Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I’m drinking methane, ethane, propane, butane, pentane, hexane, octane, and nonane, but never HEPTANE 011
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Fun life hack: eat batteries for an immediate energy boost. I prefer Ds personally, but if those are too hard to swallow a handful of AAs work just as well 110
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Very sorry about my niece’s inactivity on Twitch lately. She was shot in the tummy with a cadmium-tipped hollow point round fired from a cartel helicopter in San Diego. This Friday, she will be doing a stream where she gets revenge. 001
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I’m feeling a little hungry, might bite off all my fingers for dinner tonight 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I heard the Bronze Age collapse just hit Winnipeg Manitoba, pray for them 111
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I’ve started calling all my friends “my worms” and when we hang out I call that a “wiggle puddle”. I’m open to licensing these terms to anyone who is interested for great value, hit me up 000
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026If you’re ever bored you should try inserting an entire lightbulb into your mouth The game is to try to remove it without breaking the bulb, your teeth, or your jaw Whenever I play this the hours just float on by 140
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026We need to normalize getting your dick sucked crazy style by an elderly man with no teeth 132
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Something happened 25 years ago on this day, but I can’t remember it for the life of me 000
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Something happened a year ago on this day, it escapes me at the moment 000
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 10/09/2026I want to kiss the rabbit from Zootopia. Has anyone else ever felt something like this? 140
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 09/09/2026My father knew Obama when he was still in the larval stage and said he was never nothin to look at 030
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Just split the beef atom for the first time in human history 040
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Just invented a new particle, calling it the “Moeon”. Should expect the Nobel prize to arrive in my mailbox any day now 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Just finished listening to “Killing my wife with a hammer” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Phenomenal piece of music. Highly recommend. 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 25/08/2026The real Jelly Roll died years ago and the current one is a fraud. I know this because Jelly Roll was my COUSIN, and the current one is one of my evil cousins 000
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 22/08/2026I’m planning on interviewing Red from Angry Birds on what his experience was like having sex for the first time. Have any of you done something like this before? Any tips? Much appreciated 031
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026It’s real now. I chose one of you, not saying who. It knows where you are and will always want to be near you. I hope you enjoy 052
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 19/08/2026What if there was an ant the size of a house cat and it had all your memories? 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I used to play Angry Birds in real life by grabbing pigeons and pelting them into brick walls so fast that they exploded into a cloud of red mist and feathers. I don’t move like that anymore, but god I fucking miss those days 040
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 15/08/2026I just stepped on the frog equivalent of Pol Pot, you can thank me later 030
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Eating cigarettes for breakfast lunch and dinner just as the doctor ordered 130
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Don’t even TRY to serve me a drink unless it has one living and one dead frog in it! 120
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 09/08/2026My mother called me a pussy for the first 22 years of my life not even knowing that she had one herself! 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 08/08/2026I’ve got a lot of things you know? Like today, I was looking at my cockroach and my red sphere. 020
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Things happen to me, and sometimes I happen to things 140
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 06/08/2026I’ve got a backpack with an anvil in it that I take to Santa Monica sometimes. The kids love it. 020
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Bitches can’t stand it when I start talking about grapes. It usually only takes 10 seconds before they start trying to cave in my skull with a rock 040
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 03/08/2026My pet dog just tested “pawsitive” for canine AIDS cancer 🐶 020
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Just let 1 trillion people die in my hyper detailed simulation of the whole universe because I was bored 020
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 31/07/2026There is something so beautiful about the virgin mind of a fish 021
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 31/07/2026There is fungus everywhere, and we just need to make our peace with that 020
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 31/07/2026An eagle flew into my living room this morning. By noon I was breastfeeding it. THAT’S how you show dominance over the animal kingdom. 130
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Me and the rustiest screwdriver I own are going hunting for Nevada license plates today 041
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I’m having duck cock soup for dinner tonight with the missus 010
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Sometimes I ask the kids at my local park if they believe in god without hurting them at all. 031
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I quantum tunnel into my niece’s bedroom every evening to wish her a good night and give her a little peck on the cheek 000
Moe Ottis @moeottis.bsky.social · 27/07/2026I’m the most beautiful man in human and non-human history 010
