iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Just looked at the weather forecast. Counting down the days until Fake Fall!

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Me, a super-pessimistic Packers fan, after last night:

Fake Kenny Loggins from Yacht Rock: It's called the 80s, and it's gonna be around forever"

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I wonder how many airline pilots are Christian to the extent that they believe that they're destined for eternal paradise after death, thus removing a bit of incentive to keep the plane in the air. It's terrifying.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Should help with demolition that this thing will be able to blow itself up.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Hadn't our city outlawed both gas-powered leaf blowers AND plastic shopping bags at some point in the last decade?

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

One of my most lasting memories from (shortly after) 9/11 was our first literature class once they resumed (I was a college freshman). Professor said, first words out of his mouth, something very close to: "Well, we're living in a banana republic now. May not feel like it yet, but just wait."

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Fucking zero. Anyone who comes up with a NON-zero number is too young to be on this site.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I love this without any reservation or irony. Great idea. Could be a damn theme park.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

This is true. Also questions like, "can I pee out of your window?" No. No is the answer.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

30 years in Dallas and I STILL don't belong...

US map showing that Dallas, my home of several decades, is the second "least similar" to how I talk.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

My wife went into (very minor) surgery just before this happened. Can't wait to tell her that, while she was out, the name of a Great Lake changed.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I don't think I fully understand the complete and utter ire. The visceral anger. My—you only get one life. And to have to sit through this bullshit, I'll never forgive. Any of it.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

How old am I? I am, as of today, "couldn't recall exactly how many without really focusing" years old.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Me to daughter (2): What are you going to do?! Daughter: I'm going to throw this at you! Fair

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

"I need a day off!" No such thing. A day off isn't like winning the lottery or finding a hundo on the ground. It's getting a fucking high-interest loan. A credit card with the balance due immediately. With interest. You gotta pay for the shit AND for the privilege of not doing the shit right away.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

That fucking RUG, man. Holy shit.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Two year old just stood on my chest, jumped off, hit me with a flying elbow in the throat, and said, "SORRY dada." No notes.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Dear Atlantic: Attached is the article I read on July 25. I feel you should know that some asshole is using your website to publish stupid articles. - General Counsel, Cleveland Stadium Corporation. cc: Arthur B. Modell

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Ad Agency Office, ca. 2007 [PHONE RINGS] ME: This is Matt BOSS: How do you find Youtube? ME: Uh... go to youtube.com? BOSS: Thanks! [CLICK]

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

As a near 30-year Texan, I've been represented by some REAL pieces of shit over the years. This guy might take the cake.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

I've seen every Star War since the 90s in theaters, including Attack of the Clones. My answer is probably STILL Pearl Harbor.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Who still does laundry? Does everybody not know that if your clothes sit at the bottom of a pile in your closet for long enough they shed the impurities and effectively clean themselves?

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Canada should apologize for being the first host to be eliminated.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

My mom watched Lost. As a result, I've never seen a minute of it.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Or they could just keep up the hard work of making this country an embarrassing shithole that nobody wants to be a citizen of anyway.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

I can't recall the last time I ate a Cheeto. In either form. Used to absolutely house that shit.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Not exactly on point, but one Christmas while at a church not our own (we're Catholic), the ushers were encouraging everyone to scoot in to make room. Dad turns around and tells the guy behind us to spread his legs a little bit. Me: You know who that was? Dad: No. Me: Ross Perot

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

I think this is the first World Cup where I didn't have to explain how a guy can play for an English team but also play for Brazil. America has finally arrived on the world footballing stage.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

I want to murder the person who invented the gas-powered leaf blower.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

Well the CSPAN feed seems to have a person on camera who does not realize it.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

I'm having a morning. I mis-counted my clean underwear the other day. I'm apparently out. Tried to go commando. No good. Super hot and humid. Dallas in June! 1/x

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

I was unemployed for like a year during the Great Recession. This "the poor NEED UberEats!" nonsense drives me nuts.

static.klipy.com

It's Always Sunny: They're What's Called 'New Poor'

Alt: It's Always Sunny: They're What's Called 'New Poor'

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

This pisses me off so much. It's frankly the last straw. I'd been looking forward to this World Cup for YEARS, but FIFA has burned through so much goodwill in service of their own bullshit. Fuck @fifawc26.bsky.social. I won't watch a single fucking match now.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Reagan. I'd put that old fuck DOWN.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

There's a non-zero chance a high-ranking official is going to try to Weekend at Bernie's him. Hopefully this all reads as funnier to future generations when it's taught(?) in schools(?).

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

V IV VI VIII R1 VII S III I II XI I'm still mad about XI.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Holy cow! I just heard! Congrats to @mlamster.bsky.social on his Pulitzer. I can't think of many people more deserving. Dallas is a better place because of his work.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Can I go back and just delete Top Gun?

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Plano can have them. Fucking Stars.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

I've been about as drunk as a human can be, but I've never been "need SWAT equipment to get my drunk ass up" wasted.

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Matt L @mattl1.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

I came up with this like 3 recessions ago: when employees at suburban Whataburgers develop the vocabularies of PhD candidates instead of bored teenagers.

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