Sign in

Miranda Childs

@mirandachilds.bsky.social
33 followers 29 following 38 posts

I just want to thank you so much for your support I couldn't have done it without you and it just means so much

PostsRepliesMedia
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Knew I wanted to make her mine when a cat knocked something off the table and I said he'd really "Jafar Panahi'd it" and she laughed
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
What's important here is your valiant effort towards a better life
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
The fact that there is still no widespread "stealth mode" for microwaves (no fucking beeping, etc., OBVIOUSLY) is a blatant rejection of everything I hold dear
916911 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
When I was younger I thought Gym Tan Laundry was a joke but I now realize it is a profound and significant life philosophy
110 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
looking for an etsy witch or similar: every time I want to make grilled cheese the once-soft room temperature butter is suddenly in the fridge, cold and hard-- need this curse removed ASAP
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Some days I LITERALLY cannot believe it is 2028. Like I ACTUALLY believe is is 2025, max. 2026.
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Still peeved about the time I couldn't remember that Portishead is called Portishead and when I searched for "sex music band 1990s" the internet failed me
623526 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
On the one hand I'm grateful I forget about this platform in an early internet type of way & on the other hey what are you all doing why can't I turn on notifications :/
020 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
Just thinking about how cringey twenty somethings new to New York are always using app-based car services instead of hailing cabs like living humans
030 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
I like how people talk about cord management like it's a grad program at NYU Stern
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
It should be illegal under grounds of psychological abuse for news outlets to do a "year in re-cap"
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
If you, an American, finish a French movie and realize it was all too familiar because you saw the Danish movie it was based on, are you in too deep? Or just the right amount?
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
The silliest way you can react to anything in 2025 is to be "alarmed"
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
if you're having the worst year of your life this is just a reminder that you're not special and everything can and will get worse-- hope this helps!
212618 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Still mad about that moron with a pilot's license who thought that if I loved take-off I'd "really love landing." Oh right the earthly plane. Fuck you/does not compare.
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
My dad just saw a poster of Anne Hathaway and said it looks like me because we're "both in the movies"
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
If I die choking on a fish bone I want everyone to know I went down doing something I enjoy and I got what was coming to me (congratulations fish)
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
You know the thing about bidets is I do think you need to see the instructions first
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
"Hanging in there?" seems fine to inquire but impossibly to reply. Are you "hangin' in," hanging in there," or "hanging in here"?
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
A bug just flew into my nose and I don't know if it flew out I DON'T KNOW IF IT FLEW OUT
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
I don't patronize bunny rabbits
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
I know a lot of people are doing a lot of important unpaid work that they are never acknowleged for so I just want to point out that today a child asked me to buy them "a blunt" and I refused, I did not do it
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Personally I am seeking a momentary reprieve from watching seeing hearing (of) or observing anyone doing saying or being anything anyway etc.
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
I love how many Dexter spinoffs there are because nothing is more of a gentle wink to our national mood than the popular obsession with likeable serial killers
020 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
Sorry I didn't respond to your email. Been swamped with currently trapped in crevasse in an untraversable Chilean mountain range an apple screensaver convinced me was the only place I'd ever feel whole & calm again. Best regards, Miranda Childs
020 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 20/09/2024
Today I learned that you can't do a cute photo shoot by the side of the freeway just because there is a sign that says Soft Shoulder
030 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 28/08/2024
Was worried my worst fears had come true!!! (worried I'd spilled salad on my dog)
040 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 16/08/2024
To be clear these are all the emotional states, in totality
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 08/02/2024
Nurungji!!!
010 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 27/08/2023
Update: today i made the oatmeal and then ate it before i left the house
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 07/08/2023
definitely read this out of order and thought we were talking about how everyone on the subway is either on social media or smoking a cigarette in the car
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 05/08/2023
There is chocolate ice cream somewhere in my hair but it could be anywhere oh well
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 06/06/2023
Knew an affable African Grey named Panchito years ago. Used to steal my french fries and eat all the buttons off the soda gun but I'd still never've given 'im the snip.
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 02/06/2023
I first skimmed this as "why are you giving me these wings" and imagined there was an epic buffalo wing eating contest scene in the new must see movie
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
I just hurt my elbow scooping ice cream but I think if someone could send me $1,000,000 or whatever it would really help
030 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
why do they make these lovesick smooth brains drinketh from a goblet of metal? Isn't it enough punishment to be on "unscripted" television?
000 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 28/05/2023
I dreamt I had a baby cow as a pet. I had to carry her everywhere and she was so heavy.
1111 0
Miranda Childs @mirandachilds.bsky.social · 27/05/2023
@bakoon.bsky.social what should i have for dinner?
140 0