iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 20h

Doing my thing in Chatham last night! It was fun. People laughed.

Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Marvellous there's so much awareness around how awful the menopause can be, but it does mean from your early 30s you’re bombarded with messages about how any month now your body & mind will slip away and leave you a sweaty hysterical dried up old bat who can’t remember where she put her handbag.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Man tweets me to tell me he's sent me a DM. The DM says he wants to send me an email. He already has my email address: he just wants permission. There's being a polite submissive and then there's being a fucking pain in the arse.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I've been asked to review a hotel in the Seychelles, all expenses paid, in October. This is what happens when you abandon all pretense at morals kids. Think on.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Husband's pal coming round tomorrow with a mystery gift for me. "I have no idea whether you will like it or not" he says. Fascinating. So not drink or chocolate. But what?

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I've been painted by Charlie Chittenden.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Watch my interview with Julie Wassmer, writer of the Whitstable Pearl mysteries and much more. Wish I'd found a moment to change my top so I didn't clash so horribly with the walls but my damn punter was late leaving. The joys of portfolio careers. youtu.be/sFAeq0NRK00?...

youtu.be

Melissa Todd interview with Julie Wassmer

YouTube video by Radio Faversham

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Enjoying the last few days of summer at Ramsgate Harbour.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Ist October in Chatham. Tickets are FREE! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/comedy-nig...

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

While no one in Vegas had heard of Andy Burnham, everyone knew about Count Binface.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Did comedy at The Dive Bar! It's known as the place where egos come to die. Also where Doug Stanhope started. So anxious I had a little cry, then went over my time. But I did OK.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Performing in Vegas tonight at The Dive Bar!

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Vegas, I am in you. Going to a Democrat rally tonight because I know how to party.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Been such ages since I was asked to review a poetry collection. And this was an absolute banger.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Telling Greenbelt about the joy of porn.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Performing at Greenbelt this weekend. I've received a firm email that I am not to bother the big names in the green room with requests for selfies and autographs. I do hope this email has been sent to all performers, rather than representing a panicked response to my fixation with Michael Sheen.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Edinburgh completed! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me. It's meant so much. It's been a mad month, exhausting and exhilarating. Can't bloody wait to do it all again next year. #edfringe2026 #edinburgh

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Genuine interaction from the Royal Mile: "Would you like a night with a dominatrix?" "No thanks, I'm driving later." Last show tonight. #edfringe #edfringe2026

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Reposted by Melissa Todd

Lady Phoenix @ladyphoenix-ldn.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Brilliant show! Highly recommended to kinksters and vanillas alike 🤩

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

The fabulous @robingissing.bsky.social came to see my show tonight! Thank you SO MUCH for being there. Turns out the Edinburgh comedy awards attended too, so lucky I had a good one! #edinburgh #edfringe2026 #edinburghfestival

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Every day at #edfringe is potentially life-changing. You can't afford to give each moment less than everything.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Today is known as suicide Wednesday because no one turns out to any shows! I've two press booked to attend but no actual audience. Anyone who messages will get a free ticket! And a hug, beating or lap dance, as preferred. 10.05pm @GreensideVenue George Street. #edfringe #edfringe2026 #edinburgh

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Now a restaurant critic apparently. I'm not interested in food but I do really like free stuff. Hopefully that doesn't come across. www.kentonline.co.uk/whats-on/new...

kentonline.co.uk

‘I tried the London restaurant serving classy Kentish grub'

Columnist Melissa Todd headed to Piccadilly to try a new Kent-inspired seasonal menu - but does it live up to the hype?

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

5 star review in Counterculture magazine! Absolutely flipping ecstatic. countercultureuk.com/category/edi...

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Today's Edinburgh revelation: everyone yawns during the shows. It's not personal. Your audience is knackered, half-drunk, windswept and jet-lagged, and however fascinating you are, the joy of a nice sit down in a warm dark room steals over their fading senses. #edfringe #edinburgh #edfringe2026

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

First show done! Got about 20. Weird playing to an audience that don't know anything about me, many of whom aren't British, simply taking a punt on a random. Think I must go slower and explain better tonight. But overall, solid start, with room for improvement, B+. #edfringe #fringe #edinburgh

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

I have been given a square foot of dressing room carpet to store my shit. Which contains a plug! Verily the Edinburgh gods are smiling down upon me.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

It's a great surprise and huge relief how many Fringe performers are as socially awkward as I am. We are busily bonding over how excruciating we find these endless parties.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Just been told I was brilliant on Traitors. I will take that.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Waiting in the woods for unsuspecting travellers.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Someone has stolen the base of the kettle in the boys' kitchen! A prankster? A drunk? Surely it can't be of any actual use to anyone? Keep ferrying mugs of tea back from the girls' kitchen like some weird submissive eunuch go-between.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I have met the terrifyingly efficient Mia now. She's over from NYC telling ghost stories at noon, and fears my show is on too late for her. I told her twice I was EXTREMELY SHY in the hope she won't expect to hang out.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Waiting in spoons for a zoom with an Australian sex therapist who suggest we combine shows and tour Oz together, although a speedy stalk of her socials suggests she's anti porn and will therefore surely be anti me.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Communal kitchens at Queen Margaret University. I am already terrified of Mia. Going into Edinburgh proper today!

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Sat through all 3 hours and 40 minutes! It was a flawed but fascinating attempt to make Aeschylus contemporary. Glad I went. Have some doubts about some of the directorial decisions, but god, the performances.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Since I'm doing Edinburgh then Greenbelt then Vegas I'm not taking any more bookings until mid September. I realise this sounds glamorous but the truth involves a ton more febreze and pot noodles than one might hope.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Brace yourself Edinburgh. 10.05pm at the Ivy Studio on George Street every night 7-23rd August. See you there. www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Just been invited to a workshop in Edinburgh called "Turning around a disastrous fringe." At least give me a chance to fail first, jeez.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

My show Gag Writer is coming to Edinburgh this year! 10.05pm Ivy Studio on George Street. Please come thank you. www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

edfringe.com

Wheelchair Access, Wheelchair Accessible Toilets, Audio Enhancement System

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

A reimagining of the Picture of Dorian Gray. I like this immensely. Less so the number of bastard mosquitos who somehow managed to infiltrate all that lace.

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

I won sex positive influencer 2026!

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

Chap from Quebec just wished me "shit" for my show rather than "Break a leg!" This is indicative of many carriages depositing huge crowds and much horse manure before the theatre, thus the equivalent to wishing a full house and commercial success. Isn't that spiffing? Not heard it before!

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Melissa Todd @melissartodd.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

No they don't. But also, I'm sick of them illustrating my articles with a picture of a girl in bed. I'm getting zillions of emails from chaps now expecting a shag, not unreasonably. And the typo isn't mine either. metro.co.uk/2026/06/07/i... via @MetroUK

metro.co.uk

I'm a sex worker — this is what men with small penises always ask for

I dread men sending me d*** pics and asking what I think

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