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Maximilian Ximenez

@maxximenez.bsky.social
353 followers 677 following 4.6K posts

Born to chew bubblegum, forced to kick ass. Literary agent, Fortean psychonaut, freelance demiurge and self-defined "asexual libertine." The Eternal September and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. All inquiries to email.

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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 18h
I'm in this photo and I don't like it
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The deep lore
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The post-credits scene for the movie about CERN features Les Horribles Cernettes as a teaser for the following film about the invention of the internet.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Macklemore
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Kurt Russel fighting replicants, just a few years earlier.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
BRAVO WILSON R A V I W I L S O N
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
How it feels to be a mid 30s New Yorker who never learned to drive during a fuel crisis
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
There's actually a surprisingly compelling documentary on this!
The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Them: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me:
"Time enough at last"
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
This is going to become one of my default reaction images going forward
"Thank you for being supportive."
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Link's crossbow training
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Welsh Rarebit
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
You've never heard of Pineapple Rain?
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
KH4's version of Kurt Zisa
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I'd like to imagine Cosmo Kramer is the Seinfeld Universe's expression of Moorcock's eternal champion
I'm told it's my duty to fight against the law
That wizardry's my trade and I was born to wade through gore
I just want to be a lover, not a red-eyed screaming ghoul
I wish it'd picked another to be its killing tool
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
WHITE WHALE HORNY GRAIL
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
>my face when Americans call chips “french fries” >my face when Americans call crisps “chips” >my face when Americans call lifts “elevators” >my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars” >>my face when Americans call Lucy Tunes "Acid Jazz"
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Stephen King directed a documentary on this, actually.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
No notes. Perfection.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Dril already beat you to it.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Darshan is Coming
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
One thing I always forget about the late 80s' favorite fantasy hero Drizzt Do'Urden is that he's canonically like 5'4" and has a severely receding hairline. Physically he's more similar to George Costanza than Conan and I love that for him.
This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
BODE
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
my neighbor just told me the book I loaned him scored him a date
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
My tax dollars at work. Like legit hell yeah I'm glad I can pay for a cool dude to make people mad. I guess that's kinda like monarchy if we're just paying for performance but still stay mad plebs.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
BEST STAR TREK CAPTAIN. WRONG ANSWERS ONLY.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
holy fucking shit google what are you doing
A screenshot of a google search query and AI response that states the following: "is there a canonical explanation for why alustriel silverhand is black." "In official Dungeons & Dragons lore, Alustriel Silverhand is canonically human, not Black. As one of the legendary Seven Sisters and a Chosen of Mystra, she is famously described as having striking, ageless features and flowing silver hair."
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
My face when I find out you hated Social Studies.
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
I'm sorry, heated "white boy" moment?
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
A headline from business insider reading "Cargo thieves have set their sights on data center supplies"gordon ramsay saying 'delicious, finally some good fucking IRL CYBERPUNK"
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
steal his look
colovian fur helm ass drip
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
a very merry abso lutely day to all whom celerbate
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
"Mr. President a second kaiju movie featuring giant frankenstein monsters has hit the tower"
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Maximilian Ximenez @maxximenez.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Holy shit lmao this can't be real sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunnys_...
Dunnies & Draigons is a weel=kent fantasy role-playin gemme oreegialy shapit bi Gary Gygax an Dave Arneson. It wis first prentit in 1974 bi Gygax’s company, Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. (TSR).[1] The gemme is nou prentit by Wizards of the Coast, a diveesion o Hasbro. Ite wis taen frae the little gemmes o war, wi a variation o the Chainmail gemme serrin as the first rule seestem. The publication is thocht tae be the beginin o modren role-playin gemmes an the hale gemmes industry.
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