Sign in

Minamiyo

@minascage.bsky.social
4 followers 2 following 47 posts

Endlessly depressed and lonely. Only follow if you want to make your timeline worse.

PostsRepliesMedia
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
my heart has been racing all day anticipating my mental health assessment tomorrow. chest achy. i dont know what to expect, dont know how i can hope for anything. im just terrified.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
don't know why i feel the urge to post/blog/diary my misery. i sit there and stew and keep feeling like i want to post -something-, to condense my struggle into something small and meaningful and relatable. but it's never meaningful, it's all so meaningless and temporary
100
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
im just not strong enough to give myself basic comforts
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
feeling trapped
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
still in an emotional low. feel so incredibly helpless
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
i am so mentally unwell. i shouldnt be able to go from fine to suicidal in a few hours for no discernable reason besides not comfortable. like, fuck man. just feel fucking crazy… and im such a boring bastard, i have nothing to entertain anyone with just keep withering and feeling sorry for myself
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
there is no solution. if i stay i’ll be miserable, if i leave I’ll feel endlessly guilty
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
mom: “i understand your place is back up there, not down here” also mom: “im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here im so glad youre here”
110
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
I feel like a sociopath that I feel more emotional over a tire pressure warning light in my car over my grandmother dying yesterday
110
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
without feeling like I had much of a choice, I’m staying with my parents longer to help with some vague projects for my rich uncle. I guess in hopes of getting paid and finding some stability. But no real clue what it means for what I want.
110
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
I need therapy, I need meds. But I’m not going to get those because it’s too much work, too daunting, too unknown.
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
Think I probably haven’t ended myself for my Mom’s sake. I think everyone who knows me would understand why I’d do it, but she wouldn’t.
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
Spending time with my parents again and I am just absolutely dreading the future. Taking care of them, alone down here, it’s going to be miserable. But inevitable.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
I don’t want to exist. The world is beautiful and creative and the only meaning is what you create. But my part in it feels so tiring, so burdensome, so fragile. So I’d rather say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. It’s why I mostly just respond to people and not reach out myself. Why I’m quiet.
110
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
My mind has repeatedly told me I’m going to be alone and miserable at the end of my life. Yeah that’s a healthy thing to think…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
But if I stay the way I am. I’m going to die alone and miserable…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
I guess going to live with my parents for a month or two isnt so bad, but I’m so… reluctant. I just wanna run away from everything. I don’t want to…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
I’m such a buzzkill… I just want to be comfy in my room, nothing else… I don’t want to work, I don’t want to spend money and do things. I just wanna retreat…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
I don’t want to do anything…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
hate the holidays… I’m so jaded and bitter…
110
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
tired, emotionally drained, entirely aimless
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
might stay with my parents for few months to do some kind of scanning ocr indexing work on great uncles journals. Sounds like something I can do, but… highly mixed feelings about loving with parents even, even temporarily. Makes me feel like I’m just regressing again. Even if it’s a good opportunity
100
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
Really wish I didn’t hate myself, but god damn I do. And it just makes everything so much harder.
010
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
I’ve just convinced myself I’ll never have a committed relationship, I’ll never have a family or raise a child, despite… wanting those things more than anything else. I want to care and be cared for…
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
My brother was talking about his work and love life and all I could think about was wishing I was dead
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
i need to get my shit together so badly... but i also don't want to. i want to crash and burn. i want to suffer for my self negligence. i deserve my life being shit for the way i don't do anything about it.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
About a year ago, I started “self medicating” with weed to try to actually enjoy myself once in a while. It certainly lead to lots of creativity and fun, but I’m also easily overwhelmed and become very… ADHD, for lack of a better term. So I’ve kinda… cooled on it a decent amount.
100
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 06/11/2024
i'm just fucking delusional and in abject denial
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 06/11/2024
i assume i should blame myself for everything I haven't done that I should have, but it just destroys me mentally but pretending the blame belongs elsewhere feels like passing the buck, deflecting, idk and the third thing, that it doesn't matter, makes me feel defeated that I've wasted my life
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 05/11/2024
i don't like myself, and that makes it very hard to do... lots of things
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 04/11/2024
i'll need to get a job again in the next few months... terrified.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 02/11/2024
i know its selfish of me to want a relationship to "fix" me, but... i want it
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 31/10/2024
being a quiet, boring person who hates themselves really makes existing difficult.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 31/10/2024
i will continue to do nothing until the very last moment, just hoping someone does the thing for me that doesn't make my life spiral further out of control.
100
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 24/10/2024
dreamed i was dating a no nonsense but sweet Vietnamese girl, including dealing with her mother. it was nice, but just a fantasy.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 23/10/2024
anyway, incredibly lonely, but not interested in spending much time with people.
000
Minamiyo @minascage.bsky.social · 23/10/2024
last warning, this account only exists for me to scream my insecurities
050