Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Technically correct, though, in that I’m not sure it’s *much* of a Chinatown unfortunately 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Switching Jets OT to the Commanders should be illegal 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 21/07/2026Him being dead AND in office seems kind of win-win to me honestly 011
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 19/07/2026Like, there are so many real reasons to be mad the US right now. A halftime show probably isn’t it 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 15/07/2026My most cherished and unshakable conspiracy theory is that FIFA chooses each World Cup winner years in advance and and my theory that they’ve chosen Messi this year hasn’t been proven wrong yet 030
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 12/07/2026I don’t believe in Hell but not everyone deserves to rest in peace 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Make that shit into pad mama, Thai-style, and it’ll change your whole life buddy 030
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I don’t think I understand why Balogun or the rest of the team should be punished because Trump is a piece of shit, though. This is their lifelong dream and he shouldn’t be allowed to crush these too 030
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 07/07/2026There is so little joy in being from the US these days. Please just let us enjoy this silly little soccer game. 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Being named Harry Kane just seems kind of silly 020
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Hands down the worst fireworks display I have ever seen 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Cannot see shit cos of all the smoke. Metaphors keep metaphoring 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I’ve never ever wanted to text “he’ll yeah” but you can’t convince my phone of that 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 13/06/2026If all the other teams in the World Cup play the way Paraguay did, USA could have a chance 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 09/06/2026In a drawer nowhere near the drawer where I keep my old 10 pairs of warby parker glasses 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 07/04/2026What in the actual fuck is wrong with Donald J Trump (hypothetical) 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 04/04/2026Is there a word for how weird it is to be alive 000
Reposted by Malina JacobowitzThe Onion @theonion.com · 25/03/2026Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People theonion.com/archaeological-dig-unc… 9883691587
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 13/02/2026Why would a man who took the job with this knowledge voluntarily resign…with the exact same knowledge? It’s a garbage premise. If we want these fools out, we’re forced to rely on YOU & your colleagues to impeach. But instead we have to make do with this plaintive whining? Get real and get to work. 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 08/02/2026In this instance I’m the asshole. It’s generally how I (internally) react to people who are absolutely convinced they know my job better than I do and can’t wait to give me advice. I learned it, incidentally, from a horrible boss. 110
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 25/01/2026The Washington native singing the National Anthem in a southern accent at this playoff game feels like the last straw tbh 020
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 23/01/2026I was in line behind a family of five getting three whole pineapples. Three pineapples. THREE. WHOLE. PINEAPPLES. 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 10/11/2025I’m one of your constituents and disgusted by this weak capitulation that you and the other corporatists in your party will somehow mask as an act of service. Shame on you and all your peers who caved. 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 17/10/2025Being a Jets fan is like being a fan of slipping on bananas 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 05/10/2025Being a Jets fan is like being a fan of stepping on rakes 030
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 02/10/202585% of my dreams are in the same fictional place - it’s a whole landscape. There’s a beach, a house where I’m often stuck in a party, a highway, an airport, etc. When I’m one place in a dream, I always know where the other places are in relation to my location. It’s weird & comforting. 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 24/09/2025No one I know who is opposed to ICE uses the phrase “anti-ICE” because it’s a stupid fucking way to say that 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 12/09/2025White on white violence is out of control, yall 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 11/09/2025People who love to quote the Bible seem kind of confused by the “reap what you sow” part 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 10/09/2025Things keep getting more and more what the fuckier every day 000
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 12/07/2025Doing the wave at a baseball game is the only thing that makes me proud to be an American anymore 030
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 14/05/2025Have tried this exact thing and can confirm you have to keep trying 040
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 29/04/2025Why am I getting so many posts of men’s topless selfies and how do I turn off the internet 040
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 23/04/2025It is me, a person who is deeply aware that I have truly awful taste in candy 010
Malina Jacobowitz @mazjac.bsky.social · 14/04/2025Where even is the fucking rubicon anymore? We’re supposed to just keep wading through more and more rivers of SHIT until when? Until everyone this admin hates is dead or deported or so overcome with despair we wish we were both? Fuck man 030
