Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 30/09/2026October truly is the scary movie season. I can tell 'cuz that’s when Hollywood puts out all its exposés about tech CEOs. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 30/09/2026“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said a technology that doesn’t destroy humanity.” -AI CEOs 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Poetry is to standup comedy what burlesque is to stripping. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Can't believe these tech platforms are really tryna Robert Kraft this El0n documentary. 010
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Wow, there's already a song about that lesbian bar in Massachusetts! www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y-6... This verse gotta be about KN-95 masks… 🎶 In the first bar, things were just okay In this bar, things were done my way I was dancing in a lesbian bar, ooh, ooh, ooh 🎶youtube.comJonathan Richman - I Was Dancing In The Lesbian Bar (from I, Jonathan)YouTube video by Craft Recordings 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 25/09/2026NYC: If you only see one show I do this year, this is the one. Jokes galore! Promo code/ticket link below... 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Now Meta wants access to my email and bank accounts? Let's just end the charade, Zuck. Just put a button on Facebook that says, "Please take my identity and ruin my future." I'd rather just get this over with. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Bringing iced coffee to the lesbian bar and wearing a KN-95 mask to a job interview just to show everyone on social media I GET IT. 010
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 24/09/2026All these pro-AI people are the angriest optimists I've ever seen. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Life hack: If you’re just going to drug and assault women anyway, you can save yourself the trouble of hitting yourself in the face with a hammer to attract them. 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026George Saunders on how to turn your life into a story... 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't solve, hold a conference about it. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Attacking "private equity" for ruining sports while being sponsored by betting apps is peak podcapitalism. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Time to change it to LGBTQLC (last two letters standing for Long Covid)? 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Looney Tunes animator Chuck Jones used to throw yes sessions: “It was a ‘yes’ session, not an ‘anything goes’ session. Anything went, but only it was positive, supportive, and affirmative to the premise. No negatives were allowed. If you could not contribute, you kept quiet." 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Who's really "braver": Ed Sheeran or Macklemore? Sheeran is facing a massive backlash, getting removed from radio station playlists, enduring calls for boycotts, and reducing ticket prices. Maybe that's why he’s in tears. Meanwhile, Macklemore’s career is getting a big boost... 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Brilliant UI by Instagram. Way to block the content we really wanna see! 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 22/09/2026This has been the answer all along. Unity. Collective action. Standing together. It's what the law firms and universities should have done too. If only there was some saying about how the divided tend to fall but... 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 22/09/2026What if we put all the data centers in Idaho and power them this way? 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I'm okay not eating on Yom Kippur because I just tell myself I'm intermittent fasting. And that's how I overcome my intermittent Judaism. 001
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Sydney Sweeney heard all the complaints about her last ad and decided to double DD-own. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Crafts has really been riding arts' coattails for a while now. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026“It’s not for me” is “I love that for you” minus the glazing. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I’ve watched enough standup comedy to know that “free the deodorant at CVS” would be an effective campaign slogan. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 18/09/2026You can't say AI might "kill" all of humanity. You have to say AI might "unalive" all of humanity. Because the robots want to protect us from harmful content as they eliminate us. 🤯 022
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Re: that Sydney Sweeney ad, dontcha get it? The purpose of a lot of advertising now is to incite rage. If you're furious about it, that's great. And if you post angrily about it, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Madison Avenue's gone from Don Draper at work to Don Draper at home. 020
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Horror movie idea: It’s called "Gated Community." An injury leads to an Amazon worker getting fired. This leads to a bunch of Amazon warehouse workers imprisoning wealthy folk inside their own neighborhood, turning it into a makeshift prison. 110
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 16/09/2026I keep hearing about “deaths of despair.” Scary stuff. That's why I've leaned into a life filled with despair instead! 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I kinda relate to Macklemore because I too am frequently an opening act who gets oddly political and makes things weird for the headliner. Come see me tell jokes in NY, VA, MA, PA, MD upcoming. (I’ll be headlining so the weirdness will be fine.) 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026🗯️ Fauxtations 🗯️ “Did you get your steps in today?” -Fitbit and/or AA meeting “Unlike you, I respect indigenous cultures!” -Man tossing virgin into a volcano “L’eggo my ego.” -Buddhist waffles “I swear, I am not responsible for Aaron Rodgers.” -Ayahuasca 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026💡 IDEA: a doomsday bunker tax. How it works: These tech oligarchs get to stay in their bunkers and we get everything else they own. "Don't like it? Then ride out the apocalypse with the rest of us!" 020
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"Zohran's wife once put Macklemore on a playlist!" -NY Post headline tomorrow probably 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026We eliminated bullying and look what happened. 🤓 Also: Can I bet on the destruction of humanity on Polymarket? 🤔 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 13/09/2026It’s hilarious to me that Jaws was a book. How do you write that in prose? “Fin. Legs. Du duh du duh du duh. Scream! FIN.” 😂 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Do men need to examine their privilege OR stop being such broke losers? Do they need to "shut up and listen" OR approach women more often? This is why we need more women in the military...it'll help ladies clock the issues that inevitably result from conflicting orders within the chain of command. 001
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Gems from the most recent Rubesletter. Read the rest at link below... 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Toad venom from indigenous folk should rebrand as FUBU BUFO. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 12/09/2026> Email: "Good day Sir/Madam" > How they think I'll respond: "Finally, correspondence from a true GENTLEMAN. Go on..." 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 11/09/20269/11: "This will change everything." Pandemic: "This will change everything." Reality: "Nothing ever changes.” Kudos to reality for being impervious to change, regardless of whatever tragedy happens. 100
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Czechia? Türkiye? Why are we NOW changing how we say these countries in int'l sports? Decades of my life have gone by and it's too late for me to adjust now. Related: I think all this hair plug money is going to Turkey's head. 000
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 11/09/2026"I am very well respected by my peers." -Me explaining my inability to sell tickets Upcoming shows in NY, VA, MA, MD, PA, & live taping in NYC! 001
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Gen Z dresses like a slop bowl of fashion. It’s like there was a fire and they had to put on whatever was closest before dashing out the door. I miss when having "drip" just meant you had chlamydia. 000