iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I don’t know about you, but I love having my brain teained. Expecially with pinictures of cnats.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

‘When do you douche?’ Bit of a personal question.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

I wouldn’t immediately guess ’team’ if some guy told me he wanted me on his ‘man shaft’.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

You want me to say it in English in German…?

In English: Try saying ‘Brauchst du mehr Kleidung?’ in German.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

The real punchline is that her ‘chilling words’ were that it was a ‘bad noise’.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

I’m guessing, ‘I really don’t care, do u?’

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

Is it me, or are the Duolingo lessons getting harder?

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

My brother is a fuckoffer (that is, one who fucks off for a living).

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

I’m nowhere near fluent, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how ‘perfekt’ is pronounced, though it sounds like something one might say when one burns one’s Kartoffelpuffer. Honestly, this Duolingo update is glitchy.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

‘My sister is lusty’? Okay, if you incest…

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

Duolingo just decided to rearrange all of the lessons. I’ve suddenly been dumped into lessons with material I haven’t learnt. I decided to go over old lessons to catch up. This is a sentence: Biscuits and tea, bye. What scenario is that for? All those times you order in a café and then run away?

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

My uncle loves my… taint? That can’t be right…

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

TIL that the word ‘bull’ comes from bulô, and according to Wiktionary, ‘The original meaning may have been “testicle”’. This means that when it came to naming bulls, someone asked, ‘What’s that called?’ And someone replied, ‘I dunno, but have you seen the bollocks on it?!’

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

For reference. This is United Kingdom in German.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

Duolingo thinks I can pronounce the German for United Kingdom correctly, but not the name of my own town, Amble.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 17/02/2026

Found this by the side of the road. It’s been run over and has skid marks.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

My younger sister got me this for Christmas. It’s like a ‘Where’s Wally?’ (Or Waldo or other regional variant) book. It’s much easier than the ‘Finding Muhammad’ book she got me last year. That thing was impossible!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Amazon suggested this as a gift for mothers.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

I bought some of this today, and on the way home, I noticed I had a split in my Regina. Plus, it was raining. Nothing worse than a wet Regina!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

No, you can’t park there, mate.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

Some idiot camouflaged the bollard! I nearly walked into that!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

Jesus Christ, now it thinks I'm Victor fucking Hugo!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

Google now thinks I'm at least 85 years old.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

As promised, here are some of the pages from my upcoming book, The MisreadBible: Joshua. www.misreadbible.com/books/joshua

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

As promised, here's the full cover of my new book, The MisreadBible: Joshua (www.misreadbible.com/books/joshua), which is due to be published on the 30th September.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 05/09/2025

Since people have been asking me for the link to my new book, I decided to make business cards. Any suggestions about where I can stick them?

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 02/09/2025

Trump’s not dead. He was photographed relaxing by the beach. #WeekendAtDonnies

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

Autocorrect completely changed the meaning.

I had tampon with maple syrup
Fucking autocorrect!
Gammon

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

According to Google Search Console, I've achieved nothing... What can I do to please you?!!!!!!!! Why won't you love me?!!!! You're not my real dad!!!!!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 18/08/2025

What an odd place to put an instruction manual…

The head of a fan with a cage. The instruction manual is inside the cage.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

My mission to get Google to recognise that I'm not a football coach continues. I've added '"disambiguatingDescription":"British satirical author of The MisreadBible series (not the Arkansas football coach)."' to my site's schema!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 14/08/2025

Google has gone from giving the other J. R. Eldridge first billing to conflating him with me.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 12/08/2025

So, technically, I'm bigger than Jesus!

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 07/08/2025

I've noticed some people selling my books on eBay at inflated prices. These sellers aren't official stockists, and you can get my books cheaper on Amazon and other retailers.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Everyone knows the platypus was cobbled together from random animal parts.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 05/08/2025

Calling them out appears to have worked.

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J. R. Eldridge @misreadbible.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

Sometimes when I'm feeling blue, I watch this clip I took out of a Kenneth Copeland video. Never fails to amuse.

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