iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

After I went no-contact with him a few years later, I was sexually assaulted by another student, someone I thought was a friend, on the train ride home from school... Did he have a close friend that could have stopped him but didn't? Idk, maybe I deserved it... 🤷‍♀️

000

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

Sure, as a 27 year old, I now feel deep piercing guilt about it... But it's just too late, isn't it? I actually knew it was wrong back then too... I could have listened to my conscience, but this wretched moid was just more important to me... There's just no excuse for my behavior...

110

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

To me, not losing a friend was more important than the trauma those girls endured... Yeah, I'm really really disgusting...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

Ever since I heard about the Cornell 7, I haven't been able to stop thinking about how 12 year old me acted exactly like those 50 men in the group chat... I've enabled multiple sexual assaults because I was too much of a coward to stand up to my friend...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

Another time he tricked a girl who was 2-3 years younger than us into striping naked in front of us in a game of truth or dare and then secretly filmed her with his phone. I saw that he was doing this, and didn't do anything to inform her about it or stop it... I deeply regret that too...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

One time we went to a church camp and he wanted to go out at night to the tents of girls and sexually assault them in their sleep. He wanted me to go with him. I found this reprehensible and pretended to be asleep... I deeply regret that I didn't do anything to stop him.

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

Well, unfortunately blind loyalty is not a virtue...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

In school most people despised and bullied me. It was because when they started bullying him I stayed loyal to him... I defended him... I actually was proud about it... Sure, I became a pariah, but I did the right thing by supporting my friend, even when things got tough, right?

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

In retrospect I wasn't actually his equal. I was always extremely passive, while he was the driving force behind most of the things we did together. He initiated, and I followed...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

In a way, even tho he made me feel extremely uncomfortable so much, he somehow was my everything... I sometimes think my brain mistook him for a boyfriend... Many people at school thought we were gay because we were so close and in retrospect I think a part of me believed it too...

110

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

I felt very uncomfortable about many of the things he made me do, but I did them anyway... He constantly pressured me to break my parents' rules, which made me feel very guilty, but apparently not enough to stand up to him...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

I unfortunately acted extremely submissive around him. He would constantly get me to do things that I didn't actually want to do. I struggled a lot with saying no to him and most of the time I would try to get out of the situation without having to stand up to him.

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 12h

Between the ages of 10 and 14 I had only a single friend and he was an absolutely disgusting terrible person, he wanted to be a soldier, was obsessed with violence and gore, and he sexually assaulted multiple girls, one of them right in front of me...

100

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 14h

They're letting me speak about radical transfeminism for 20 minutes straight next week... These cissoids have no idea what's about to hit them hihi :3

040

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

> Girlfriend makes me a Martini > Me: "oh so you're trying to make me drunk so you can have your way with me later? 🥰" > Her: "As if I needed to make you drunk for that... 😐" Outch... I mean, she's not wrong, but she didn't need to say it... 😖

021

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

In a better world, this wouldn't surprise me... I'd be able to just expect this from a bunch of leftists... But honestly, life has taught me to generally never trust cis people, even the progressive ones...

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Seriously, the conversation went to trans kinds and puberty blockers and these cis people were actually very understanding when I talked about how traumatic male puberty was and how I wished I had found out about my transness earlier so I could have avoided going through that...

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Went to a party meetup yesterday, we sat around a campfire, they started asking questions about trans stuff... My anxiety went through the roof, but it turned out they were completely normal about it... ^____^

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

For a long time I thought vegetarians could eat fish because when I was a child my parents had vegetarian friends come over for dinner and they specifically prepared fish for them... Well, turned out my parents were just fucking stupid... 🙄

010

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Honestly, I think the reason this "lesbians can be interested in sex with men" thing actually kinda upsets me is because it does feel like its main purpose is to validate self-hating bisexual women's internalized biphobia...

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I wouldn't feel offended if someone calling themselves a "lesbian" tells me she's deliberately having sex with men... I also wouldn't actually confront her about it... But internally I would absolutely question her introspection and I wouldn't consider her to fit my definition of a lesbian 🤷‍♀️

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

As a pescetarian I honestly would feel quite offended if a self-proclaimed vegetarian deliberately ate meat in my presence ngl... It would feel like a mockery of the efforts I put into maintaining my diet...

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

There are no vegetarians who occasionally eat meat... People who sometimes eat meat but mostly don't are called "flexitarians."

220

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I say this as someone who does actually use the label "bi-lesbian" to indicate that I'm bisexual homoromantic... I do understand myself as a bisexual woman who doesn't date men and whose sexuality is very significantly slanted towards women. To me "bi-lesbian" indicates that I feel lesbian adjacent

030

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

If a lesbian can be someone who is interested in sex with men, then what is the word for women who never want to have sex with men ever?

130

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I think that expanding labels to be so broad that they no longer tell you anything about the person identifying with them can lead to a situation where the people the label was originally made for become essentially silenced because they no longer have the language to express their experiences...

130

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

> go to queer meetup > don't pay attention to anyone's introduction because of anxiety > unaware the person I'm talking to is non-binary, assume they're just a cis woman > they ask me why I don't smoke > "it reduces estrogen levels 🤷‍♀️" > they reply "Oh really? Guess I'll never stop then..." FML 🫣

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

My brain constantly screams at me to just run away, but of course there's just no escape from all those overwhelming tasks at work... 😖

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I feel like a small prey animal... I'm in a constant state of overwhelming painful anxiety...

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Prescribed from a doctor? Yeah, basically impossible...

010

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I really hope I can stop doing that once I can apply the DBT skills to stop these spiraling emotions... I really don't want to be that way. I like being able to stand up for myself, but I don't want to be genuinely unfair towards people...

010

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Honestly, it's kinda both? I sometimes think I'm just standing up for myself but I overshoot the goal and genuinely become pretty mean and unfair towards other people and it's because I let myself get overtaken by my anger...

110

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Chat... It's so fucking joever... Told my girlfriend my tits need to be touched, and she just said "oh did I take my evening estrogen?" and went ahead and smeared gel all over her forearms and now she can't touch me anymore... 😭😭😭

160

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I understand that people liked me more when I just internalized everything and blamed myself for their mistakes, but that actually was a symptom of mental illness too... Becoming able to understand that some things genuinely aren't my fault was part of the healing process...

010

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I don't think people realize that "recovery" means I become more abrasive, not less... <____<

140

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Mhm, same, reading about it tears me apart on the inside... 😖

010

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Back on Twitter I was dysphoriaposting hard and some cis moid randomly showed up and was like "would it help if I called you a good girl?" and now every time someone calls me that I get a flashback to that moment and I remember how fucking weird that was... <____<

021

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

This makes me so mad, there were so so many signs, how did nobody figure out I'm actually neurodivergent before the age of 26?

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Bonus meme, as a child my parents sent me to ergotherapy for like *years* because I had no clear dominant hand and my handwriting and fine motor skills were ridiculously terrible, and still nobody ever considered Dyspraxia... which btw has a very high comorbidity with ADHD... 😐

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

My girlfriend said "I don't think anyone can ever love me" and I answered "that's not true, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you" and somehow she still didn't get it... Like, she wouldn't have a girlfriend either if I didn't make the first move... and the second... and the third... :b

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I immediately ran to my girlfriend to show her this post and say "this your secret account?"... She was not amused... :b

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ah it's "27 year old woman gets informed that thing she has been struggling with her whole life is actually not normal and probably a disorder" time again... 😐

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Anyway, I refuse to interact with my girlfriend's mom in any way because I don't actually know my girlfriend's deadname, and I really don't want to learn it... Unless she starts calling my girlfriend by her real name and consistently does so I will absolutely not talk to her...

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ironically there wouldn't be anything wrong with my girlfriend actually calling her a bad mother to her face since she objectively *is* a bad mother for not supporting her trans daughter... 🤷‍♀️

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Girlfriend told her transphobic mom that she's getting an ADHD assessment, and her mom just left her on read... 😬 Same mom who thinks my girlfriend is "insulting" her and "calling her a bad mother" by being trans despite her not noticing any signs...

120

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

As a woman with a CNC kink I think CNC sex parties that are so integral to your industry that they are considered important professional networking events and women working in that industry feel strongly pressured into attending them are *extremely* bad actually... <____<

020

MELadapted @meladapted.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I mean, I'm repeating myself, but there's a huge overlap between sanism and transphobia... As in projecting how your own mind works onto everyone else and then assuming that people who claim they're experiencing a mental phenomenon that you don't experience yourself must have sinister motives...

030