iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Business idea: savlon which tastes repulsive to dogs. Posted whilst trying in vain to stop the dog licking a cut on his foot.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

That is a VERY different business! #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Out of interest, do we know if Martyn has kids? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Put him down? They've only had him a few days. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

If Amber names the brat Bear I'll report her to the NSPCC myself. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I don't understand Lynda's business plan. She expects someone else to pay to set up the whole business and they take all the profits? Why would anyone agree to that? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I genuinely don't understand what all the fuse is about with Manchester City. Surely massive financial corruption is the whole point of top tier football? Like, I thought we put all the worst people in the world in charge of football deliberately so they weren't responsible for anything important?

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I'm happy to be remembered as a cantankerous old man. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Amber: I think we should call him Baby: Sponsored By Apple. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yelling at babies famously helps calm them. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Just went into a petrol station where one Boost cost £1.85 and a pack of four Boosts cost £1.75. Our society is broken.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Yep, your life is over now, Amber. Better get used to it. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Eddie and Susan are both so horrible. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

We're going for a postnatal depression storyline, then. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"I'm seeing a friend later." "Anyone I know?" "Fuck off, Susan." #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I don't really have any opinion on people bringing drinks to interviews, but if someone turned up with a cape and entrance music I'd hire them on the spot.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

How much damage did it do to the car? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Kate is unsettled by rutting males displaying their testosterone? You'd think growing up with Brian would have prepared her. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Jazzer: For christ sake, you've done one lesson now, WHY CAN'T YOU DRIVE! #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Helen: Me me me me me me me me me me me me me... #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Anna: ...and I lured Alan up. I plan to burn him in the wicker man. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"I've worked really hard all my life." I must have missed that episode, Eddie. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You join me this afternoon as I attempt to catch our tortoise so I can weigh him. He's surprisingly nippy and determined not to be caught.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My wife has gone away for the weekend and has stolen all the rizzlas, if anyone knows a good divorce lawyer.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"Ahhh, look at his little hooves." #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Amber's Tarzan audition is going well. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Don't make poor Brad stand around in the hospital for the next nine hours! #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The only acceptable response to "Are you filming this?" is NO OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Bobo? Bobo? Was Robert married to a cartoon gorilla? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

You legally can't, Brad, you ninny. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If you go round the back there are steps.

BBC 'news' headline: "How can musicians get on stage at a festival?"

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I think what Brad really needs is a teacher who isn't terrible. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Robert: ...and how much for a happy ending? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP BEING STRESSED!" #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Not a natural teacher, Jazzer, is he? #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If you're wondering why I was typing "whoredom", is was cos I was asking your mum about business.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Just typed "whoredom" and my phone changed it to "wholesome". Which is quite sweet.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Office discussion today: what is the collection noun for popes? I think a predation. A judgement has also been suggested.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Didn't have Kate down for reading fantasy bollocks. Didn't have Kate down for reading... #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

"...and to really honour mum's memory, after the ceremony everyone is going to have a massive fight." #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear everyone in Ambridge, BUY A FUCKING PHONE! #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

If anyone in Ambridge did magic tricks, it would be Brad. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

How is this "activism"? He's a violent thug and calling him an activist legitimises him.

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"It's not for me to judge other's 'woo woo' beliefs," say the man who believes a judgemental sky goblin who is made of both bread and wine is his own son. #TheArchers

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Matt @mattukernow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I'm having Highway to Hell by AC/DC at my funeral. #TheArchers

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