Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026My family moved to Chicago in 1984, just as the Bears were becoming something special. Mike Ditka, with his coiffed hair, cop's mustache, aviators and gruff demeanor was part of how 80s Chicago saw itself. Ditka was the perfect coach for the '85 Bears. He also fucked that franchise up for decades. 150
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Too bad abt @eppynems, he'll be missed (in SO many ways right Brian???) but on the other head, Bangor w @maharishimaheshyogi was FANTASTIC. Enlightenment is everybotty's birthright. TM is a simple way to explore oneself (w/out drugs!!! tossin my stash) using the ancient Vedic wisdom of... (1/137) 120
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026On what would've been John Lennon's 86th birthday, let us pause and reflect on what an S-tier poster he would've been 131
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 08/10/2026NOBODY sweated like Roy Scheider 000
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Went someplace overnight for a wedding. This is what we came home to: 210
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Once you see it, you can't unsee it 2177
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Clear evidence of paternity here 010
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring 040
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Never thought it could happen to me, but I've fallen in love with a soda. 130
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Life of Brian will be remembered as one of the great comic achievements of the 20th Century. Its silliness masks an incisive, learned parody of the very things that caused our society to fall: sectarianism, cults, and Christianity. As great as Strangelove, greater than The Great Dictator. 040
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Good reasons to question this survey, but... An entirely predictable outcome of our society moving from pensions to self-directed investing. 000
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 11/08/2026You know if JFK was ever smuggled someplace in a catering truck, there would've been TONS of ladies in there with him 061
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/08/2026secret message in the skies over Kennet Square, PA! 150
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/06/2026And if Matt Taibbi were “a man” he would make it VERY CLEAR (with character, and physical strength if nec) that shit was not acceptable around him. Real trad masc radiates dignity & protection. The only men I’ve met obsessed with teasing/testing like this have been addicts not in sobriety. 040
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 10/06/2026I’d totally read this (by the great Cris Shapan) 030
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 01/06/2026The Obama Library, looking as good as it’s ever gonna look. Sorry, is this where Chicago stores all its road salt? It didn’t have to look like a Post Office, but we can’t cede all of traditional culture to the Fascists, then wonder why voters fall for their “we’re the REAL Americans” bullshit. 111
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 26/05/2026In the 24 hours after smoking a Cuban Montecristo No. 3 cigar, I have • written nearly two chapters of Barry Trotter 4 • started a new Substack I call the Monte #3 "The Murderer of Sleep" 121
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 28/04/2026After being hungover and oversleeping a meeting at the White House with JFK: “You can always meet a President, but you can’t always get a great piece of ass.”—Jim Garrison 1962 010
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 23/04/2026Happy Nurk Twins Day to all who celebrate 000
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Have we stopped to consider the very real possibility that "RFK Jr." is just RFK buried in a Pet Sematary? 110
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Missed the Kickstarter for Tom Chitty’s Nooks and Crannies of New York? DON‘T BE SAD — you can still reserve your copy here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/mic... 011
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 21/04/2026This is Big Max. He isn’t feeling very well today. Seems to be something serious with his kidneys. Any good thoughts you could send his way, he would appreciate it. And so would I. 240
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/04/2026"After this well-publicized dustup with the Trump Administration, the Vatican has decided to send over the big guns: Father Guido Sarducci." 130
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 01/04/2026I’m for birthright citizenship, but yes I agree it was stupid to let Donald Trump be a US citizen 051
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 31/03/2026A president who thinks the “Special Relationship” is about himself and a 13-year-old girl 021
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 25/02/2026Been waiting for this day. In 2000, Larry Summers called up @newyorker.com pissed off about a humor piece @schwarz.bsky.social and I wrote which made him out to be a callous, clueless asshole. We were blackballed at TNY, so Larry could achieve ever-greater levels of assholedom unbothered by satire. 22911
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 05/02/2026"On behalf of America's Constantly Pants-Shitting Community: Let us judge Mr. Trump on his deeds & character, not one unfortunate live-mic mishap. Countless Americans suffer from Unruly Colon. Let's not add to their awful burden by unfairly stigmatizing extra-lavatorial defecation. Thank you." 020
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/01/2026Whenever I see him i think of how Sulla was consumed by worms 182
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/12/2025For the first time in a decade, I'm not horribly depressed this Christmas. I am celebrating my good fortune this year by reminding anybody who needs it—there is help. 0206
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 27/11/2025That is not perspective, this cigar is as immense as a palm tree 140
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 10/11/2025An all-time great, but he forgot "THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER." For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind. 041
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 31/07/2025LA Deli-lovers will feel me on this: Went to Bay Cities for the first time since it re-opened, and that Godmother sandwich was like an old friend. 020
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 25/07/2025Pronouncing "Ghislaine" to rhyme with Sizzlean 030
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 18/07/2025If Trump thinks you’re funny, you’re not in the comedy business. You’re doing something else, no matter what excuses you give St Peter. 110
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/06/2025What's a poster you had on your wall growing up? 030
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 23/06/2025Just learned this is the AI-assisted brainchild of the incomparable @schwarz.bsky.social 000
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 21/06/2025Happy JAWS-iversary to all! I was 6 when JAWS premiered, and have spent the rest of my life fascinated and terrified out of my mind. That summer, on a family trip to Connecticut, I wouldn't go in past my knees. Today I live six blocks from a Great White nursery. Still...not past the knees. :-) 030
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/06/2025“In Search Of” never addressed the really important questions like, “Did the Romans use dildo harnesses?” 000
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/06/2025I find this photo chilling. Trump’s parade isn’t a show of strength to the world—the world is already well aware of our military. It is to show the American people, “I own this and will turn it on you.” Pure President Abuser stuff. 120
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/04/2025There are kids who will never be coke dealers at Harvard. Will never eat roadkill. Will never get addicted to heroin. Kids who will never show *whatever titanic bad judgment it takes* to get a worm in your brain. Or maybe they will, like RFK Jr. And they deserve rights, compassion and respect. 053
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/03/2025From @americanbystander.bsky.social's Len Stokes: 030
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/03/2025We are at the “Putin playing hockey” stage 0411
Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/03/2025Last Halloween, I didn't have time to finish this Jack Chick parody for @americanbystander.bsky.social but these two panels made me laugh 000