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Michael Delaporta

@mdelaporta.bsky.social
317 followers 97 following 1.3K posts

Who that hath a throne, or a gilded privilege not attainable by his neighbor, let him procure his slippers & get ready to dance, for there is going to be music.

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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 9h
“Oops, all borscht!”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Giving big Fredo “I’m not dumb I’m smart and I got passed over” energy.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Like the Hemingway line about bankruptcy: gradually, then suddenly.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Run.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Also, for me, felt like this year the fatigue was less, but the COVID arm was hella sore.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Looking around our bruised world, feels like teaching your children to be enthusiastic about getting the magic immunity juice is a good act that will echo for generations into the future. Huzzah.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Boomers on their second gummie, absolutely shitting themselves.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
During “Angry Young Man”, it’s just that nerd from the “Nancy” comic, seven stories tall. Menacing.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
ALPRs are genuinely useful for *legitimate* policing. So: all Flock searches issued by police become public after 30 days unless blocked by a signed court order. If cops want to stalk their ex-girlfriends, do it publicly, you fucking creep.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Dorf on Unimaginable Unaccountable Unconstrained Power
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
p h i l i p
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Yup
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Impressive when it was dudes in a wooden boat with harpoons. (I live in Connecticut and have been to the museums. Freaky shit.) But still happening on an industrial scale, especially in the Pacific. Gross.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Some people say that it’s ok to wear tan shoes with a grey suit. Except if you’re a cunt.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Not only will they not lower costs, they will be largely powerless to prevent the imbecile President from doubling down on the policies that dug us in this hole. A smart party wouldn’t anchor themselves to an unachievable goal. Alas…
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I hope he’s afraid to blink because he sees a quarter million dead Iraqis every time he closes his eyes.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Esprit d'escalier
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“Be gentle, it’s my initial public offering…”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
One lie is a crime. A million lies is a statistic.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Reach down, between my legs… I dropped my phone and don’t want to hurt my back…”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Assuming he doesn’t die in office, it’s a 100% lock that he issues a preemptive pardon for every admin official, including himself. SCOTUS would 100% support. Is any Dem 2028 contender going to address fixing so it can’t happen again?
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
After millennia of the alternative, in the last 40 years men have had to learn how to *earn* love. And they have *not* gotten over it.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Only people who are 100% certain that there’ll be no consequences would do that. Sadly…
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Liza Zeppelin
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
RIP Lindsey Graham
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
It’s not a contraction, it’s an alcoholic transcription.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Yeah, it’s not like falsely accusing a war hero of being a coward. That shit you *can* make up.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Add the ghost of a Victorian child that’s also somehow divorced.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
SpongeBob meme: Only democracy in the Middle East
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I genuinely hope this person never gets a illness that threatens his life and is difficult to treat. But if he does, and there’s an advanced therapy that’s in limited supply, this fucker gets a bag of magnets.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
www.google.com/search?q=ba1267
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This is awful for you, but it’s tremendous content.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Me, after listening to hundreds of episodes of the History of English podcast: my god, that’s before the Middle English vowel shifts that happened after the Norman Conquest! Modern audiences will never accept that!
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
They “did their own research” and it said “don’t be an imbecile and get the magic immunity juice”. ✊
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Proteinshake Duck
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
July 24, 2004, NESN
Two baseball players in uniforms with the number 3 on the back. One wears a helmet and the other wears a cap. The word "BOSTON" appears on the uniform.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The brain in the father of the neck.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I agree we shouldn’t gender cat ownership, but also never got that cats were girl-coded. They are solitary hunting machines that see in the dark and have knives for hands. That’s some tuff shit.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Reinstate the pool reporter for 15 minutes and ask Trump to pronounce this person’s name.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I mean, has a citadel full of ammunition ever become a symbol of tyrannical power and the target of a mass uprising? Probably not, won’t look it up.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“Ned Rickshawnikoff”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Pre-literates stunting on post-literates.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Hoping there’s an afterlife so he can see the thousands of thumbs-down-emoji floral arrangements sent to his poorly-attended Vegas buffet wake.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“HP-12C, things of that nature.”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
They didn’t die *from* war, they died *during* war.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“Susan, we’ve secured our fifty-first vote to support thieving canvassers, you’re allowed to vote no…”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Republicans need to get their own Rogan.
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Probably better this way. “Your robot is driving off a cliff!” “Would you like to take a survey at the conclusion of this call?”
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Michael Delaporta @mdelaporta.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If the Time Cube guy didn’t die 15 years ago, today, he’d be the head of NASA. Follow your dreams, imbeciles!!
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