iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s not halachically obligated to eat pizza right after Pesach

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 30/03/2026

Someone please tell this guy his tattoo doesn’t mean “luck” 😭

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

Classic joke: On vacation, a rabbi walks into a non-kosher restaurant and thinks “Eh, why not?" He asks for a seat outside and decides if he’s gonna do it, he's gonna go big. He orders a whole roasted suckling pig, complete with an apple in its mouth.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

12 is the only acceptable score (even though gefilte fish is gross)

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

REPORT: Researchers have discovered a sixth love language — fresh sufganiyot

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Just watched my kids play dreidel for 20 minutes and I thought wow kids are so easily entertained and then I realized I just watched my kids play dreidel for 20 minutes

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

At the museum, I saw a menorah with a 2000 year old oil stain. Yup. Ancient Greece…

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Two ultimate truths in this world: 1. Hashem is one 2. No woman wearing a dress with pockets will EVER fail to mention it has pockets upon receiving a compliment on said dress

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 23/06/2025

The Strait of Hormuz sounds like something you’d find on a seder plate

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

I haven’t seen two titans clash like this since Hillel and Shammai

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

This really has been the best season of The Apprentice yet

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

Why do teenagers only count odd days of the Omer? Because, like, they totally can’t even.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

How I think I look on Lag B’Omer vs how I really look

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Fun Fact: Lag B’Omer is the day Jewish barbers earn their mane income

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Where do you buy stuff for a lag b’omer cookout? Kohls.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 12/05/2025

Moishe tells his mom he's in love and says, "I'm gonna bring over 3 women and you try to guess which one I'm gonna marry." The next day, he brings 3 women home. “Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm gonna marry." She replies, “The one on the right." "Amazing. How did you know? "I don't like her."

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

Mathematics? Pfft. Give me a pope that double majored in Jewish philosophy and Talmudic studies

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

When cardinals flip out in yeshiva

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

We don’t throw away perfectly good Shabbos leftovers in my house. We put it in Tupperware, wait for it to go bad, and then we throw it away.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 29/04/2025

I, for one, like counting the Omer with Roman numerals

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 27/04/2025

For Sefirat HaOmer this year, I bought my kids beads for an abacus. It's the little things that count.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 21/04/2025

BREAKING: King Solomon shared military plans on group chat which included his 1000 wives

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 16/04/2025

At the seder I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor 😩

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 10/04/2025

That moment you finish Passover cleaning

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

Smells just like Bubbe’s house

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

While I was cleaning for Pesach, a Haggadah fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

BREAKING: UN declares Israel Appreciation Day

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

HAMAN It’s settled. The 13th of Adar is the day. ZERESH Yes. We'll be there. PARSHANDATHA Can’t wait. VAIZATHA Don't forget your swords! MORDECHAI Um, guys?

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

BREAKING: Disney’s Snow White remake earns lower rating than middle school Purim play

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 24/03/2025

Forget JFK. Release the Menorah files.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

This Purim, I’ve never seen so many Batman costumes in my life 🧡 Who is like Your nation Israel?

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

If Mordechai worked at DOGE: “Esther, email me five things you accomplished last week or someone else will”

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

Scary to think how many followers Haman would have today on social media

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Hashem, give me the confidence of a man who preemptively builds gallows for his enemies

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

I need to get I need to be some work done sameach for Adar ( •_•) (•_• ) ( ง )ง ୧( ୧ ) /︶\ /︶\

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

Rabbi: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Hershel: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

The first 6 days after Shabbos are the hardest

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Where did Vashti go when she lost her tail? A retail store, of course.

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

Thinking of going as a band-aid for Purim, but it’ll probably be hard to pull off

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Modern Talmud @moderntalmud.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

“Apricot is the best hamantaschen filling”

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