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Michael Mourning

@michaelmourning.bsky.social
998 followers 563 following 5K posts

he/him | 29 | 🇦🇺 | writer | horror enjoyer | GreyAce | Gay | 🏳️‍🌈 Will be mostly NSFW My other sites: linktr.ee/michaelmourning Icon art: @XenonNero.bsky.social Banner art: @spikesthesinful.bsky.social Down to split a comm 👀👀 Open DMs (feel free to chat)

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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I uploaded my collection of September's microfics for peeps to read (or re-read). Let me know if you have a particular favourite and it might inspire me to write a full story maybe 👀👀 FA - www.furaffinity.net/view/66590067 SF - sofurry.com/s/egL0NaVm
Microfics.
Sept 2026.
M/M.
Hypno.
Musk.
TF.
etc.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Art by @srgoyis.bsky.social Saw you checking me out during my workout. No need to be shy; I'd have let you spot me. How about we talk somewhere private? // This is what you wanted right? Feel free to get hands on. Just be aware that getting me excited ends in only one way~ #nsfw #FurryArt
A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is wearing a white tank top and purple shorts.
He is using one hand to pull up the tank top, revealing his whole belly and one nipple.
His shorts hug his legs and shows off his large bulge. His other hand rests on his thigh.A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is wearing a white tank top and purple shorts.
He is using one hand to pull up the tank top, revealing his whole belly and one nipple.
His other hand has pulled down his shorts slightly, showing off his large and thick erection.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Art by @hornyclawprints.bsky.social Loupio is @loupiomaster.bsky.social Loupio had caught himself a new cub that needed...some...changes to help make him the best trucker he could be~ Full story (20 pages!): FA - www.furaffinity.net/view/66562220/ SF - sofurry.com/s/1VY9vYWn #nsfw #furryart
Two fat anthro bears.

The bear on the left has orange and red fur and is sitting on a bed and wearing only a leather harness and gloves. He is looking towards the other bear and audibly gulping. His small tail is wagging.

The bear on the right has brown fur and is wearing a leather harness, leather jockstrap, leather gloves, and a leather cap. He is also smoking while tugging at the other bear's harness. His massive dick is too large to fit inside of the jockstrap and is throbbing outside of it.

Both bears are blushing.

The brown bear is nearly twice the size as the red/orange bear.Two anthro bears having sex on a bed.

The top has brown fur and is wearing a leather hat, leather harness, and is smoking. His body is leaning against the pillow behind him.

The bottom has red and orange fur and is wearing a leather hat, leather gloves, leather harness, and is smoking. His body is leaning against the other bear behind him. His cock is cumming hands free and his belly is bulging very slightly from the other bear's cock penetrating him.

The top is saying "Attaboy... yer gonna make fer one mean TRUCKER.."

The bottom's eyes shows that he is hypnotised by the top.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Art by @reenub.bsky.social Got this for #Skunktember This is a reminder that if you find a random visor, DO pick it up and DO wear it. Need more convincing? How about you come closer and we can talk. Just squeeze my nulge! Don't worry if it sticks to your hand; you'll be fine~ #nsfw #FurryArt
A chubby male anthro bear with red and orange fur colouring. He is completely naked, with his penis and balls showing.
On his face is a rectangular visor with blue spirals on the screen.
The visor is leaking black and white latex/rubber. He has attempted to grab the visor, which has left both his hands completely coated in the latex.A chubby male anthro character whose species is hard to discern.
He is completely naked with nearly all of his body covered in black and white latex/rubber. Small uncovered sections are found on his legs, belly, and face.
His hands are spreading the rubber across his torso...A male anthro skunk whose black and white body is covered in rubber/latex.
He is completely naked, but instead of a penis, a large null-bulge with a padlock is on his crotch.
Various parts of his body are dripping with the rubber...
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Art by @qundium.bsky.social Another day, another person here to try me out before buying someone else. I can't remember the last time I came. I'm so thankful that squeezing my bulge lets me have a small release. I wrote a short story for this! www.furaffinity.net/view/52549648 #nsfw #FurryArt
A male anthro bear. His body is completely encased inside a rubber suit with red and orange colours. He is sitting on a chair, which is fused with his thighs.
His penis is erect and is sticking upwards. There is a padlock icon on his balls.
The tip of his penis is coated in precum, and small bits of cum are on his chest, the chair, and the floor.
His hands have been turned into cup-holders, which are currently holding a bottle of lube, condoms, and a vibrating wand.
There is writing on his chest that says "SIT ON ME". There is writing on his thighs which says "FREE LUBE". There is writing on the part of the chair in front of his balls which says "SQUEEZE" with arrows pointing to his balls.
The background of the room says "CHAIR DRONE TRY OUT ROOM 09".
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
And the cock-out alts~
Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his hand is stroking his visible, thick cock.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his hand is stroking his visible, thick cock.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.

The bear's crotch is soaked with precum and the tiger-skunk's cock is coated in precum.Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his hand is stroking his visible, thick cock.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.

The bear's crotch is soaked with cum, and the tiger-skunk is cumming hard on the ground.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Art by @k0suna.bsky.social After working up a good sweat and musk while sparing, Michael and Alex like to end their wrestle session by releasing a little "pent up" energy. Although they're making a mess, it's Alex's turn to do laundry, and he doesn't mind at all~ #nsfw #furryart
Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his cock is bulging at the front.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his cock is bulging at the front.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.

Both men are leaking precum in their wrestling outfits.Two anthro furry men. A orange and red bear is standing up, and a tiger-skunk hybrid is on his knees.

The bear has a muscular/fat build. He is wearing a tight blue wrestling singlet that shows his bulging cock outline.

The tiger-skunk has a more slim muscular build. He is wearing a tight red wrestling single that hugs his ass, and his cock is bulging at the front.

The tiger-skunk is facing away from the viewer and has his head shoved into the bear's crotch, the cock and balls resting on his face and obscuring it.

Both men have cum hard in their wrestling outfits, with the tiger-skunk still in mid-orgasm.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
My biggest food regret 2026: vending machine pizza at a shopping centre. 90% bread, super overpriced, little enjoyment, and i'm still hungry >:V
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Art by @samnson.bsky.social I pride myself in being able to conduct a *full* review of every aspect of an employee. Some say I'm a bit too thorough, but I think it's a manager job to really get in deep to expose any holes an employee may be lacking in coverage. #nsfw #furryart
An anthro bear and tiger/skunk in an office.

The bear is red and orange and has a bushy moustache. The bear is wearing black work pants and shoes, and a white button up shirt with a striped blue tie. His shirt is open to reveal his chest. His fly is open where his hard cock sticks out. His dick is leaking cum.

The tiger/skunk is completely naked. The tiger/skunk's hard cock points upwards, and his ass is covered in cum.

The bear is standing before the tiger/skunk, who is laying down on a desk.

The bear is saying "Ah, you're a tad early. Come on in and take a seat. Nice of you to join us for this evaluation."

An additional figure's striped tiger hands are at the very bottom on the image. They are holding a form that says "Mandatory employee evaluation"
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I made a shitpost about microwaving Loot last year. I still enjoy it
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Art by @jumperbear.bsky.social Oh, hi! I didn't know you were coming over today. I was just trying to take a new pic of myself. You want me to get dressed? ** Oh god, I love it when you come over. Give me ten minutes and we can go for round two. You can clean me up in the meantime. #nsfw #FurryArt
A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is completely naked and is laying on his backside. His torso is lifted upwards and his hands are gripping his thighs to raise his legs. His erect penis is prominent in the image and his anus is visible too. He is also blushing.A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is completely naked and is laying on his backside. His torso is lifted upwards and his hands are gripping his thighs to raise his legs. His erect penis is prominent in the image and his anus is visible too. His body is completely covered in cum and his anus is opened and leaking cum. He is also blushing.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Art by @kento267.bsky.social Been seeing you poke your nose around here the last few days, talking to the staff. Your friend is missing for a month? That's a shame. How 'bout we head into the back room where we aren't as exposed. I guarantee you'll love every word I have to say. #nsfw #FurryArt
A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is a large moustache and beard.
The only clothes he's wearing is a blue cap which covers his eyes, and a blue jockstrap which holds in his large penis.
One hand hold a lit cigar, and is patting his bare thigh.
The other hand is holding an image of a younger version of the bear, but with a smaller moustache and no beard.
He is saying: "You say this boy last came to our club and after that you can't find him? I think I saw him recently, sit down and discuss it."A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is a large moustache and beard. His eyes are consumed by a glowing spiral.
He is completely naked, and his large penis is standing erect against his belly. His penis is large enough to reach the bottom of his pecs.
One hand hold a lit cigar, and is patting his bare thigh.
The other hand is holding an image of a younger version of the bear, but with a smaller moustache and no beard.
He is saying: "You say this boy last came to our club and after that you can't find him? I think I saw him recently, sit down and discuss it."
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Art by @lukoi.bsky.social I should have known that the cheap house was too good to be true. Within a month, I was so hungry I was eating five meals each day. Within 3 months, I was content to just lay in bed with my hand down my undies, eating any food that appeared before me. #nsfw #FurryArt
A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is sitting down on the floor in the corner of a room, wearing only socks and underwear. Around his mouth and on his chest is cake icing. His body is fat, with stretch marks on his belly and armpit.

He is being hypnotised by something unseen. A ghost hand is swinging a pendulum in front of his eyes, which contain glowing spirals. Two ghost hands are bringing him slices of cake. A final ghost hand is rubbing its finger across his belly.

Dialogue reads:
"Just keep staring... You're much too small... You need more cake... You won't notice how fat you're getting... You just want to eat more... Look how much you've grown already, you've got your first stretch marks! Your stomach feels tight. Just how you like it... When we are done, you won't remember any of this... You will just be hungry... Eating makes you happy... Good boy..."A male anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is sitting upright on the middle of a bed. He is naked, except for his underwear. He has one hand shoved inside of the underwear. He is fat with stretch marks across his belly. His tongue is lolling out and his eyes contain glowing spirals.

Something unseen is talking to him.

Dialogue reads:
"You don't have to leave bed today... Just shove your hand down your pants, and relaaaaaaaax... You're just a big dumb bear, aren't you? A big dumb bear that just wants to eat... No more thoughts... Just eating... and rubbing... Let me get you a snack... Good boy..."
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I uploaded my collection of August's microfics for peeps to read (or re-read). Let me know if you have a particular favourite and it might inspire me to write a full story maybe 👀👀 FA - www.furaffinity.net/view/66261300 SF - sofurry.com/s/1EMAbM51
Text written over a gold and blue spiral. The text reads:
Microfics
Aug 2026
M/M
Hypno
Musk
TF
etc.
0112
Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Art by @saidthesaisio.bsky.social One day there will be bathtubs that exist for adult by default. Every one seems to be designed for children, which is good for them, but awful for people like me. As long as I alternate which limb is in the tub, I should get them all wet eventually... #furryart
A fat anthro bear with red and orange fur. He is naked in a bathtub that is too small, only covering his back and part of one leg. Nearly all of his torso, both hands, and one foot is out of the bathtub.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Art by @danyredlion.bsky.social Hey there. Welcome to the sauna. I would pretend and say that you could sit anywhere, but given where you're staring, we both know there's only one place you'll be sitting. Now let me get back to my seat, and you can sit between my legs~ #nsfw #furryart
Chubby anthro male bear looking at the viewer. He has orange and red fur, with an orange moustache and gold nose.

He is completely naked except for a very small towel around is waste.

One arm is raised to show off his armpit. His other hand pulling up the front of the towel to show off his thick cock.

Heat/musk clouds surround his body.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
This works btw
Image of a telegram chat between two people.

Person 1 shows an image of their shoe + sock covered ankle.

Person 1 says: "hey, horny foot cuck. Enjoy being sock-blocked by my shoe."

Person 2 says: "Zbxbxbjxjx wtff"

Person 1 says: "get PRANKED"

Person 2 says: "So mean"
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Art by @qundium.bsky.social I need to be careful of what tests I sign up for. "Suit of Endless Stamina" is its name. I didn't ask what definition of "stamina" they were using. God, I'm so close that I can feel the cum leaking out! Only a month left until my balls are unlocked... #nsfw #furry
Chubby anthro bear with a red head and orange moustache wearing a very tight rubber suit that leaves only his head visible.

He is jerking off his dick, which is also wrapped in the skin tight rubber. On his balls in a blue padlock icon. The tip of is penis leaks precum out of an unseen hole.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Art by @srgoyis.bsky.social Panda is SomePandaDude (FA) Always a pleasure to have your back broken and your insides rearranged by handsome panda. It's even better when it's done in a way that lets you get off hands-free. #nsfw #furryart
A muscular panda and bear having sex in a living room. They are both naked.

The panda is standing up and is penetrating the bear's ass. He also has an arm stretched towards the viewer as if he's holding a phone and taking a picture.

The bear is laying on a couch and getting fucked. He is pinching one nipple and is winking towards the viewer.A muscular panda and bear having sex in a living room. They are both naked.

The panda is standing up and is penetrating the bear's ass. He also has an arm stretched towards the viewer as if he's holding a phone and taking a picture. He is winking at the viewer. He is cumming inside the bear's ass.

The bear is laying on a couch and getting fucked. He is pinching one nipple and has both eyes shut. He is cumming and his load is landing on himself and the couch.A muscular panda and bear having sex in a living room. They are both naked.

The panda is standing up and his dick hovers over the bear. He also has an arm stretched towards the viewer as if he's holding a phone and taking a picture. He is winking at the viewer. He is cumming onto the bear's chest/face.

The bear is laying on a couch and getting fucked. He is pinching one nipple and is winking towards the viewer. His spent cock has cum trailing from his belly all the way over his face and onto the couch. Multiple loads of cum coat him.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Art by @spazzbear.bsky.social Oops! You've seem to have caught me in quite a predicament. My favourite undies has got a tear right down the middle just as I needed to pick something up right in front of you. I hope you don't mind... I swear they fit me just fine a few years ago! #nsfw #furryart
A fat anthro bear with orange and red fur that is laying down on his knees and elbows, presenting his ass to the viewer. The soles of his feet are also prominently displayed.

He is wearing blue underwear that has numerous tears, especially around the middle. His balls are visibly hanging out.A fat anthro bear with orange and red fur that is laying down on his knees and elbows, presenting his ass to the viewer. The soles of his feet are also prominently displayed.

He is completely naked, showing off his bare ass and balls.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Art/Right: @kento267.bsky.social Left: zombienuke1 (FA) If you want to get the best drinks possible, you have to prepare the raw ingredients yourself; I'll only accept the finest sources! My tastes are quite specific, so getting them ready for consumption may take some time~ #nsfw #furryart
NSFW furry art featuring three character.

Two characters are bound to a wall with milkers extracting milk from their pecs. On their faces in a hypnotic visor brainwashing them. Their cocks are hard and they have a glowing padlock symbol on their balls.

The other character stands in front of the other two. He is licking his lips and groping the balls of one of the others and is saying "Sir, your drink is almost done". He is wearing leather straps, a bowtie, and a cockring.

Silhouettes of unknown people can be watching on the bottom.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
omfg Bsky now has a search filter for "people I follow". Maybe now I can actually find out if people i follow are open for comms more reliably.
Author.
People I follow.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
If you're playing JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Golden Spirit, feel free to join my guild 👀👀👀 (Asia server)
Screenshot from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Golden Spirit.
Guild: BeawDen
Member: Beaw
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
I've just seen this version of Punisher and i cannot be convinced that he's anything other than a brainwashed Anubis drone. i mean, LOOK AT HIM
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
🌀😵‍💫🌀 🌀👔🌀 🌀👖🌀
Now that's what I call a completely brainwashed employee.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I uploaded my collection of July's microfics for peeps to read (or re-read). Let me know if you have a particular favourite and it might inspire me to write a full story maybe 👀👀 FA - www.furaffinity.net/view/65912095/ SF - sofurry.com/s/noXE37x1
Microfics
July 2026
M/M
Hypno
Musk
TF
etc.
2153
Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
The meetings and dances: (You can see them in the background!!!!)
030
Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Three little bears can take Nicol Bolas by surprise and kill him. Beaw is most POWERFUL.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Entering my book era.
Photo of a hand holding a book.

The Bewdley Mayhem by Tony Burgess.
The Hellmouths of Bewdley.
Pontypool Changes Everything.
Caesarea.

"Ulrra-Violent horror and absurdist humour. Inflicting nightmarish nareatives on thr quirky citizens of small-town Ontario. Think H.P. Lovecraft meets Stephen Leacock."
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Dont want to be an ally cat!? BeawCorp is proudly queer so we dont think you'll be a good fit. Haha, i kid. Beaw joke. I assume you meant alley 🤔🤔🤔 In any case, artists are very welcomes within our marketing teams. It may be a little different than you're used to, but we can upskill you.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

I'm just a cat with an Art degree and a rent that's do. need a freelance designer? I really don't want to end up an ally cat.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
All bears are welcome in BeawCorp! An onsite medical professional would be a huge boon. We have a number of...services...that require some type of surgery and people are usually scared to have it done. At the moment, it's common to drug and restrain these people to get them to comply.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Hi there. Was wondering if you company hjas need of big Bear with a medical background? I have fantastic first aid skills and a wonderful bedside manner, able to calm the most unruly of patients with my voice alone.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Oh, thank you! The engineering team have been pestering me to find someone to help test our latest punishment product. *straps you in the peenar explosion chamber and turns it on, walking away as you exclaim "just a prank, bro"*
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Plaps my massive cock on your desk. How about that for a CV?
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
While BeawCorp is very powerful, we don't have the resources just yet to accommodate other-dimensional beings. We also have a fairly strict "no work from home" policy, so we need all staff present in the office at all times. I hope you're able to fix your "exiled" situation though.
ask me anything, anonymously.

Do you happen to have any positions open that a... dimensionally exiled shapeshifting magic user with a big magical pot might be able to fill?
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Sorry, but this is recruitment and not R&D. But let me see that. That seems very interesting. But what if I...oop... I seemed to have turned it on and only you can see it. What's that? You want to go home and see your son? Well, I won't stop you. I'll take this device to our techs to looks at.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Hello, I have an idea I want to pitch: this is a lighting system that makes men gay and incestuous, I tested it at my son's college football games, it is very good, would you like a partnership?
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Normally I dont deal with being who sound like trickster fae (too many employees TFd into moss-covered mushrooms). But as long as you dont ask anyone for their names, i think we should be okay. Given your stated qualifications of napping, I think it'll be difficult to assign you to long projects.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

I can perform miracles, curses, party tricks, tax evasion, and interpretive dance! I also possess a Master's in Strategic Napping, a Doctorate in Weaponised Tomfoolery, and several other reality bending qualifications! Basically i can do whatever you need and look fabulous doing it! ✨️🐱
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Dont worry about that sort of thing with us!! We integrate state of the art technology in our workplace, one of which is some fancy looking AR goggles From them, your vision can be augmented with helpful reminders and affirmations to help you keep focus on the task at hand.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

I really could use this position here but I take long to understand instructions...i hear everything but it just slips out of my mind afterwards. I end up needing someone tk tell me over and over again but it clocks eventually.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
We do! Unfortunately, some of our mandated training videos dont fully sink in to some of out staff and they require additional, extended, work in order to have the lessons sink in. Having some sort of counsellor would be a huge boon for us.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Job markets rough. Have a counselling degree, does Beaw Corp have need for managing HR or similar services.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
ATTN All Staff: There's been some good news and some bad news with the beaw cloning project. Good news: it mostly works. Bad news: the clone has developed its own ego and thinks of itself as a new person that just happens to have all my traits. If you see him, please be gentle as he is confused.
Ask me anything, anonymously. 

Due to my unique blend of ADHD, Autism, and Acesexuality, that thing where I can't imagine things like norma people I'm immune to Hypnosis so I'll be the only person you can trust to do any task that's actually important (every company needs at least one.)
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Ackshually, it's BeawCorp, tysvm. Idk what a BearCorp is???? It's actually good that you're proficient in bear brain organisation. My noggin has too many ideas and scenarios that it's hard to keep track of, so it'll be good to have someone I can offload them into.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Big fan of helping organize the clutter in a bear's brain. Seems like that might be a concern for bearcorp.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Our legal team advises me to say "no comment". I'd adivse you to please leave the building before I call security. If Security have to escort you out, I know they can be very persuasive in making sure you dont return.
Ask me anything, anonymously.

Hello, i came to investigate this workspace because i have heard a couple problematic statments. Some of your workers say they have no benefits or leave hours. Some even say that they dont get paid at all! There is also an odd smell and strange lights emanating from this building. Care to explain?
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I think you have the wrong department? This is recruitment, not customer support/sales. Feel free to pick up a brochure on your way out to learn more though.
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What kind of products do you guys sell/ make? I would love to be in your testing department.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Sorry to hear you boyfr-- flatmate has "changed" since he started working with us. But have you considered that he might not have changed at all and he's just become his authentic true self? Here at Beawcorp, we strive for authenticity and inclusively. Here, let me show you our video on it.
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Hello there! I am a concerned customer. Recently, my flatmate got send a recruitment letter, and it had an odd smell about it. A couple of days later he has completely changed in the strangest ways. He is also making advances at me. But i know he is straight. Can you help?
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I don't know what you mean? How can we brainwash someone who is 🌀the mascot of our company🌀. It's 🌀your purpose🌀 to stand outside the building while wearing the company mascot costume and waving your sign. You're not brainwashed; 🌀this is who you are🌀.
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Uh ive heard you pretty heavily brainwash employees... id like tk be melted down :3
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Oh goodie, we've been needing a new janitor. Put on these coveralls and take this plunger. Good luck 🫡
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Yeah I totally know what Beawcorp does and I can totally do anything that is required of me.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Don't worry about your species, little skunk. I try to promote a species-positive work environment. That being said, there might be some staff who are externally positive but internally negative. How about you show me how well you can program some non-standard systems?
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I'm pretty good at organsing, and am fluent in most coding languages. I've also been taking some engineering classes. Unfortunately, I am a skunk, so most people tend to not want to be around me. So I understand if you reject me because of that.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
This isn't really a CV? All you gave me was a piece of paper that asked for the phone numbers of various men you've taken photos of. You also included the...plethora...of photos you've taken of my employees. Given this breach of my personnel's privacy, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.
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I wanna be a good son for a nice hot daddy...
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
There aren't too many jobs that can be done solo as we are an interconnected company, but I can see one position that's usually left alone. Security Guard (CCTV operator). All alone in your room. One door. No windows. Just the dozens of monitors displaying the various cameras to keep you company.
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Ah, well, im a bit shy around other people 👉👈 But Im a hard worker by myself! A cozy space and i'll get anything done by the end of my shift!~
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Huh, I did think it was strange that you didnt scrunch your nose as you walked in. I was running late at the gym and didnt get a chance to shower first. Unprofessional, i know. But you're the first one to not be phased. You say that you're a team player who helps others, so lets make that your job
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Im a great team player! Always happy to help others, but i always make sure my work is done first. Also I've weirdly been told my nose has a high tolerance for smells.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Im not too sure how you ended up in this interview? There's a stripy strip joint just down the street, so I think you may have gotten lost? In any case, I'll treat this application like any other one. This particular skill set isn't too useful as a proper employee, but useful for an improper one.
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I'm a tiger, and a fiend when it comes to paws.
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Michael Mourning @michaelmourning.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
We're always looking for people to handle the usual repetitive tasks. Those mindless, simple tasks. Those tasks where your mind stops processing as your body just acts by itself as muscle memory takes over. A quick learner for a task that's quick to teach.
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Im very good at handling repressive tasks, im a quick learner, and i respond well to positive feedback!
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