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Michael Gerber, bon vivant

@michaelgerber.bsky.social
3.1K followers 983 following 3.6K posts

Boss @ American Bystander. Proud papa of Barry Trotter. Cerebrally Palsied. Survivor of bonus mystery illness. Lover of print comedy & cartoons, Worsley acupuncture, qigong, trains, chicken curry. Mayor of Santa Monica (unofficial).

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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
My family moved to Chicago in 1984, just as the Bears were becoming something special. Mike Ditka, with his coiffed hair, cop's mustache, aviators and gruff demeanor was part of how 80s Chicago saw itself. Ditka was the perfect coach for the '85 Bears. He also fucked that franchise up for decades.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Too bad abt @eppynems, he'll be missed (in SO many ways right Brian???) but on the other head, Bangor w @maharishimaheshyogi was FANTASTIC. Enlightenment is everybotty's birthright. TM is a simple way to explore oneself (w/out drugs!!! tossin my stash) using the ancient Vedic wisdom of... (1/137)
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
On what would've been John Lennon's 86th birthday, let us pause and reflect on what an S-tier poster he would've been
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
NOBODY sweated like Roy Scheider
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Went someplace overnight for a wedding. This is what we came home to:
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Once you see it, you can't unsee it
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Clear evidence of paternity here
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Never thought it could happen to me, but I've fallen in love with a soda.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Life of Brian will be remembered as one of the great comic achievements of the 20th Century. Its silliness masks an incisive, learned parody of the very things that caused our society to fall: sectarianism, cults, and Christianity. As great as Strangelove, greater than The Great Dictator.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Good reasons to question this survey, but... An entirely predictable outcome of our society moving from pensions to self-directed investing.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
You know if JFK was ever smuggled someplace in a catering truck, there would've been TONS of ladies in there with him
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
secret message in the skies over Kennet Square, PA!
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
And if Matt Taibbi were “a man” he would make it VERY CLEAR (with character, and physical strength if nec) that shit was not acceptable around him. Real trad masc radiates dignity & protection. The only men I’ve met obsessed with teasing/testing like this have been addicts not in sobriety.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
I’d totally read this (by the great Cris Shapan)
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
The Obama Library, looking as good as it’s ever gonna look. Sorry, is this where Chicago stores all its road salt? It didn’t have to look like a Post Office, but we can’t cede all of traditional culture to the Fascists, then wonder why voters fall for their “we’re the REAL Americans” bullshit.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
In the 24 hours after smoking a Cuban Montecristo No. 3 cigar, I have • written nearly two chapters of Barry Trotter 4 • started a new Substack I call the Monte #3 "The Murderer of Sleep"
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
After being hungover and oversleeping a meeting at the White House with JFK: “You can always meet a President, but you can’t always get a great piece of ass.”—Jim Garrison 1962
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Happy Nurk Twins Day to all who celebrate
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Have we stopped to consider the very real possibility that "RFK Jr." is just RFK buried in a Pet Sematary?
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Missed the Kickstarter for Tom Chitty’s Nooks and Crannies of New York? DON‘T BE SAD — you can still reserve your copy here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/mic...
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
This is Big Max. He isn’t feeling very well today. Seems to be something serious with his kidneys. Any good thoughts you could send his way, he would appreciate it. And so would I.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
"After this well-publicized dustup with the Trump Administration, the Vatican has decided to send over the big guns: Father Guido Sarducci."
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
I’m for birthright citizenship, but yes I agree it was stupid to let Donald Trump be a US citizen
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
A president who thinks the “Special Relationship” is about himself and a 13-year-old girl
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
My reading glasses holder
A plaster of Paris bust of John F. Kennedy wearing my Ipcress Files-type reading glasses
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
Been waiting for this day. In 2000, Larry Summers called up @newyorker.com pissed off about a humor piece @schwarz.bsky.social and I wrote which made him out to be a callous, clueless asshole. We were blackballed at TNY, so Larry could achieve ever-greater levels of assholedom unbothered by satire.
A New Yorker humor piece from 2000 about Lawrence Summers, written by Michael Gerber and Jonathan Schwarz. It made Summers BIG mad.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
"On behalf of America's Constantly Pants-Shitting Community: Let us judge Mr. Trump on his deeds & character, not one unfortunate live-mic mishap. Countless Americans suffer from Unruly Colon. Let's not add to their awful burden by unfairly stigmatizing extra-lavatorial defecation. Thank you."
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
Freikorps, Munich, 1923
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Whenever I see him i think of how Sulla was consumed by worms
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
For the first time in a decade, I'm not horribly depressed this Christmas. I am celebrating my good fortune this year by reminding anybody who needs it—there is help.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
That is not perspective, this cigar is as immense as a palm tree
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
An all-time great, but he forgot "THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER." For this, he will have a negative mark, at least in my mind.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
LA Deli-lovers will feel me on this: Went to Bay Cities for the first time since it re-opened, and that Godmother sandwich was like an old friend.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 29/07/2025
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Pronouncing "Ghislaine" to rhyme with Sizzlean
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
If Trump thinks you’re funny, you’re not in the comedy business. You’re doing something else, no matter what excuses you give St Peter.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
I'm from before the internet
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
What's a poster you had on your wall growing up?
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
Just learned this is the AI-assisted brainchild of the incomparable @schwarz.bsky.social
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
Happy JAWS-iversary to all! I was 6 when JAWS premiered, and have spent the rest of my life fascinated and terrified out of my mind. That summer, on a family trip to Connecticut, I wouldn't go in past my knees. Today I live six blocks from a Great White nursery. Still...not past the knees. :-)
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
“In Search Of” never addressed the really important questions like, “Did the Romans use dildo harnesses?”
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
I find this photo chilling. Trump’s parade isn’t a show of strength to the world—the world is already well aware of our military. It is to show the American people, “I own this and will turn it on you.” Pure President Abuser stuff.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
There are kids who will never be coke dealers at Harvard. Will never eat roadkill. Will never get addicted to heroin. Kids who will never show *whatever titanic bad judgment it takes* to get a worm in your brain. Or maybe they will, like RFK Jr. And they deserve rights, compassion and respect.
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
I'm a whole experience
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
From @americanbystander.bsky.social's Len Stokes:
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
We are at the “Putin playing hockey” stage
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
Last Halloween, I didn't have time to finish this Jack Chick parody for @americanbystander.bsky.social but these two panels made me laugh
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Michael Gerber, bon vivant @michaelgerber.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Italian-Americans to Trump:
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