Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Dating in 2026 summarized: First base: third base Second base: homerun Third base: base 2.5 Fourth base: no one does fourth base cause no onr can count anymore Fifth base: first base ++ thirdbase 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Beautifl beutiful marriage ceremony me and the virus in side me.. Peeople dont undertand our long lost star crossed love. Sining the marrige papers right now dont let them tell you love isnt bautful #marrkage #marrige #marriage 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Babies cry beaacuse they want cigarettes and whiskey. And its NOT okay to give them it. Because they are manipulaters. They have no jobs #unemployment and then want to see if you can loan them just one? Excise you. My wife is lwaving me. I need this more than you!!!! You just lay around. #nosmomibg 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 29/05/2026#he#literaly#has#so#much#free#time#now#fix#this#exclamation#point 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 27/05/2026 new goggle sheets logo is horrific. What does this represent?? Doodoo in a toilet thats what!!Ugly!!! I see it and go into what i wish was a blind rage but i can still see that damn logo!!!!! DO SOMETHINGGGGG @developers.google.com @googlesheets.bsky.social @aoc.bsky.social @nytimes.com @npr.org 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 16/01/2026Stranger things? Nothing I find stranger than disrespecting women!!!! #feminism #women #lovewomen #notinagayway #gayisokaythough #imjustnotgay #ilovemenasawoman #straight #ijustreallysupportwomen #womenaresoimportanttome #andhasanyonenoticedhowallwomenaresopretty #ally 020
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 03/11/2025Everything is blue gray when i try to load this app.....on the day i was going to post about bush representation in media.....so if you ever think im quiet about something just remember. Was i silent? Or was i SILENCED 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 10/09/2025Exactly! Think about it as a fun challenge, how much money can you give your wife and how long can you go without seeing her ^-^ also if you see her at the grocery store with me don't worry about it 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 10/09/2025She really loves you!! I feel like it's only fair that you should get her a gift, have you considered giving her $50k and 6 months away from the house? I think something that people in love love is not having any communication with their partner for a while! No questions asked and such haha 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/08/2025Currently in the world, there's too many stories about people like Icarus. Let's find ourselves an I(NTJ)carus myth and inspire people! 5/5: End of thread 🧵 011
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/08/2025I would rather hear about a myth of a person who uses their mind, thinks things through (and ignores any pesky emotions that don't make sense), and succeeds! Wouldn't that be more interesting to read? It would be a good lesson, fun, and I know other INTJs and logical thinkers would feel seen! 4/? 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/08/2025I really don't think we should be teaching the population myths that feature impulsive characters, what if people are inspired by it? It's just not good as a role model to people. 2/? 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/08/2025THREAD 🧵 I'm an INTJ so maybe that's why I don't understand, but why would Icarus fly so close to the sun? Of course he fell, logically what did he think would happen otherwise? If he thought critically, he would have understood what was going to happen. 1/? 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/08/2025Sometimes your best friend's soulmate is your fave mistress #thatslife #yolo #humpday #iburpofrn 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Congratulations on passing the test, you have the highest score of all test takers!!! Your next test - get a treat :3 and also kill someone 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 06/08/2025COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS: 1. Who is the poster referring to as "they"? 2. What in the text implies "they" would fall in love with the poster? 3. Why would the poster kill "them"? Is there anything in the text to show a reason? Extra Credit: What mental illnesses would you diagnose the poster with? 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 06/08/2025I hope that when I go to the U.S. of A. (USA for short) They require me to show my social media. And then I show them and they go wow....you are so smart and sexy and funny..... And then I go I know very casually and coolly not like the other girls and they fall in love with me and then I kill them 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 06/08/2025They call it peenis cause theres pee in there #biology #geology # 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 25/04/2025Taylor swift? More like tailor!!! Swift!!!! Button fell off my shirt I need it fixed asap (as soon as possible) 100
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 19/03/2025Exactly!!! Like "arrest" me then if you're so bothered by a little bit of taking stuff 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Ikr!!! (Thay stands for 'i know right'). I wonder who made it and if they'll make a sequel. Spotify 2 would be awesome 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Thank you!!! It's a hard job but I do it for the love of the game and for the money and benefits and so that i stop getting smacked with a broom by my neighbor cause apparently it's a 'crime" to walk into their house and take stuff..who knew 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Like if you were a tapeworm, I'd put you in a roll of tape of course 210
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 13/03/2025Yes.. but only if you were a type of worm that could survive in the puddle and mud!!! If u were a worm that can't handle it (not because u aren't strong and powerful, but because of worm/water biology), I would put u in a different and more suitable environment so u can thrive 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 12/03/2025Guys....have you ever heard of this?? Check it out!!! 👉👉spotify.com 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 12/03/2025Almost got hit by an electric bike and also a car while writing this but I will NOT be silenced!!!!! 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 12/03/2025Seeing a full moon and remembering reverse psychology and wishing to capitalize on it: ohhhhh I sure hope a butch werewolf ISNT out here with me in the dark.... Then remembers Freud against my will: and she might or might have mommy issues I think? 111
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 18/02/2025Damnit...he's just mad he lost at Mario kart again. Not my fault that 200cc is the proper way to play and he can't handle the wild roads. I hope he gets over his tantrum soon and finally snaps me back rolling eyes emoticon 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 18/02/2025Is Brian Thompson also ghosting you guys or has he just been mad at me only. He broke our Snapchat streak and doesn't reply to the tiktoks I send him:/ 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Just saw the sexiest bus ever do you think she likes girls 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Same scenario but British person is saying it: yea bro we were snogging then she gave me noggin. I'm British by the way 011
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Forgetting the word 'head': yea bro she gave me such good noggin last night 100
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/01/2025You need to wear it to make sure the job aligns with your values on catboys. "if you stand for nothing what do you fall for" wasn't just a quote from a yaoi musical.. it's how to live life. I take all my life advice from musicals it's why I became gay. Cause the musicals said to 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Staring a lawsuit right now.. they deserve at least a few more dollars I think. I hope the government agrees 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 09/01/2025They call the hairstyle "ponytail" because ponys tails also hurt just like your scalp when you put you ur hair in the elastic band. We pay ponies over 45million $ a year for the right to use the word 'ponytail' but because they cant read, we give them only a dollar and say it's 45mil. Scamming them 110
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 27/12/2024Friday night wooooooo . Anyone want to uhh. Sorry. Don't have snything funny zo post canceled. Come back tomorrow or in like 3 minutes. We'll see 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/12/2024I was told the time I would get picked up would be 11:07 and it's 110:4 and they're here and I'm not yet cause there's still three minutes!!!!!; I timed everything out so perfectly and for what 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/12/2024Forgot my gloves and am typing this while walking around outside and refuse to correct my spellings so now it looks like in having a stroke oopsie 000
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 24/12/2024rivers have got to he one if theeasg christmasy things ever like why is water flowing..xo u hate the holiday spirit... That should be SNOW 100
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 19/12/2024and i was clapping because i had died (im the dead wife remember) before in a plane crash and am happy this time it didnt crash again cause reincarnation is soooooo annoying so next time think before you judge!!! ok? 010
Mel @melapples.bsky.social · 19/12/2024the plane is currently landing and im clapping and cheering and youre staring at me in horror wanting me to stop and i wont stop. but then you realize youre staring cause ur jealous of my joy and realize that u wish u were that joyful again. and because im the reincarnation of ur dead wife. btw. 111
