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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@milk-rat.bsky.social
401 followers 80 following 1.2K posts

very normal proud subaru owner she/her/little guy

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 2h
i didn't have a single regret to have a vet come to the house and euthanize mason before he got really bad It was genuinely the kindest thing I think I've ever done and I was pretty much "over" his death in a couple months bc it was a great way to go after so many years
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 6h
I don't have a fever anymore but man all my skin hurts like I do ENOUGH, YOU AREN'T EVEN REALLY SICK
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 8h
slept like absolute dog shit and duendes beat me with sticks while i was unconscious
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 23h
i have only been sick once the last 6 years so anything that's not the usual back pain no matter how mild feels so crazy to me lol I think I'm just so sleepy
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 23h
ougghhhh
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
it's like when you do a one trip from the car grocery haul and it is just on the cusp of stupid but i hate having to go places so I'm going Pack Mule Mode
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
getting 3 vaccinations today going to feel like I got hit by a truck tomorrow
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
come on
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
I was just thinking about The Horse hahah
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
hate to hand it to a chiropractor but they are sometimes the only psychos who can brute force your hip/pelvis back where it belongs
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I don't have much of an accent but I did just say "I can spot em from a MAL away"
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
"ummmmm...yeeeeaah..." *overly verbose way to say nothing*
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
listening to the first book of a hugely popular series and it's so extremely Gen X that I almost can't stand it
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
wifi won't work so I'm just going to sleep instead of getting pissed off
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
my hip joints operate how an action figure that's about to fall apart does
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
it's kind of unbelievable how much relief wearing a resistance band above my knees brings to laying down to sleep
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
@electriceleni.bsky.social I hope you've had a wonderful birthday!!! MUAH 🎂‼️
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
as far as i know im the only one in my family that will be taking medication for it but im the only one who has both health insurance and access to convenient healthcare and preventative healthcare lol
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
it's bullshit that genetics is like 75% of what determines if you have high cholesterol
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
waking up with a tension headache ouuuuuhhh i love it
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
also!! I got this from a lady at the Ozark folk center state park and it's annoying as hell to carry around but I'll be goddamned if it don't work, maybe you can find something with the same ingredients!
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Hate to say it but I am not even familiar with the name and I also went to a rural HS with a total of 400 students lol
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Happy birthday I love you!!!!! I hope you have a very nice day!! MUAH
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
these two are the only things that bring me a little relief doing my mosquito job and I believe the active ingredient is benzocaine and the Benadryl has diphenhydramine but in my experience the benzocaine works the best
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
That is one I'm so neutral about it's a normal thing to do but when people have like 80 little tabs crammed in a book that feels less like you enjoy reading and more like you enjoy putting little sticky tabs on paper
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
don't know why it irritates the hell out of me when I see people annotating books like crazy it makes sense if it's academia but what the fuck are you going back for in some fantasy book
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I can't stop thinking about that swan. why did it try to perch. it has webbed feet
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
i have to assume it was a juvenile bc I do not believe a grown ass trumpeter swan would do that bullshit
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
just watched a swan fly then try to land on a power line and completely eat shit and fall on the road behind me
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
stopped to let a pheasant leading 3 juvenile turkeys cross the road what was that all about
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
the humiliation ritual of squeezing my raw biscuit dough into compression shorts
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
and sometimes it's out of absolutely NOWHERE characters you've known for 6 books just being pointlessly slaughtered, which of course is the point of the entire series but jesus christ
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
getting halfway through any Malazan book and wondering who else is even left to be slaughtered horribly
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I wasn't born, I was surgically removed
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Reposted by FunnyJoke ComedyMan
o faquir da dor @tropigotico.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
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Reposted by FunnyJoke ComedyMan
Disco Elysium Quotes @discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
CUNO - “Fuck does Cuno care?” The boy turns to you. (He doesn't care.)
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Reposted by FunnyJoke ComedyMan
WinRAR Earle @tommchenry.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
god grant me the dexterity to dodge the attacks I cannot guard; the timing to perfect parry the attacks I can; and the wisdom to know the difference
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
you recommend sarah j maas to me and you don't even know what Malazan Book of the Fallen is? I said "I don't want romance in my books I prefer philosophical fantasy" just to be annoying hahah but it's also true ☝️
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
old guy working at Barnes and Noble kept trying to help me find something to read (didn't ask and wouldn't need someone's help anyway) and I'm not shitting you every book and series he pointed out I already read so he finally gave up LOL i warned him I read pretty much nonstop
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Mason had the same seasonal allergies as me so it's less fun in the winter when there's nobody to sneeze and be intentionally sneezed on by
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It should look exactly like this every day of the year and there should only be sun showers OR violent but short thunderstorms
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
it's been completely eclipsed by forgetting then being reminded that every year i suffer from fall/winter indoor allergies and going "Ouughh why are my eyes so watery and still dry ouhhhhggg"
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I kind of want a cat again but I am spoiled from having a luxury breed and I would rather have no cat than have one that has 2 coats and sheds everywhere I won't live like that
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
my upstairs neighbor has been vacuuming the hardwood floor above me for half an hour , don't know what else that sound could be
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I could rail normal pollen in the summer and be fine but once October hits I have allergies until April
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I also hit like number 5 or 6 of physical therapists who are silent for a moment and say "that was a perfect squat." but this time i used the secret correct muscles that everyone else instinctively uses and I only just learned about so it was exciting
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
had my last pt appointment until i pick it back up in the spring and I asked if I could hug her and she got so excited and it was a genuinely pleasant hug, people in MN do not hug enough!! I'm not even a hugger but being southern i guess I am up here
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
my mom makes unbelievable cheesecake like she would make and sell them around the holidays and to be expecting something even half that good and getting egg??? horrible
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
horrible texture, dry, taste like egg, zero cream cheese what the hell
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FunnyJoke ComedyMan @milk-rat.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
the country of japan should not legally be allowed to call Whatever That Shit Is cheesecake
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