cabinet position then I WIN THE PRIZE 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Do extra dimensional aliens find it cute that our scientists put so much effort into exploring and describing the 3D universe 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 05/07/2026The inclusion of “September” in this July 4th medley is a genius choice 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 04/07/2026After last night’s apocalyptic thunderstorm followed by fireworks, this morning my dog did his “Father, see the treats up there on the shelf?” routine, except for his Doggy Prozac 111
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Pretty sure this is the first time I’ve gotten a text from ConEd saying “heads up, we’re gonna send you less electricity, some of your stuff might not work” I HOPE THE DATA CENTERS WILL BE OKAY 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Stop complaining about Trump spending so much money on construction projects, you obviously know nothing about the man. He never pays contractors 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Today’s NY Times crossword has a clue deliberately designed to troll improv comedy people: “Bit of improv” (4 letters) 120
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 22/06/2026You can’t make me learn about the hot new band Geese and then a year later reveal that this whole time there’s also been an even more successful band called Goose 011
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 21/06/2026It would be so unfortunate if somebody made a scale model of Epstein Island and floated it out into the middle of the reflecting pool 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 20/06/2026Hey remember when we blew up the leader of another country because we thought the country might be a threat some day? So is that legal now, or what exactly is the deal 010
Reposted by Morgan PhillipsThe Onion @theonion.com · 18/06/2026Get on board. InfoWars launches July 2, 8 p.m. EST 472479510
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Serious question: If Elon has a stroke, does the US economy crash? 110
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Worried that while I’m away my A.I. appliances say cruel things to my dog 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 12/06/2026Remember when the first trillionaire said Trump wasn’t releasing the files because he was in the files? And he is indeed in the files, and he’s not releasing the files because he’s in the files? Do you remember that? Wild. Anyway, excited for the bloodsport fight at the Lincoln Memorial 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 12/06/2026If only he’d been a trillionaire 12 years ago, I bet he wouldn’t have had to beg so hard to visit the island 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 08/06/2026I hope one day we’re visited by god-like space aliens who share their utopian blueprint with us and it’s literally just “if someone’s personal wealth surpasses a billion astro dollars then we eat them” 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Personally I’d have needed more specific information about the cheese than “tangy” 030
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 08/06/2026I’m not sure how much longer this fragile ceasefire will hold 000
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 03/06/2026There are currently Toy Story 5 audio ads on NYC subway trains and in stations, and they are GLORIOUS. Excruciatingly loud and garbled, totally incomprehensible except for something about “tech” and a snippet of Randy Newman melody. This is the dystopian Singularity we were promised 010
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 02/06/2026They’re going to do it in the ballroom, it’ll be like in Return of the Jedi when the Emperor reveals the Death Star is fully operational 130
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 01/06/2026If you’re confused about the term “ceasefire” and how it now includes the possibility of active fighting, you are old fashioned and still clinging to the idea that words have permanent meanings. We are still in a ceasefire, we have always been in a ceasefire 011
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 31/05/2026Are we not all assuming the drones are there to protect the bunker during the next insurrection? 🤔 020
Morgan Phillips @morgan.bsky.social · 30/05/2026Imagine how cool the movie would be if he had a 10’ vertical leap 110