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Michael Stahlke

@michaelstahlke.bsky.social
4.6K followers 825 following 12K posts

The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know...Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. This is enough

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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 1h
The train fight scene in Drunken Master 2. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAY2...
youtube.com
The Legend of Drunken Master (1/12) Movie CLIP - The Train Thief (1994) HD
YouTube video by Movieclips
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 7h
49.04% of a sample size of 615 likely voters is 301.596 likely voters. And I’m not sure how that works.
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Nick Land Acknowledgement 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @lonestartallboi.bsky.social · 22h
It's funny that Curtis Sliwa went from being a fringe lunatic to the most respectable and sane Republican in the country by staying as crazy as he was 15 years ago
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I’m sure this is true, but I don’t think it makes using that social network any better.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This post has popped up in my timeline repeatedly and every time I just nod and say “ah yes, three thousand black Justices of Allah”
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Those are good books, Walter
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I will forever be envious of the guy who hung a mouse on this piece of shit.
Elon Musk with a black eye
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What’s your favorite GIF?
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I think Clark Kent is a Truman-Eisenhower guy. I don’t think Bruce Wayne votes, but I’m pretty sure that Batman would spend one evening a month suspending ICE guy upside down on lamp poles.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
FM 1-Fuck
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
He’s a bit of a mumble mouth in every excerpt of this speech. Tripping over words, correcting himself. Not a great performance for a man who got the job primarily based on his ability to perform for the camera.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Just don’t send me to airborne, air assault or ranger school. And don’t give me command higher than platoon level.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Youth and beauty are not a gift from the gods for righteousness. Age, deformity, disability, these are not curses meted out for your sins.
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Jess Piper @piperformissouri.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
😂😂😂
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The FBI guys promised me a deal so I made up a lot of stuff about Jack Smith, just to please them. But it was all lies. Everything! They kept saying, “Jack Smith did this” and “Jack Smith did that”. So I said, “Yeah, sure. Why not?
Frankie Five Angels at a senate hearing
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hawks. Atlanta Hawks, Atlanta Falcons. Both birds of prey, with eyes. The Hawkeyes, play basketball *and* football, named for a bird of prey with *eyes*. Hawkeye, an archer that shoots arrows, which fly. The Arrow is a family of air defense missiles used by the IDF. The implications are clear.
static.klipy.com
Shawshank Redemption Conspiracy Meme
ALT: Shawshank Redemption Conspiracy Meme
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
[Rooster Cogburn voice] Clint Eastwood is a fine song. The rest of it is not so good.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Your TL has been visited by Goose the cat. Like or comment “you silly goose” for autumnal shenanigans and tomfoolery
A wandering neighborhood cat named goose explores the Stahlke Haus porch. In the background is a porch goose dressed up like a scarecrow
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Remember earlier this summer when we had a signed memorandum of understanding between the US and Iranian governments? Because the president doesn’t.
The United States of America undertakes to make fully available for use the frozen or restricted funds and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran upon the implementation of this MoU. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran will mutually agree on the procedures related to the release of these funds during the negotiations.
Such funds, either retained in the original account or transferred, shall be made fully usable for payment to any ultimate beneficiary designated by the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States of America undertakes to issue all necessary licenses and authorizations accordingly.The United States of America undertakes to terminate all types of sanctions against the Islamic Republic of Iran, including the United Nations Security Council resolutions, i.e. IAEA
[International Atomic Energy Agency] Board of Governors resolutions and all unilateral U.S. sanctions, primary and secondary, in an agreed-upon schedule as part of the final deal. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States of America acknowledge the critical importance of the sanctions-termination issue above mentioned, and expressed their intentions to immediately address these issues in the negotiations, in order to achieve mutual agreement on them.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Boy was that some harrowing reading
The following morning, Biden spoke with the pilots and air commanders responsible for the defense, including Murphy and Welton's squadron. He expressed gratitude as commander in chief for what they had just done. "It's what we train for, sir," said one of the pilots.
"I don't think you ever trained for last night," Biden said. "There's never been anything like it. The only reason we're not in a major war right now is because of what you did. I mean it, guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You saved the world; I mean it. God bless you"
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ok, so it’s clearly not the end of humanity, and I think more people should recognize hyperbole. But, I do think you should approach worship with a certain baseline level of respect. Approaching The Holy is serious stuff! In my opinion!
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
There’s a large number of people on this website in a constant state of frothing rage over inconsequential shit. Iced coffee, pop-country, people moving to NYC. Things of that nature. Seems like a miserable way to live
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
we really need to start calling out these conservative christians for just straight up not believing in christianity. if you don’t believe christian teaching, nobody is forcing you to call yourself a christian! free yourself!
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Charles (age 11) has decided that the only undergraduate institution for him is UW. So he got in all his huskies gear to watch UW vs MN last night. Which kicked off after 8pm west coast time.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I have also not heard that pop country song. I also did not hear “Baby one more time” until August of ‘03 when a fellow specialist played an acoustic version of it on the guitar during a barracks party. “What’s that?” I asked before being pilloried
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Daniel Suitor @danielsuitor.com · 06/07/2025
I did an extremely niche only-for-me post last year, about social media replacing Sunday morning newsmagazines, and it came to mind as my son decided today was the day he's going to learn to play the drums before 9:00 AM
A tweet reading "parents with one eye on this site [Twitter] on Sunday mornings as they desperately try to entertain their toddlers until the zoo opens at 10am"

followed by a screenshot of Brad Pitt from MONEYBALL with the caption "Now, what we might be able to do is re-create Sunday TV newsmagazines. Re-create CBS Sunday Morning in the aggregate."
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Congrats to the UCLA Bruins for surpassing their 2025 win total in the first four games of the season
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 26/09/2026
Okay beyond the "that's how insurance works" thing here, how exactly is the fraud supposedly happening if they're not using benefits
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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 26/09/2026
Whatever you do, don't smoke an entire brisket at a job interview, it's a lot of equipment to bring in, it takes a really long time to do it right and those conference rooms have notoriously poor ventilation
Someone smoking a brisket and poking it with a meat thermometer to see what the internal temperature is
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ryan cooper @ryanlcooper.com · 26/09/2026
great piece. man social media is a cancer themomoftheyear.substack.com/p/im-the-mom...
themomoftheyear.substack.com
I’m the Mom in That Viral Giants Clip. Let Me Tell You About My Husband.
You saw me carrying our baby and food. There was more happening in our family that night.
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 14/11/2024
The Bridge of the Enterprise, bridge crew bracing, smoke and sparks everywhere.

Worf: Sir. We are receiving reports of gender reveal parties on decks 4, 7, 10, and 16.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’m not smart on Cuba’s military capabilities. But I know it’s pretty close to CONUS and the island sits athwart some pretty important shipping lanes.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Coffee discourse? Let’s remember some fun old tweets instead
R2D2 shows up ten minutes late with the iced latte that is the reason he's late and he doesn't even try and hide it only drinks gas station coffee with hazelnut creamer and she does not understand why everyone is all up in arms about it
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Violet Wilson @ViWiWrites • 9h
Poe Dameron uses a Chemex.
He has broken four of them this year alone but refuses to switch methods because he likes coffee preparation methods that wear a little scarfHan Solo makes cold brew concentrate in a 5 gallon jug and he does NOT dilute it
TODDY
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Violet Wilson @ViWiWrites • 9h
Leia Organa is fueled entirely by a passion for global democracy and needs no additional stimulants
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Nobody has addressed the real issue here. If you go to panda you have to get the orange chicken.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I am reading The Hobbit to my youngest and we just got to the chapter “Flies and Spiders”. Now the boy is singing “attercop” and “Tomnoddy” while hitting things with his foam sword.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I sure as shit had that requirement. It’s important for a number of reasons.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’ve got one tenacious individual in my mentions who will never get it.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Right before I left twitter for good, I got into some real humdingers because I thought it was irresponsible to detonate thousands of explosive devices when you had zero idea where they were located.
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Aaron Reichlin-Melnick @reichlinmelnick.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Incredible. First Secretary Mullin claimed that DHS had identified 15,903 noncitizens on Nevada’s voter roll. Then DHS officials told a skeptical Nevada, no no no, that’s just people we flagged. Here are the names of 185 people we KNOW aren’t citizens. All 185 were citizens. DHS got 100% wrong.
When the Department of Homeland Security sent Nevada a list of 185 names last month that it claimed identified noncitizens who had been improperly allowed to register to vote, state election officials got to work.
On Tuesday, the state sent a strongly worded rebuke to the federal government: Every single person on the list was a lawful citizen.
"As for the 185 individuals, our records indicate that they were citizens," Greg D. Ott, a deputy attorney general in Nevada, wrote, according to a copy of a letter sent to Department of Homeland Security officials obtained through open records requests.
"You have provided nothing of substance to suggest otherwise."Following the meeting, Ms. Vogt sent a clarifying email to Nevada officials. "I also wanted to be sure I clarified that we did not reduce the 15,903 to 185," she wrote. "We've manually reviewed some of the 15,903 and confirmed 185 are not U.S. Citizens."
Now, Nevada officials are saying even that 185 number is wrong. They also took issue with a letter D.H.S. sent them in early September, in which the agency reiterated its initial claims about nearly 16,000 noncitizens on the rolls and pressured state officials to review each case in a letter to Nevada officials in early September.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
[Corridor of Time plays while I’m cleaning the kitchen] Henry (age 8): Oh wow dad, this slaps Me: Bet your ass, kid
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Petulant Skeptic @petulantskeptic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
This is on the wall of my living room.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I don’t think that unarmed citizens should be murdered on our streets by masked anonymous agents of the state. Even if their mother was a stalwart republican who voted for Trump.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
No thank you.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I have often thought that I do not appreciate the Trees in my neighborhood enough, so here are some examples.
MS Luna Mae leading the way back home at sunset Various oak and pine trees in the early morning Towering oaks
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
A real wild card in the upcoming election is a hurricane or other severe weather event hitting Texas, Florida or the Carolinas, and the USG fucking up relief efforts. Whether from spite, malice or incompetence.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
All gas no brake.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If I were forced to choose between watching this movie and being buried to my neck in the desert next to an anthill for two hours. I would have to think about it.
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Too late beezy
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If it was the early 90s, John Hughes would already have bought the rights to this story
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Michael Stahlke @michaelstahlke.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This is why I’m bullish on Jon Ossof.
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