iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 27/09/2026

Uh, his name is Marion "Cobra" Cobretti - show some respect.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 22/09/2026

See this is why I have to drink so much Mountain Dew - I'm only getting half a star of health each time.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 17/09/2026

Another day, another email suggested domain names I might also want. I'm not saying I don't.

monkeefluids.com
munkyfluids.com
monkeefluids.io

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 02/09/2026

Thought this headline was about me to begin with - I was getting quite worried until I hit the last two words.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 31/08/2026

Barely in the top 10 - gotta make room for Loaded Weapon 1.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 20/08/2026

What's your favorite Bible verse? Wrong answers only.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 14/08/2026

The auto-generated chapter headings are having a good time of it this episode:

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 05/07/2026

We are the podcast that isn't afraid to tell the real truth.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 18/06/2026

Yep, that'll do. Thanks for the views and the likes and whatnot - maybe I'll do this again in another twenty years. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #onelastmonkey www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/and-...

The sad fact is that after twenty years of this, it’s all Timmy knows anymore. He’d pray for death, if he still remembered what those words mean.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 17/06/2026

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a sort of fffthhhppt sound. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #fartjoke www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/apre...

“IBS playing up, Doris? That was a particularly nasty one. No use trying to wave it away—it’s already stripped the pattern off that wall!”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 15/06/2026

As we near the end of the Monkey Fluids 20th Anniversary Victory Lap/Pathetic Last Wheeze, a bit of tawdry vulgarity. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #entersandman www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/need...

“You said we were going to play Enter Sandman, but I don’t see any instruments out here.” “Quiet, Sandman.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 11/06/2026

The first time I posted this joke, I left off the second punchline, because I wasn't sure if it worked better without it. Consider this a particularly roundabout kind of A/B testing. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #abtesting www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/advi...

“OK, take this down: Dear Agony Aunt, I (20F) live in an uncaring universe (13,700,000,000NB) that’s indifferent to my dreams, desires and very existence as it spirals towards its inevitable heat death. Should we try anal?”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 10/06/2026

I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 08/06/2026

Once again, a phrase gets stuck in my head and needs a comic to exorcise it. This time, the phrase was "mercantile blowjobbery". #comics #webcomic #monkeyfluids #mercantileblowjobbery www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/this...

“Sorry, good harlot, but your sexual services will find no custom here.” “No, I’m not a—” “AWAY, WOMAN! Vex me not with your mercantile blowjobbery!” “You just want me to leave so you can fuck that dog.” “Impudence! My relationship with Huggles concerns you not! Also, yes.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 03/06/2026

I feel like I could have done something with "ectoplasm"/"exorcism" but I never quite got there. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #exorcism www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/who-...

“BACK TO THE DARKNESS, ABOMINATION! I ABJURE THEE!” As the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man sank into the ground for good, Marjorie marvelled at how much easier a good old-fashioned exorcism was than all that silly business with positron colliders and proton packs.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 01/06/2026

Each month starts with a new monkey comic. This shall be the whole of the Law. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #superracist www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/06/a-cr...

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 27/05/2026

We all knew little cakes were evil but only I am brave enough to say it. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #littlecakes www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/drug...

“I tell you, these little cakes are my heroin!” “I thought heroin was your heroin?” “No—heroin is my mescaline, mescaline is my ketamine and ketamine is Bertie’s embalming fluid.” “My what?” “Nothing, Bertie. Hush now.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 27/05/2026

On one hand, curse my accent and its abuse of innocent vowels; on the other, "Jim and the Holograms" has real possibilities...

Holograms.
Here
at
the
Podcaster's
Guide
to
the
Conspiracy,
we
aren't
normally
interested
in
holograms
unless
they're
preceded
by
the
words
Jim
and
the.
But
for
the
second
time,
hold
on,
isn't
this
a
previously
on?

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 25/05/2026

The butler did it. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/higg...

“Yep—as a fucking doornail. ‘Cannot kill what does not live’ my arse.” Judith brought in a second serving of holy water tea, but there was no need—Higgins’ plan had worked perfectly, and Linda the Littlest Lich Queen was no more.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 21/05/2026

And I guess this one was inspired by They Live. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #thirdeyeblind www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/do-d...

“It’s amazing—when I put these glasses on, I can see secret messages in billboards and on TV!”
“Doreen, you’re not wearing glasses.”
“Well I’ll be. Schizophrenia, you sly mix—you’ve got me again!”
All laugh; freeze frame; “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind plays over end credits

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 18/05/2026

This comic was genuinely inspired by the movie Con Air. #comics #webcomics #monkeyfluids #conair www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/what...

“Nope, just mountains of pornography in this one as well.” “Don’t worry—we’ll find Daddy’s insulin soon enough, I’m sure.” “Yes, it’ll be fine. He’s even stopped making those noises now.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 13/05/2026

Today I'm upping the nostalgia by posting a comic that will be completely unreadable on a phone! #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #notasexthing www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/not-...

A voice came from the other side of the room:
“Ah, Rebecca—you’re awake. I expect you have many questions, so let me see if I can answer some of them. First of all, no, this is not a sex thing. It’s not. I’m a kidnapper; I’ve kidnapped you for ransom, not for sex reasons. Because this isn’t a sex thing. Yes, you are tied to a bed, and yes, beds are where sex occurs, but it’s just because I don’t want you to get away and the bed was the most convenient item of furniture to restrain you on. Similarly, while you are gagged, this is again for kidnapping reasons—preventing you from crying out and alerting people to your location—not for any sort of choking, asphyxiation fetish purposes. Perish the thought.
“If you need the toilet at any stage, I’ll escort you to the bathroom—I don’t want you soiling the bed clothes. And if I did, it wouldn’t be some sort of sex thing, it’d be because I’m a callous kidnapper who cares not for your comfort. Not a sex thing. If I hear afterwards that people are saying this was a sex thing, I’ll know it’s because you lied to them and I’ll be very disappointed, because I feel I’ve been very clear on how much of a sex thing this isn’t.
“Now, relax and try not to strain yourself—I’ll just be over here making a ransom note out of letters I’ve cut from a newspaper with a pair of plastic scissors. The plastic scissors are a sex thing.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 11/05/2026

For your own safety, please don't handle the eldritch beings. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #trousers www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/dest...

As Col. Wilbur grabbed the Young Gentleman by the shoulders and pushed it away, its spine yielded disturbingly easily. It bent back, and further back, and further back, and began to wail—too late, his men realised their guns would not save them.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 06/05/2026

Should've sent a poet? They bloody did. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #iambic #90sreferences www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/bert...

"...so say you'll be my Valentine/ And pray, don't think me oafish.
In turn I'll be your concubine/ The Hootie to your Blowfish."
"Oh Bertie, that was wonderful - so iambic!"
"And such current references!"
"Well then you'll like my next one, girls - I call it I'd like to put my Portishead in your Luscious Jackson."

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 04/05/2026

New month means new monkey - I don't make the rules. I mean, obviously I do - I just don't take responsibility for the rules. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #constipation www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/05/may-...

“Mm, yes, that’s some fairly severe constipation, if your stance is anything to go by. Don’t worry—this poultice will draw everything out.” “Out through my head, Doctor Chimp?” “Indeed. Gracie, fetch a bucket. And an umbrella.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 30/04/2026

In one sense, this comic is a few hours late. In another, more accurate sense, it's around 34 years late. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #kriskross www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/sudd...

“Wait a minute - 'some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like this’ DOESN’T RHYME.”
It had taken over thirty years, but Suki finally had Kris Kross’s number.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 27/04/2026

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to top the original:

"He's not my real uncle!" cried Valerie.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 27/04/2026

Of course, the idea of a secret agent becoming romantically interested in the person they're protecting is ludicrous, hence the comedy. www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/from... #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #agentnatalya

Although Agent Natalya’s stealth suit blended perfectly with the car’s upholstery, its effect was lessened by her constantly breaking concealment to eye fuck the ambassador’s daughter.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 22/04/2026

Did this count as a pop culture reference? Is Austen "pop"? #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #prideandprejudice www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/aust...

“...just as long as they stay out of women’s bathrooms! Now, if you want to know who really runs the world…” *disapproving growl* Lucy the bigoted teen detective and her clue-sniffing lions fight crime in PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, streaming now.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 20/04/2026

There's no way I'm the first to make this joke, but I'm not Googling to see how unoriginal I am. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #donnerparty www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/no-s...

“So… nothing’s happening tonight after all?” “No, sorry - when I said there’s a party in my pants, I meant the Donner Party.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 15/04/2026

The "goose up the chimney" thing is actually true (or at least a persistent Internet myth, which is the same thing these days). #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #chimneysweeep www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/grea...

In the age when sweeps would pull a goose up the flue pipe to clean it out, Old Lady Maureen was the first to suggest swapping to small children. Alas, pulling a goose up a small child made an even bigger mess, so they just sent the kids into the chimneys instead.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 13/04/2026

Sometimes you get a phrase stuck in your head and the only way to get it out is to turn it into art. "Tripping so hard you'll shit out your balls" was one such phrase for me. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #shitoutyourballs www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/unne...

“Here we go!” exclaimed Betsy. “Down a couple of these lovelies and you’ll be tripping so hard you’ll shit out your balls!” “Shit out my balls? Timmy inquired. “Does that mean shit will come out of my balls, or my balls will come out of my ass like shit?” Betsy stared into the distance and was silent for a long time before quietly answering “...yes.”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 09/04/2026

Any excuse to use the word "squamous", frankly. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #squamous www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/fuck...

“G’morning to ye, Jeeves! Go tell Master Lovecraft that I’ve brought a couple more o’ them Innsmouth sprats for his collection. Had ta dress’em as schoolchildren to get past the Law, but they’re plenty squamous, don’t you worry!”

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 06/04/2026

The original version of this one was popular with the perverts of Reddit - let's see if this gets the historians, or at least the pervert historians. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #stalin www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/boo-...

'A g-g-g-ghost!' 'J-J-J-Joseph Stalin!' Scene from the pilot episode
of Stalin & Spook, Attorneys at Law. The show ran for fifteen seasons
before being violently purged from all records.

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 01/04/2026

New month = new Monkey. I have decided this is the rule now. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #solventabuse www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/04/a-di...

Not content with gluing Timmy’s knees together, the devious Professor Pongo now sought to affix his head to the back of his jacket. If she wasn’t careful, Gracie would end up with her hand stuck to the poor boy as well.

020

Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 31/03/2026

If you get this one we can be friends. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #obscurereference www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/03/obsc...

"Why did you say that twice?" "I didn't."

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 29/03/2026

As true there as it is here.

Fortunately, I'm clear of the whole thing by not giving a single fuck about Harry Potter. I give negative fucks. The Harry Potter franchise owes me fucks.

010

Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 25/03/2026

Twenty years on, Timmy still can't catch a break. #comic #webcomic #monkeyfluids #wickerman www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/03/timm...

'Look, Mummy - the snow is easing! Maybe the harvest won't be ruined.'
'We're well past that point, Timmy. Back in the wicker man.'

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 23/03/2026

The title refers to his karmic debt. www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/03/his-... #webcomic #webcomics #monkeyfluids #karma

“...so the game was ‘Would You Rather be a man with a horse dick or a horse with a man dick?’ One thing lead to another; Buddhist suicide pact; and now I can definitively state that Dave was right. How about you?” *tweet*

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Josh Addison @monkeyfluids.com · 18/03/2026

Appealing to the etymology nerds - if this doesn't build me an audience, I don't know what will. www.monkeyfluids.com/2026/03/two-... #webcomic #webcomics #etymology #linguistics